With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music reviews, gig reviews, fun trivia and extra added random stuff!

“She knew all about their violent hormones their cheap perfumes” January 18, 2012

Filed under: News,Observation,Rants — justwilliam1959 @ 11:39 pm
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Now I am really not the kind of person who is favour of formal attire in fact I dislike formal wear immensely. I suppose that this comes partly from having to wear a suit and tie to work every day for most of my working life. Even now in our supposedly modern and enlightened world I still have to wear a tie to work. Why is this? What is the purpose of a neck tie? As far as I can tell it’s just a coloured or patterned piece of material that is tied around the neck for decoration. Does it keep my shirt buttoned? No. Does it keep me warm? No. Does it increase my intelligence? No. Does it sometimes act as a bib and catch food spillages when I eat my lunch? Actually yes it does!

Anyway I hear that the organisers of Royal Ascot are introducing more stringent dress codes for this years event. Click here to read the story on the BBC website. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-16607875 I won’t bore you with all the details as there is only one part that really interests me. You may know that I am a dedicated fascinator hater. I just don’t understand the purpose of those pathetic arty farty constructions that women plonk on their head. Either get a proper hat or wear nothing on your head. Ladies fascinators make you look simple and stupid. (In my opinion at least). well the good news is that fascinators will be banned from the royal enclosure this year, however women must wear a hat. Men must wear a waistcoat and tie, cravats will not be permitted. But let’s face it cravats are a little poncey aren’t they?

So whilst I am pleased that Royal Ascot has banned the fascinator in the royal enclosure I am disappointed that they haven’t banned it completely. aside from that would I really want to attend a function that is so rigorous about telling me what I can and can’t wear? Not particularly. When I attend the likes of the Reading Festival I can wear whatever the hell I want; A Dead Kennedys T Shirt, a Cheeky Girls hoodie, a Prince Charles mask, a Doctor Doom badge or shorts with ‘fuck you, you fucking fuck’ emblazoned across the back. (As an aside here’s a competition for you, I have in fact once worn one of those items at the Reading Festival, can you guess which one? Mr Horslen you’re not allowed to enter as you were with me at the time)

So now I have had my formal wear rant and spread the good news about at least a step in the right direction with regard to the fascinator how about some music? This is a music blog after all isn’t it? So I thought I would choose some fascinator  songs and artists for you. I must confess that I’ve heard none of these tunes before now. I hope that you enjoy them and feel free to suggest others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw_KCrurVhc

 

“Come away, come away if you’re going, leave the sinking ship behind” October 29, 2011

Filed under: News — justwilliam1959 @ 10:10 pm
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As strange headlines go ‘Saddam’s Buttock Fails To Sell At Auction’ is surely among the best isn’t it? But what makes it even better is that it isn’t one of those ridiculous Sunday Sport “Elvis Is Alive And Lives In A London Bus On The Moon” type headlines; it’s actually true!

The cheek of it!

A former SAS man managed to retrieve part of Saddam’s posterior for posterity. (Two words I don’t think I’ve ever used in the same sentence before!) when the infamous statue of Saddam Hussein was pulled down in central Baghdad back in 2003. He put it up for sale at an auction in Derbyshire in the UK.

The cheeky new owner was hoping to raise £250k for soldiers charities. When he was given the bums rush by potential purchasers with a maximum offer of some £21k he realised that he had just been going through the motions and he was gutted. But the idea has a nice ring to it so I believe that he should push hard to do it again and not just go home and sit on his stool. It certainly doesn’t stand up to much anal isys and maybe hard to digest, but perhaps he doesn’t have fart to go before a new owner plops some money into his back pocket to clench (sic) a deal on a number 2 auction.

With all the bottom references and it being nearly Halloween, how could I resist including this?

Read the story on the BBC by clicking here. I would love to hear your thoughts on this bit of news, but in the meantime here are a few hopefully related songs;

 

“Oh what fun we had, but did it really turn out bad?” January 1, 2010

Filed under: Trivia — justwilliam1959 @ 5:43 pm
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Happy New Year to all my regular readers and to all of you who have chanced upon my blog by some kind of awful accident. If you are one of the latter feel free to stay, you won’t catch anything, I promise!

My first post of 2010 relates to one of the last big news stories of 2009; the attempted bombing of the plane over Detroit a few days ago. Firstly let me make an apology up front. I know this is a serious matter but for me there is quite a degree of humour in it, also no one was seriously hurt. So if you are offended by even the mildest of sick jokes then please stop reading now. I am often known by my good friend Fraser as a sick puppy, you may tend to agree.

OK so what is the issue here? Well I have a beef with the fact that Richard Reid who attempted to blow up a plane a few years back by concealing explosives in his shoes is now universally as the Shoe Bomber, whilst Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab who concealed explosives in his underpants is being called the Plane Bomber by most of the British Press. He must be known as the Underpants Bomber surely? Is joking about people like this wrong? I don’t think so, indeed the anti Hitler propaganda in Britain during the Second World War focussed on making Hitler in to a figure of fun (who hasn’t heard the “Hitler has only got one ball refrain”?). Let’s not forget that Abdulmutallab was a ‘failed’ suicide bomber who had agreed to blow himself up starting with his wedding tackle. Actually whoever persuaded him to do that did one hell of a job, how many men do you know who would effectively agree to strap explosives so close to their private parts?

Anyway in the event it was a complete balls up or a cock up if you prefer. It was a real bummer and let’s face it the plan was pants. I dread to think how bad the skidmarks on his pants were. I am sure you can come up with plenty more, post them in the comments section.

Another amusing aspect of this whole story for me was the way it was reported initially. Apparently the Underpants Bomber went to the toilet for twenty minutes and then complained of stomach pains shortly after returning to his seat. It was then said that passengers nearby heard a popping noise and then smelt something horrible. I rest my case!

Johnny Fartpants off of Viz (shown on the side of an RAF Plane)

As I have said before this is ostensibly a music blog so enough about bombing and onto a few mildly appropriate songs

The Underpants Song – Rudy

I’ve Parted (Misprint) – Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Burglars

The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) – Cheeky Girls

Thong Song – Sisqo

Baggy Trousers – Madness

Of course if you can think of any other appropriate songs just let me know

And finally a great YouTube clip from the Singing Butts. I turned 51 today and I have always believed that I would become mature when fart jokes were no longer funny, so I am now able to confirm that as yet I am still not mature 🙂