With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music trivia, useless info, extra added random stuff and the odd rant from me

“Why am I always so greedy? Wish I looked just like Cheryl Tweedy” October 1, 2014


Another Award? Most dangerous celebrity? I'll take it!

Another Award? Most dangerous celebrity? I’ll take it!

According to the security software company McAfee Cheryl Fernandez-Versini/ Cheryl Cole/ Cheryl Tweedy is the most dangerous celebrity on-line. Given the musical turds she plops out on a regular basis I’m not surprised. However the dangerous element apparently has nothing to do with her music but relates to the amount of viruses and malicious software that hackers put into links loaded with a Cheryl bait. This might be the offer of nude pictures, free video or free MP3 music files. Frankly anyone downloading her music, given that the taste police don’t really exist, deserves all they get. Those of you who have arrived here looking for that kind of thing will be sorely disappointed however I’m sure that feasting your eyes on Cheryl’s tattooed bum (that’ll be ass for my readers from across the big pond) will help you through that and enable you to exercise your right hand too. Incidentally does anyone in the US know who Cheryl is?

cheryl-cole-tattoo-main

Second and third on the list of the most dangerous celebrities were Daniel Radcliffe and Jessie J. All five members of Wand Erection are in the top 20 individually as well. Here is the top ten. Interestingly this blog once undertook an experiment about the woman at number 9, to study how many people arrived here after searching for Lily Allen Naked; there were thousands of you!

  1. Cheryl Cole
  2. Daniel Radcliffe
  3. Jessie J
  4. David Beckham
  5. Alesha Dixon
  6. Ellie Goulding
  7. Pixie Lott
  8. Harry Styles
  9. Lily Allen
  10. Rita Ora

Does it make her farts smell of flowers?

Does it make her farts smell of flowers?

 

“I gave you the finger, you took me to dinner” November 12, 2013


Geri meets 3 of the 393 people that bought her new single

Geri meets 3 of the 393 people that bought her new single

Once upon a time she was one fifth of the pop world conquering Spice Girls who sold their songs by the Starship load. Nowadays Geri Halliwell a.k.a. Ginger Spice is selling barely enough CDs (ok I recognise that many are probably downloads these days) for one person to carry. Geri’s new single in Australia, “Half Of Me” sold just 393 copies in its first week. To be fair that is probably 392 more than perhaps a new Victoria Beckham single would sell.

Geri celbrates after the first six copies of her new single had been sold

Geri celebrates after the first six copies of her new single had been sold

Anyway it seems that Geri is taking it reasonably well. She decided not to perform the song on the Australia’s Got Talent Final TV show. Instead she performed a version of the Spice Girls first hit “Wannabe”. She admitted that deep down she was gutted. In contrast the Australian number one single, “Alive” by Aussie X Factor winner Dami Im sold 44,000 in the same period. Click here to read the story on the BBC.

Geri spends all the profits from the sales of her new single on a cab ride across the road

Geri spends all the profits from the sales of her new single on a cab ride across the road

It’s clearly a long way from those heady days of her early solo career where she achieved four UK number ones; “Mi Chico Latino“, “Lift Me Up”, “Bag It Up” and an atrocious cover version (in my opinion) of the Weather Girls disco classic “It’s Raining Men“. The latter was also number one in Belgium, France, Ireland and Italy. She has never had an Australian number one solo single though and with “Half Of Me” only making it to number 281 that seems unlikely to change.  Her biggest solo hit in the land down under was her first  single “Look At Me” which made it to number 3 in 1999. Should we start a campaign to have “Half Of Me” adopted as the anti X Factor Christmas number 1 in the UK this year? No I didn’t think you’d go for that either!

dami_im

 

“But to lose all my senses, that is just so typically me” October 31, 2013


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I’m sure that you couldn’t make this up could you? Anyway the Merchant Navy are using Britney Spears’ music to deter Somali sea Pirates. If the pirates fail to heed the warnings from security on board merchant ships off the African coast and continue to head towards them then Plan B is invoked. Or perhaps that should be Plan Britney. They pump out Britney’s biggest hits at full volume and miraculously the pirates usually turn away.

funny_britney_spears_(14)

The pirates supposedly hate western culture and music so the music of Britney is perfect. I suppose that using Bieber, Cheryl Cole or One Direction would be like using the nuclear option on the pirates. How stupid are these half-witted Jack Sparrows though? I mean have they never heard of ear plugs? Or maybe they could counter attack with the Barney the Dinosaur, Teletubbies or Mr Blobby themes. Click here to read the story on the Guardian’s web pages.

funny-britney-spears-face

 

Fascinating Aida – Grand Opera House, York – Wednesday 14th November 2012 November 18, 2012


Last Wednesday I went to see an act that has been around for thirty years. I had been conscious of them but never really aware of what they were. My interest was raised when my good friend John Williams (not the composer or the classical guitarist but a better bloke altogether) sent me a clip of this act from YouTube. I came close to wetting myself while watching it. The act was Fascinating Aida and that clip was for their excellent take on budget airlines “Cheap Flights“. If you have never seen them live or on-line the best way I could describe them would be a satirical, singing cabaret ensemble who are also bloody hilarious!

They kicked off their show with a superb song attacking the banking and big business fraternity which made an excellent acronym from their ‘Companies Using Nifty Taxation Schemes’ I’ll let you guess the actual acronym. They included their biggest internet hits; the aforementioned “Cheap Flights” and the not to be missed “Dogging”. You don’t know what dogging is? I suggest you ask your parents or maybe Stan Collymore.

