With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music trivia, useless info, extra added random stuff and the odd rant from me

Lily Allen – ‘My Thoughts Exactly’ January 10, 2019

Filed under: Book,Review — justwilliam1959 @ 11:36 pm
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I have read many music related biographies and autobiographies and I believe that a lot of them never live up to expectations. However Lilly Allen’s is easily up there with the best. It is incredibly honest, brutally so at times. She is not afraid of exposing her own demons and insecurities in any form and this is most certainly not a salaciously delivered tell all gossip style work.

Lily comes across as a very strong feminist with a barbed sharpness for exposing the manipulative, cynical and misogynistic behaviour of a lot of men in the music industry. Some of these men clearly and blatantly abuse their position and prey on women, particularly younger women. She talks of her battles with drugs and mental health. The stories of the paparazzi and tabloid treatment of Lily’s private life sickens me. But it is no less than any genuine person would expect from the scum that work in the vile, gutter press.

Ms. Allen describes her family at great length. The strange and often strained relationship she has with her parents, particularly her father. There are some lighter moments, notably the tale of Lily and her brother Alfie meeting Princess Diana when they were kids. That was laugh out loud until you choke kind of funny.  This book is for me one of the best music related autobiographies that I have ever read and easily fits into my top five. In case you were interested the other four, in no particular order, are;

  • Diary Of A Rock ‘N’ Roll Star – Ian Hunter
  • Rod – Rod Stewart
  • Life – Keith Richards
  • Clothes, Clothes, Clothes. Music, Music, Music. Boys, Boys, Boys. : A Memoir – Viv Albertine

Public Service Announcement: Photos and videos were all found via Google and YouTube. If any of them are yours and you would like a credit or for me to take them down please let me know.

 

“Why am I always so greedy? Wish I looked just like Cheryl Tweedy” October 1, 2014


Another Award? Most dangerous celebrity? I'll take it!

Another Award? Most dangerous celebrity? I’ll take it!

According to the security software company McAfee Cheryl Fernandez-Versini/ Cheryl Cole/ Cheryl Tweedy is the most dangerous celebrity on-line. Given the musical turds she plops out on a regular basis I’m not surprised. However the dangerous element apparently has nothing to do with her music but relates to the amount of viruses and malicious software that hackers put into links loaded with a Cheryl bait. This might be the offer of nude pictures, free video or free MP3 music files. Frankly anyone downloading her music, given that the taste police don’t really exist, deserves all they get. Those of you who have arrived here looking for that kind of thing will be sorely disappointed however I’m sure that feasting your eyes on Cheryl’s tattooed bum (that’ll be ass for my readers from across the big pond) will help you through that and enable you to exercise your right hand too. Incidentally does anyone in the US know who Cheryl is?

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Second and third on the list of the most dangerous celebrities were Daniel Radcliffe and Jessie J. All five members of Wand Erection are in the top 20 individually as well. Here is the top ten. Interestingly this blog once undertook an experiment about the woman at number 9, to study how many people arrived here after searching for Lily Allen Naked; there were thousands of you!

  1. Cheryl Cole
  2. Daniel Radcliffe
  3. Jessie J
  4. David Beckham
  5. Alesha Dixon
  6. Ellie Goulding
  7. Pixie Lott
  8. Harry Styles
  9. Lily Allen
  10. Rita Ora

Does it make her farts smell of flowers?

Does it make her farts smell of flowers?

