With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music trivia, useless info, extra added random stuff and the odd rant from me

“Thrill me, let your kisses thrill me just like you alone can do” February 2, 2011


PJ gets his trousers MOT'd

I read two music related stories in the news today and I thought that maybe we should put the two protagonists in touch with each other to resolve a problem for one of them. It would appear that 60s star PJ Proby has been in court to deny £47,000 of benefit fraud. The 72-year-old is alleged to have committed the fraud between 2002 and 2008. He was charged under his real name of James Marcus Smith and the case was adjourned. He is due back at Worcester Crown Court on 30th March. Maybe his trousers used to split on stage in the past because he hid all his money in them.

So who can help PJ? Well a certain Chris De Burgh is selling a large portion of his mostly red wine collection and is expected to raise in excess of £200,000. More than enough to help out poor old PJ for a few quid. Go on Chris, give PJ a call, he’d love to hear from you! Interestingly I wonder if the promotion of the wine sale will include a new version of Mr De Burgh’s biggest hit; “Lady In Red Wine” anyone?

Click here to read about PJ’s problems and here to read about Chris’ grape juice. Incidentally “Lady In Red” is undoubtedly one of my least favourite songs, along with almost anything from Robbie Williams and Boney M. But seeing as some of you might actually like the song, you can enjoy the video below.

 

“Pack his raincoat show him out” November 3, 2010


A balls up from the Met perhaps?

"You wanna use song titles in your evidence?" "You've got the gun, want me to play piano?"

A Metropolitan Police Firearms Officer has been suspended after giving evidence at the inquest into Mark Saunders. Saunders was a  Barrister who was killed by the police in May 2008 following a threatening standoff involving a shotgun at his Chelsea home.The suspension happened after it was discovered that he planted numerous song titles in his evidence. Among those songs were;

“No More Tears (Enough is Enough)” Donna Summer and Barbara Streisand

“Point of No Return” – Duran Duran

“Line of Fire” – Journey

“Faith”George Michael

“Quiet Moments” Chris De Burgh

“Kicking Myself” – As Tall As Lions

“Fuck My Old Boots” – Membranes

Now I have played this game, along with Bullshit Bingo at various meetings over the years, however I would not dream of doing anything like it in such a serious situation. Just what kind of idiot is this copper? To think that he is allowed to carry a gun too! You can read the story at the Guardian and the BBC.

I have played said game on at least two occasions. Firstly back in the 90s when I worked in the Finance team at a large Pharmaceutical company. We decided to see who could get the most Phil Collins solo titles into their working day. I didn’t win. The champion was Dave, who actually managed to get “Sussudio” into a conversation! How did he manage that? Well largely because he always struggled to pronounce the name of one of the director’s PAs, which was Cecilia. As I recall the conversation went something along the lines of “Has anyone seen Ce-Ce-Ce-Sussudio” I also realise that this does not look even remotely funny when you read it, but you really had to be there.

The second occasion was a little more planned and prepared. I was working in the project delivery team at a large electrical retailer in the UK back in 2000. Four of us decided that we were going to liven up our fortnightly status meeting with the IT Director by slipping as many Elton John song titles into the meeting as we could. We could only work from a pre agreed list of 25 songs. Apart from me the other participants were Kim, Phil and Frank. Phil bottled out and refused to take part and Frank was unwell, so that left just me and Kim. We both managed 11 each, however at the AOB stage of the meeting Irene the IT Director turned to Kim and said why do you have a list of what appears to be song titles in front of you and columns headed with four names. Basically Kim bottled it and simply said to Irene, it’s Elton John bingo and it’s all Bill’s idea. ( For the non regular readers I am Bill, but I’m not Spartacus, well not in this story anyway) As it happens I had resigned earlier that week so no punishment was forthcoming thankfully. There is a rather amusing footnote though, Irene the IT Director actually scored three points without even knowing she was playing. So for Kim an myself that meant that we were the winners but that Phil had effectively finished fourth out of three! Confused? probably!

I would love to hear your own stories of bullshit bingo experiences!

 

“Cause only two of you had dinner, I found your credit card receipt” January 16, 2010


I was reading the Guardian newspaper earlier today and chanced upon a rather amusing article about the music tastes of what many might consider the more evil of our world leaders. The article itself can be found by clicking here.

I thought he might have been more of a Master Of Puppets period Metallica fan

In a nutshell here are the favourite artists of our favourite despots, or as one Guardian headline put it; The Axes Of Evil

Osama Bin Laden – Whitney Houston. So why don’t we send Whitney to the badlands between Afghanistan and Pakistan and just ask her to sing “Saving All My Love For You” especially for Osama. He’d be in her arms faster than a cruise missile

Where's Osama? Just send Whitney! It's not right but it's ok

Robert Mugabe – Cliff Richard. Now here’s the thing, apparently at the Zimbabwe Independence Concert in 1980 Mugabe was disappointed that Bob Marley was chosen to headline, he considered him somewhat scruffy and allegedly would have preferred the more wholesome Cliff Richard. Clearly Mugabe wasn’t aware of Bob Marley’s tireless efforts to gain justice for Africa. However I’m sure Mr Marley would be sickened by what Mugabe has done subsequently. Here is Bob Marley singing “Zimbabwe” in Zimbabwe in 1980

She said son you be a dictator boy and make your enemies paaaay! (to the tune of Sir Cliff's "Bachelor Boy")

Colonel Gaddafi – Lionel Richie. I can now imagine the Colonel rocking around his tent to Lionel’s “Dancing On The Ceiling” or perhaps “Machine Gun” by the Commodores might be more appropriate

Judging from his body guards you'd think he might have preferred the Supremes or the Three Degrees

