Did you know that John Lennon and Paul McCartney both had cats named Jesus? Nor did I. I wonder if the Beatles were more popular than both cats?
“Hey man save one chick for me” December 18, 2013
“Feet fail me not, this may be the only opportunity that I got” September 19, 2012
Regular readers will know that I took part in the world-famous Great North Run last Sunday. It is a half marathon (13.1 miles) which starts in Newcastle and finishes in South Shields. It was my first half marathon for 17 years so I wasn’t expecting a great time. I was part of a team of five and I am pleased to say that I came third in that little group with an official time of 2.44. But also big congratulations go to the rest of the team as well; Stuart O’Hara, Nick Cooper, Simon Downs and David Carline. In the overall race I was 35,301st, but I did still have a pulse at the end of the race and I have suffered no major aches or injuries. To my knowledge I was beaten by a the fridge man, a gingerbread man, a Scooby Doo (although I did beat another Scooby home) and Jesus. JC carried a heavy wooden cross for the whole run and gave me a rather disdainful look when I asked whether he was in fact Jesus or Brian.
The atmosphere and support were tremendous and perhaps the only negative was the heavy rain at the start. especially as it took me 50 minutes to actually reach the start line from when the gun went off. But there were somewhere in the region of 55, 000 entrants. A lot of our excellent Olympians and Paralympians were also there to offer support. In fact I was even able to high-five with the swimming superstar Ellie Simmonds and the magnificent Mobot himself, Mo Farah.
Up to now we have raised 83% of our target sponsorship for the Save The Children charity. So thank you to all of you who have contributed so far, but it’s not too late. Click here if you would like to donate. I also promise that this will be my last begging post for some time. So now for a special treat how about some appropriate songs?
“That’s great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane” May 21, 2011
I will try to make this a relatively short post, mostly because it may be the last one I ever do (shades of Bowie’s 1973 Ziggy retirement there don’t you think?). Why might this be my last post? Well today is rapture day of course. A day when 200 million Christian believers will be swept up to heaven, while the rest of us remain down here suffering a hell on earth, which will apparently end on October 21st. An 89 year-old US preacher, Harold Camping, has predicted that Jesus will return to earth at 11pm UK time today. He will apparently be accompanied by earthquakes that roll around the world. Click here to read about the atheist rapture parties in the US.
Personally I think this is complete crap, even more so given that Camping actually predicted the end of the world 17 years ago. But he says he wasn’t wrong and that his 1994 prediction was in fact a precursor to the main event. So rather than dwelling on delusional folks like him I thought I’d focus on what I think is a wonderfully amusing aspect of the whole story. it is said that only humans will be drawn up in the rapture, which means that all their pets will be left behind. But don’t fret pet lovers, there is a company called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets who will take care of your pets after you’ve caught the 11pm express service to heaven.
They operate in more than half the states in the US and will take care of your cats, dogs, small birds and small caged mammals for a bargain price of just $135 and an another $20 each for any additional pets that you have. Up to 250 people have already signed up even in the knowledge that no refunds are available. In four states they also offer the service for some larger animals such as horses. perhaps the best thing about this great deal is that it has a ten-year guarantee! So if Mr Camping is wrong again you still have ten years for him to get it right! How do they guarantee that post apocalyptic pet care? Well they guarantee that all their care teams are committed atheists, pet lovers and have no criminal record. Click here to check their website.
As I have said before this is a music blog so please enjoy the following songs before the end of the world. If my internet connection gets washed away with the rapture tonight I may not be able to post again, but I can promise you I will definitely still be on earth tomorrow đ






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