If indeed Justin Bieber has retired, and I for one really hope he has, it nows seems clear what he will do in his retirement. He intends to become an egg thrower if current press stories are to be believed. The young Pop Muppet has been accused of throwing eggs at his neighbour’s house. I wonder why he did this; is it because his thoughts are a little scrambled, is his brain fried, did he buy his monkey or was it poached, has he simply shelled out too much or is the yolk on him. Can anyone answer these eggstraordinary questions? Click here to read the story on the BBC’sNewsbeat website.
I have been a lazy blogger over the past few weeks for various reasons, so for that I would like to apologise to my regular readers. Although to be fair many of you may have enjoyed the respite. Anyway I hope to be taking plenty of servings of Blogger Bran to make me a more regular poster. Todays post is essentially an open letter/ job application to Jim Henson.
I have loved the Muppets ever since the Muppet Show first appeared on UK TV back in the late 70s. My favourite characters initially were Kermit, Robin, Beaker and Animal. More recently, perhaps with age and wisdom it has become Waldorf & Stadtler and Sam the American Bald Eagle. When I started losing my hair a number of my friends likened me to Sam. Which to me has become a badge of honour.
Anyway let me explain why I am writing to you about employment. I started work in 1975 and since 1997 I have been a Programme/ Project Manager. I won’t outline the intricate detail of what I do for a living as I am sure you would be asleep after the first sentence. I feel that I have much of the right experience to work within your organisation. Mostly as I have worked with some real Muppets, particularly over the past 16 years. People with a complete lack of common sense (or any sense in some cases) and people who seem to be operated by a Muppeteer or at the very least must be controlled by having someone’s hand up their rear end.
I would be happy to offer my cv/ resume on request but I would also be keen to discuss opportunities with you. I would love to start at the bottom of the ladder, perhaps with a small part in the next Muppet movie. Just for the record I prefer to work without someone’s clenched hand inserted anywhere on my person.
I look forward to speaking to you and in the meantime I will be returning to the corporate world of Muppets tomorrow
Bill – A Man not a Muppet
NOTE – not everyone I have worked with is a Muppet, those of you who are not Muppets will know that. Those of you that are Muppets probably won’t know!
Just a few random things heading your way for this post. Let’s start with the sale of an iconic item of Michael Jackson’s clothing, it’s the jacket that he wore in the “Thriller” video. It sold recently for £1.1m in an auction in Beverley Hills. It was bought by an US Commodities Trader who plans to use it to raise money for children’s charities. Given the many allegations made against Jacko the use of his old clothes in that way does seem somewhat appropriate, doesn’t it? Click here to read the story on the BBC.
Lady Gaga is being sued in the USA for allegedly pocketing far more money than is appropriate in the sale of her Japan Earthquake Relief wristbands. The lawsuit, in which she is being sued for more than £3m, alleges that the wristbands are sold for $5 each and include shipping and tax costs meaning less than 10% would reach its beneficiaries. But obviously we don’t know how much of the detail Gaga herself is aware of, so watch this space and click here to read the story on the NME site.
Madonna will soon feature in a comic in the US. It will be in Bluewater Productions ‘Female Force’ series of comics. It’s hardly Batman or the Fantastic Four is it? Even more so when you consider that some of the other women to have featured to date are; Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin and Margaret Thatcher. I suppose that the latter two could almost pass as super villains though. Even though I have a large collection of comics I think it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be buying the Amazing Adventures Of Madge.
To coincide with the release of the new Muppets movie later this year a number of rock acts have recorded cover versions of many Muppet numbers. Amy Lee off of Evanescence has recorded one of my favourite Muppet songs, “Halfway Down The Stairs” originally sung by Kermit’s nephew Robin. Weezer and Hayley Williams off of Paramore have covered “Rainbow Connection”. Other artists recording songs for the album are; Alkaline Trio, My Morning Jacket, Airborne Toxic Event and OK Go.
It's a tragedy that Gaga has not been allowed to record a Muppet song, especially after she murdered so many of Kermit's relatives to make her dress.
Did you see any of the Glasto coverage? I thought the BBC did a great job with it, although I didn’t see the Wombles anywhere! As for the headliners; I thought U2 were ok, Coldplay were bloody good and Beyoncé was truly amazing. She even managed to cover Eurythmics, Alanis Morrisette, Prince and the Kings Of Leon. despite the rumours that her man Jay Z would join her on stage, he didn’t, but she did a rather interesting duet with Tricky. My main thought as I watched her was how little talent the likes of Cheryl Cole actually have.
I’m loving the new Eminem video for “Space Bound”, what do you think of it? It does contain the usual element of controversy from Mr Mathers. This time gun related. But I really believe the man is on top form.
Gaga just get's everywhere doesn't she?
And finally would you like your girlfriend, wife or partner to wear knickers with a picture of Thom Yorke on them? personally I wouldn’t, but if you’re that way inclined you can actually buy them. Has anyone reading this purchased any of them? Click here to see for yourself.
OK people after last year you know exactly how to stop the X Factor winner making it to the UK number one spot over Christmas this year. Last time around pop muppet Joe McElderry was beaten to the Christmas number one by the brilliant “Killing In The Name Of” by Rage Against The Machine. This year there is another opportunity to prevent the X Factor lording over the charts once again.
This time it is going to be ” 4’33” ” a recreation of John Cage’s most famous avant-garde work. Well ok Emperor’s New Clothes time here, it is in fact 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence. This may sound somewhat mental, however by downloading the piece you will be helping a number of charities including, Calm, a service for young men at risk of suicide, the British Tinnitus Association, Youth Music, Nordoff RobbinsMusic Therapy and Sound & Music, a charity promoting challenging new music and sound art. On top of that you will dent the next X Factor Muppets progress.
If only he'd been clearer about his wish. He hadn't really wished for a 12 inch pianist had he?
Many artists have participated by errr….. recording their silence. Those include; Fyfe Dangerfield off of the Guillemots, Unkle’s James Lavelle, Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip, some Kooks, Heaven 17, Matty off of the Infadels, Suggs off of Madness, Orbital, Pendulum and Billy Bragg. Pete Doherty apparently failed to turn up. Read the story here on the BBC News site. Join the Facebook campaign here and let’s make Cage Against The Machine the Christmas Number One this year!
By the way, I realise there is no real title to this post, but what did you expect?