Nick Griffin – Kate Rusby. Clearly a very, very, very long way from being a world leader, but definitely a bigoted racist arsehole who is not as bright as he thinks he is. It is interesting that his choice of British Folk Music is perhaps the whitest form of music in the UK. However even the folkies have a Folk Against Facism Movement. So once again the racist thugs of the BNP get it wrong. Maybe we should organise a Political Celebrity Death Match between Nick Griffin and Robert Mugabe, in the hope that both might pop their clogs

Nick was devastated when he realised he couldn't play his records because they were black, if only he'd bought the special edition white vinyl versions. Still he could now agree with the majority of people in Britain, that he is indeed a complete tosser

Kim Jong-Il – Eric Clapton. I wonder when we will hear them say Kim Jong-Well or will he always be sick? I can now only ever picture Kim as his puppet in the wonderful ‘Team America’ movie. I wonder what his favourite Clapton song is?

Kim always liked to listen to a bit of Slowhand when he took time for a little "Slow Hand" of his own 😉

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – Chris De Burgh. A member of Dubya’s so called Axis Of Evil and potential owner of nuclear weapons. But frankly how can you take him seriously now you know he listens to that bloody awful “Lady In Red“?

Just one more dig at Lady In Red and I'll rip my wig off and shove it right where the nuclear reactors don't shine!

 

“Just cause she dance a go-go, don’t mean she’s a ho – no!” April 5, 2009


Hello once again peeps, no post yesterday as I was very busy stripping! Yes you heard me correctly. So why was I stripping you might well ask and who the hell would want to see me with my kit off anyway? If you have asked those questions or something similar then all I can say is….. how rude! I’ve been stripping paint from the windowsills and as the house was built in the 1880’s it seems like there is more than 100 years of accumulated paint on there, or at least there was. The amount of different colours has surprised me too; red, brown, yellow, green, black, cream and white were all spotted. It took an absolute age to get the old stuff off too, thank you to those nice people at Nitromors for their wonderful product ‘All Strip Mousse‘ I really don’t like DIY, but this stuff is great.

But enough of that, it’s not why we’re here after all is it? we’re here for music right? Well while I was stripping this weekend I was thinking of stripper songs, not songs to strip to, although you could to some of these. But songs that are or indeed could be loosely related to stripping. So here they are in no particular order;

The Stripper“- The David Rose Orchestra

Stripped” – Depeche Mode

Patricia The Stripper” – Chris De Burgh

I’m In Love With A Stripper” – T Pain

The Stripper Song” – Wyclef Jean featuring Hope

So before I give just a few trivia tidbits about these artists let me apologise to anyone who has arrived at this post looking for pictures of strippers, but stay and read a while, give your right arm a rest!

David Rose is probably most famous for his tune “The Stripper”, you know it I’m sure… da na na na, da na na na etc. Anyway he also wrote music for ‘Bonanza’ and ‘The Little House On The Prairie’ Also from 1941 to 1944 he was married to Judy Garland. Rose composed and recorded the tune in 1958, but it didn’t become a big hit until it was used in the film ‘Gypsy’ in 1962. Click here to see the wonderfully funny sketch of the late great (l’s and g’s reporting for strip duty!) Morecambe and Wise making breakfast to it, go on you’ll love it!

That's a bit risque for 1962. Still it might help the visitors to the blog who are currently resting their right hands ;-)

That's a bit risque for 1962. Still it might help the visitors to the blog who are currently resting their right hands 😉

Depeche Mode hail from Basildon in Essex in the UK and Vince Clarke was an original member before he went on to great success with Yazoo and Erasure amongst others. The remaining ‘Mode’ boys were pretty successful to, particularly in the US. Girl band the Saturdays took their version of Depeche Mode’s “Just Can’t Get Enough” into the charts earlier this year in aid of Comic Relief. There will be a new Depeche Mode album, ‘Sounds Of The Universe’ available in just a few weeks.

The Depeche boys swore that the first thing they would buy when this months royalty cheque arrived would be a new car

The Depeche boys swore that the first thing they would buy when this months royalty cheque arrived would be a new car

It would be fair to say that Chris De Burgh’s “Lady In Red” is one of my least favourite songs, perhaps because I’ve played it so many times as a mobile DJ. So I won’t talk about it here! As for “Patricia The Stripper” that was on Chris’ 1975 album “Spanish Trains And Other Stories”. There is also a song of the same title, but not the same song, on the Wombats album ‘The Wombats Proudly Present: A Guide To Love, Loss And Desperation’

He looks a bit cross doesn't he?

He looks a bit cross doesn't he?

T-Pain or Faheem Rasheed Najm as he is known to his folks started his rap career in the group the Nappy Headz. He currently resides on Akon’s label Konvict Muzik. He was injured in a Golf Cart accident last month and had to have emergency dental work after losing four teeth. “I’m In Love With A Stripper” also features Mike Jones.

T-Pain nearly strangled himself trying to complete the Bling version of Cat's Cradle

T-Pain nearly strangled himself trying to complete the Bling version of Cat's Cradle

Wyclef Jean is Haitian and is also a Rastafarian. He continues to do an awful lot to support the less privileged in Haiti, setting up a trust fund after the devastation caused by Hurricane Jeanne in 2005. He first came to fame as a member of the rather excellent Fugees, who remain one of my favourite bands and one I’d certainly like to see reform too.

Wyclef thought that no-one was watching when he let one rip

Wyclef thought that no-one was watching when he let one rip

And finally the first stripper I ever saw as a relatively innocent 17 year old danced to a brilliant reggae version of the Curtis Mayfield song “Gypsy Woman” by Milton Henry. In your view what is the ideal stripper song?

 

 
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