 

“But most of all you are just absolutely booty-full” September 29, 2014

Filed under: Observation — justwilliam1959 @ 12:45 pm
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Whilst I have had far more hits to my blog than I ever could have imagined when I started it in 2009 I am under no illusion as to why people visit me. Predominantly it’s because they like a titillating picture; ideally of a naked celebrity, particularly Lilly Allen. More recently though thousands of visitors have come seeking images of J-Lo‘s bum. That translates as ass if you live across the big pond. Thanks to a link to my blog appearing on the Chilean entertainment site glamorama.cl there have been more than 10,000 Lopez bottom seekers this month. Since this blogs inception more than 2,500 of you have opened a picture of Lady Gaga’s arse and just this year alone nearly 2,000 have opened a pic of J-Lo’s arse

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Click here to read my original post regarding J-Lo‘s rear-end. I know that the main picture isn’t her, but when I searched for a picture that is what came up. It is in fact Jessica Burciaga. Anyway given the current interest in this, frankly, rather attractive part of J-Lo I simply had to post a link to the video for her new song “Booty” (featuring PitBull) didn’t I? Anyway I have no shame so if that is the kind of thing that brings you to my blog then that is spankingly good!

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Brit Awards 2014 – Wednesday February 19th 2014 February 19, 2014


brits 2014The Brits has kicked off well with a storming “R U Mine” from those Sheffield scallywags the Arctic Monkeys. Will it all go downhill from here? Let’s find out shall we? Well at least James Corden was finally on fire for the first time hosting this show. Well the sleeve of his jacket was to set up a lame joke about the Arctic Monkey‘s pyrotechnics. Thankfully this will be his last Brits. The British Female Brit award was presented the shortest man in music Prince Rogers Nelson accompanied by his new band. Corden interrupted for a selfie with the purple one. Ellie Goulding won it and given the nominees deservedly so in my opinion. She was somewhat awed by meeting Prince too.

Katy Perry was next on stage and she went a bit Stargate Cleopatra on us. She sang “Dark Horse” from her new album ‘Prism’. I presume it’s not a George Harrison tribute. Kylie and Pharrell Williams presented the International Male solo Artist award after more inane and unfunny shite from Corden. It was won by Bruno Mars; personally I expected it to go to Justin Timberlake although I would have voted for Eminem.

Tinie Tempah and Fearne Cotton rocked up to present the British Breakthrough Act Award. It was well won by the rather excellent Bastille. I love the ‘Bad Blood’ album. Sadly Corden was back after that with a dreadful interview with One Direction which included some pathetic jokes about Justin Bieber in prison. Then we were subjected to Bruno Mars with “Treasure”. But to be fair I judged him too soon, that was a good performance. Really classy modern R & B.

Next up a welcome return from Lily Allen to present the award for Best British Group. Thank fuck it wasn’t won by Wand Erection. It went to a proper band instead. The marvellous Arctic Monkeys. The previously known winner of the newcomer award was the understated but talented Sam Smith.

Now we have the Global Success Award presented by Rosie double-barreled surname. Who the fuck is she? Was this Award manufactured for the ultimate manufactured band One Direction? Can’t we just sell them to the USA? Is Harry Styles having a wee the most controversial act of this years show? Sadly it probably is. The revolution doesn’t start here!

Beyonce live, now that was bloody good in my opinion. But was she lip syncing “XO”? The nest award was for best British single, presented by Katy Perry. Was she trying an English accent? Won by the fabulous Rudimental which thankfully beat Olly Murs and Wand Erection.

The first collaboration of this years show was Disclosure and Lorde with a really cool and funky take on Lorde’s “Royals”. Followed by a brilliant live rendition of “White Noise” with Aluna. The International Group award was presented by Cesc Fabregas (WTF?) and Nicole Scherzinger. The winners were Daft Punk. Could it really have been anyone else? The legend that is Nile Rodgers collected the award on their behalf.

Ellie Goulding was next to perform. She did “I Need Your Love” and “Burn”. I loved the massed percussion during “Burn”. I have really grown to like Ellie’s music. Noel Gallagher was there to present the best male solo artist award. Let’s hope he has a new album out soon. Fuck me Bowie’s only gone and won it! Kate Moss accepted it on Bowie’s behalf at his personal behest. A brilliant speech written by the Dame too. This has made my night!