The group managed to take a dig at so many people in such a short space of time including Tom Cruise, Pamela Anderson, U2, the Germans and many politicians to but a few. In fact their Belgian Song Cycle (at least I think that is what it was called) contained many of these put downs. As a result of that song cycle I will never be able to look at Cheryl Cole again without thinking ladyboy!

Their show is also very topical and referred amusingly to the austerity protests in Europe earlier in the week. These are three very talented women who I would like to thank very much for a hilarious evening out with Catwoman, Caron and John. So Dillie, Adele and Liza we loved your show and we would be delighted to see you again sometime. I would also advise any of my readers who have never seen Fascinating Aida on-line or in concert to check them out immediately!

 

“Got no self-esteem and vertigo” September 21, 2012

Filed under: News — justwilliam1959 @ 11:15 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

Robbie is in the news a lot lately isn’t he? Many of you know that I really don’t have much time for Mr Williams from Stoke. That will probably always stay true. However I would like to congratulate him on becoming a Dad and to wish him, his wife and little Theodora all the best. I am also really concerned that I really like his new song “Candy” which he co-wrote with Gary Barlow. I think I must be getting ill, there is no other explanation about why I would like this Robbie song surely. It is a bit of an earworm though.

But to counter all that Robbie has been doing the promo rounds for the new single and forthcoming album. On one breakfast TV appearance in the UK he apparently suggested that he would like a knighthood. I can only assume that this desire follows Gary Barlow’s recent royal award and promotion to national treasure. Will Robbie ever get that knighthood? probably! Will he ever be a proper national treasure? With Gary Barlow and Cheryl Cole are already in the role I seriously doubt it! What do you think?

And finally for the record I haven’t mellowed too much because I still believe that “Angels” ranks among one of the worst songs ever released!

 

“I’ve seen all the frowns on the faces of the clowns” August 5, 2012


 

Regular readers will have noticed quite a few sports related posts on this blog recently, largely related to the London Olympics of course. However this is also a sports related post, but it doesn’t relate to the Olympics. I took part in the York 10 k Jane Tomlinson race this morning. Well I say race, but for me it was just a personal challenge. Many years ago I was doing two half marathons a year, many with my good friend Al Sloman. I also ran the 1986 London Marathon with Al, who is a blind runner. My last half marathon was in Wycombe in 1995 and I have now completed the York 10k three times. I did the Leeds 10k and Hull 10k last year too. Having done far less training than I had hoped and being somewhat porky at the moment I set myself a target of between 80 and 90 minutes. I was incredibly pleased to have finished with an official time of just over 68 minutes and I didn’t walk any of it! I also have a nice red t-shirt and a medal sponsored by the UK arm of Wal-Mart; Asda.

Howard Webb dresses for charity for the York 10K (or perhaps not!)

Clearly my performance wouldn’t have brought me even close to Mo Farah, but then I am considerably older than him! He probably had a better build up too. I arrived at the start at 8.20 (for a 9.00 start) with Catwoman, who was my chauffeur, coach and supporter for the day. I have a bladder that is smaller than a gnat’s eyeball so obviously I needed to empty it. The queue for the chemical portaloos was immense, but having joined it I wasn’t budging. So I was actually in full bladder emptying mode when the race started. But given I was always going to start with the less fast runners I still had plenty of time to join the slow pack. It took me 12 minutes from the starting whistle to cross the start line. Why was it a whistle and not a pistol? Well it was started by world-class football referee Howard Webb.

As is the norm the “Theme From Chariots Of Fire” was played before the race along with the British national anthem. Music can be inspirational so just how disappointed do you think I was when the PA was blasting out Cheryl Cole‘s “Fight For This Love” when I eventually crossed the start line. To make matters even worse that same slice of Cheryl’s special brand of crap pop was playing again! So as this is a music blog I will spare you anything by Cheryl and let you enjoy a few of running related songs and a song about Cheryl Cole née Tweedy.

 

 

“Yet there’s still this appeal that we’ve kept through our lives” June 24, 2012


Many of you will already know that the NME celebrates its 60th birthday this year. It was first published in March of 1952, it was later that year that it also published the first ever UK singles chart based on sales. That was in November 1952 and featured Al Martino‘s “Here In My Heart” at number one.

As part of their birthday celebrations the NME has published a list of the top 100 songs since the paper has been around. I’m sure that there will be plenty of debate about what is in and what isn’t in the list. I was particularly surprised that there are no songs from the 50’s included. How about Elvis Presley’sHeartbreak Hotel” that was pretty damned ground breaking. Incidentally the spread of songs from the other periods are;

60s = 22

70s = 16

80s = 19

90s = 19

00s/ 10s = 24

Why not cast your vote in my favourite decade poll below 🙂

My favourite song of all time; Bob Marley’s “No Woman No Cry” reaches number 86 and Mr Bowie has “Space Oddity” at number 39 and another song in the top 5 (more of that one later). The Beatles have three entries in the top 100. Thankfully Westlife, Cheryl Cole and their ilk are nowhere to be seen in this list.

So without further ado and in traditional reverse order here is the top 5;

5 “Blue Monday” – New Order

4 “Good Vibrations” – Beach Boys

3 “”Heroes”” – David Bowie

2 “Common People” – Pulp

1 “Love Will Tear Us Apart” – Joy Division

If you’re interested click here to find the top 50 (I haven’t been able to find a site that shows the whole 100)

 

 
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