Nick Grimshaw that bloke from Radio One who is moderately more talented than Chris Moyles stepped up to present the International Female solo artist award. Lorde was the winner and a bloody good choice too.  Bowie is a Lorde fan. Then we had yet another shite interview by Corden with Nile Rodgers and Pharrell Williams. The British Video award was voted for live on Twitter during the show and was presented by Jimmy Carr. Sadly it was won by Wand Erection with “Best Song Ever”, but it isn’t is it?

Rudimental and Bastille combined on stage to become Bastimental for the night. It certainly made up for a second 1D award for the night. Blimey just how sexy is Ella Eyre? Now we are onto the final award of the night, it’s the one that everyone wants. It’s best album and it was presented by Emilie Sande. It went to the Arctic Monkeys. It is a great album, but I was hoping for a second Brit of the night for David Robert Jones. But well done to Alex and the boys, although their acceptance speech was largely bollocks wasn’t it?

The show was closed by Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers. What a barnstorming performance from two music masters. “Get Lucky”, “Good Times”, “Happy” the hits just kept coming. Overall I think this years show was an improvement on last year. Some marks out of ten from me; James Corden 1/10, Bowie winning a Brit 10/10 and for the overall show 5/10 could do better.

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“What else is in the teaches of peaches?” August 2, 2013


This is a public service announcement; if you are easily offended by the word FUCK then please read no further. You have been fucking warned ok!

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I usually listen to my iPod in shuffle mode when I walk from the car to the office every morning. It gives me a good ten minute blast of tunes before I start the day. This morning up popped Eamon with his UK number one from 2004 “Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back)” I believe that is the first UK number one to feature the F Word in its title. It even generated an answer song in response from Frankee. That was called “FURB (Fuck You Right Back)”. It got me thinking a few things first that FUCK is a rather good word when used in the right context isn’t it?

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The word has featured in plenty of songs; “Working Class Hero” from John Lennon and the MC5 introduced their storming live version of “Kick Out The Jams” with the line ‘kick out the jams motherfuckers!’ The word has perhaps been a little overused by rappers too. But secondly it got me thinking what are my favourite songs with the word fuck in the title. Here are my top choices (plus Eamon and Frankee’s efforts) what are yours?

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I Thought It Was Morning – Colour Me Wednesday – New Album review (July 2013) July 30, 2013


About 18 months ago I had the pleasure of interviewing a rather excellent band on this blog. (Click here to read that interview). Well now it’s time for drum rolls and fanfares because that band have an album out. That band is the splendiferous Colour Me Wednesday and their album is called ‘I Thought It Was Morning’. Earlier this evening, before I ordered my copies, I took a listen to the album as a stream on punk news. So I thought that you might like to know what I thought of this collection of 12 rather spiffing tunes.

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The LP kicks off with “Shut”; a perfect start with a quintessentially English rocker which talks about changing the world one person at a time. There really aren’t enough English bands that sing with an accent from Albion. “Holiday From Your Life” has an 80s feel and undertones of Orange Juice in a parallel universe where Edwyn Collins was female. Two tracks in and I’m loving it! This band writes great songs and forget all that X Factor shite, they play bloody well too. A cool reggae vibe is introduced for “Carefree” and it enables the song to jump from the speakers like Lily Allen with balls! So at three songs in it’s also pretty clear that the art of the protest song is alive and well in Uxbridge. Hopefully it will spread much further afield.

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The next song I have heard before and I believe that it will become one of my favourite Colour Me Wednesday songs. It’s the supremely titled “Unicorn In Uniform” and it’s the perfect Indie Pop Punk song. What a slow pulsing,  brooding song “Lost On The High Street” is. I love the bass line and the harmonies are exquisite. ‘I Feel Like I’m Running Out Of Melodies’ is the first line of “Bitter Boys” and frankly it’s obvious this band have melodies to spare.

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Halfway through and this album already feels like one that will get plenty of plays in my collection and one that deserves wide exposure. National Radio need to pick this up! “Don’t Waste Your Breath” is laid out over a really tight reggae bed which is far more the Clash than the Police thankfully. How true is the line ‘Life’s Too Short To Piss Away’? Very true methinks! If you’re a Tory Boy I wouldn’t invite Colour Me Wednesday to your barbecue, you’ll be met with the melodic pop punk of “(I’m Not Coming To Your) BBQ“. I love the way this band draw you into some very commercial sounding tunes that have amazing lyrical bite. “Cat Hair” is no exception to that. The writing on this album belies the fact that this is still a relatively young band.

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Perhaps my favourite title on this LP record is “You’re Not My No. 1 Bastard”. I think I’ll be singing that one tomorrow at work! Another song I have heard before and absolutely love is a song that ought to be high in the charts. It’s “Purge Your Inner Tory” and wouldn’t it be fun to see those mindless bigots at the Daily Mail get hot under the collar about such a great song? The album’s title track is also the closing song and it has the makings of a mini epic.

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This is a fabulous début album from a band that most certainly dares to be different. If you like formulaic pop pap don’t buy this album. But if you like great music with pop sensibility and a great punk attitude then you’d better bloody buy it! That’s an order ok and I’ll make it dead easy for you. Just click here to buy one, or more than one, of the many formats available. Then tell all your friends about this band and be safe in the knowledge that you knew them before they were mega big! I would like to wish Sam, Jen, Hat and Carmela stacks of success with this album. They are miles better than the Saturdays and the Sundays. They are more powerful than “Blue Monday”, they pack more emotion than “Everything’s Tuesday”, they give “Thursday’s Child” a run for it’s money and they make sure “Friday On My Mind” is no longer on my mind. They are not just your average day of the week, they are COLOUR ME WEDNESDAY!

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“I’ve seen all the frowns on the faces of the clowns” August 5, 2012


 

Regular readers will have noticed quite a few sports related posts on this blog recently, largely related to the London Olympics of course. However this is also a sports related post, but it doesn’t relate to the Olympics. I took part in the York 10 k Jane Tomlinson race this morning. Well I say race, but for me it was just a personal challenge. Many years ago I was doing two half marathons a year, many with my good friend Al Sloman. I also ran the 1986 London Marathon with Al, who is a blind runner. My last half marathon was in Wycombe in 1995 and I have now completed the York 10k three times. I did the Leeds 10k and Hull 10k last year too. Having done far less training than I had hoped and being somewhat porky at the moment I set myself a target of between 80 and 90 minutes. I was incredibly pleased to have finished with an official time of just over 68 minutes and I didn’t walk any of it! I also have a nice red t-shirt and a medal sponsored by the UK arm of Wal-Mart; Asda.

Howard Webb dresses for charity for the York 10K (or perhaps not!)

Clearly my performance wouldn’t have brought me even close to Mo Farah, but then I am considerably older than him! He probably had a better build up too. I arrived at the start at 8.20 (for a 9.00 start) with Catwoman, who was my chauffeur, coach and supporter for the day. I have a bladder that is smaller than a gnat’s eyeball so obviously I needed to empty it. The queue for the chemical portaloos was immense, but having joined it I wasn’t budging. So I was actually in full bladder emptying mode when the race started. But given I was always going to start with the less fast runners I still had plenty of time to join the slow pack. It took me 12 minutes from the starting whistle to cross the start line. Why was it a whistle and not a pistol? Well it was started by world-class football referee Howard Webb.

As is the norm the “Theme From Chariots Of Fire” was played before the race along with the British national anthem. Music can be inspirational so just how disappointed do you think I was when the PA was blasting out Cheryl Cole‘s “Fight For This Love” when I eventually crossed the start line. To make matters even worse that same slice of Cheryl’s special brand of crap pop was playing again! So as this is a music blog I will spare you anything by Cheryl and let you enjoy a few of running related songs and a song about Cheryl Cole née Tweedy.

 

 

 
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