With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music trivia, useless info, extra added random stuff and the odd rant from me

“Keep on believing what you read in the papers council estate kids, scum of the earth” April 8, 2012


I posted back in January about the lack of protest songs given the precarious state of the world, you can click here to read that post. It appears that I may have been heard. Firstly there was Bruce Springsteen with the sublime “We Take Care of Our Own”. This is a song that I suspect (as with “Born In The USA”) many American politicians simply won’t understand. I can see it being misused on the campaign trail later this year by one of the bozo Republican candidates.

But perhaps more importantly for me, Plan B’s new song, “Ill Manors” is an incendiary attack on the way youth is being treated in Britain today. I totally admire and respect that he has used his position, following his success with “The Defamation Of Strickland Banks“, to release such an incredibly passionate and hard-hitting song about the plight of the young and the underprivileged people in the UK. It’s a brilliant attack on the government too and if it’s not clear what he thinks of ‘Call Me Dave’ Cameron in the lyrics, it’s very clear in the video.

The song is likely to be featured in Plan B’s new film which is due to be released later this year, it is also called ‘Ill Manors’. This is easily my favourite song of the moment and I believe it is deserving are far more radio plays than it is getting. Check out the video below, along with the Springsteen video and a rather amusing posh boy spoof of Ill Manors entitled “Posh Manor”. I have also added the lyrics to “Ill Manors” to the end of this post. I would love to hear what you think of these songs, particularly Plan B’s (aka Benjamin Paul Ballance-Drew or Ben Drew) .

Let’s all go on an urban safari
we might see some illegal migrants
Oi look there’s a chav,
that means council housed and violent
He’s got a hoodie on give him a hug,
on second thoughts don’t you don’t wanna get mugged
Oh shit too late that was kinda dumb
whose idea was that…stupid…
He’s got some front, ain’t we all,
be the joker, play the fool
What’s politics, ain’t it all
smoke and mirrors, April fools
All year round, all in all
just another brick in the wall
Get away with murder in the schools
use four letter swear words coz we’re cool
We’re all drinkers, drug takers
every single one of us burns the herb
Keep on believing what you read in the papers
council estate kids, scum of the earth
Think you know how life on a council estate is,
from everything you’ve ever read about it or heard,
Well it’s all true, so stay where you’re safest
there’s no need to step foot out the burbs
Truth is here, we’re all disturbed
we cheat and lie its so absurd
Feed the fear that’s what we’ve learned
Fuel the fire,
Let it burn.

Oi! I said Oi!

What you looking at you little rich boy!
We’re poor round here, run home and lock your door
don’t come round here no more, you could get robbed for
Real (yeah) because my manors ill
My manors ill
For real
Yeah you know my manors ill, my manors ill!

You could get lost in this concrete jungle
new builds keep springing up outta nowhere
Take the wrong turn down a one way junction
find yourself in the hood nobody goes there
We got an eco friendly government,
they preserve our natural habitat
Built an entire Olympic village
around where we live without pulling down any flats
Give us free money and we don’t pay any tax
NHS healthcare, yes please many thanks
People get stabbed round here there’s many shanks
nice knowing someone’s got our backs when we get attacked
Don’t bloody give me that
I’ll lose my temper
Who closed down the community centre?
I kill time there used to be a member,
what will I do now until September?
Schools out, rules out, get your bloody tools out
London’s burning, I predict a riot
Fall in fall out
who knows what it’s all about
What did that chief say? Something bout the kaisers
Kids on the street no they never miss a beat, never miss a cheap
thrill when it comes their way
Lets go looting
no not Luton,
the high street’s closer cover your face
And if we see any rich kids on the way we’ll make ’em wish they stayed inside
here’s a charge for congestion, everybody’s gotta pay
do what Boris does… rob them blind

Oi! I said Oi!
What you looking at you little rich boy?
We’re poor round here, run home and lock your door!
Don’t come round here no more, you could get robbed for
real (yeah) because my manors ill

My manors ill
for real
yeah you know my manors ill , my manors ill!

 

“I’m gonna paint you by numbers and colour you in” aka The Brit Awards 2012 (February 21st) February 22, 2012


It’s that time of year again, the annual celebration and all round back slap of the UK music industry that is the Brits. There are 46 nominees this year including Adele who comes to the party already the proud owner of six Grammys. In a slight departure from my live typing last year I am doing this from the recording of the show. This meant I was able to spend a great night with Catwoman and some of our best friends and their lovely daughter Amelia. (Incidentally if you’d like to read the blog I write monthly for Amelia just click here)

So on with the show. A great and bombastic opener, “Charlie” from Coldplay. As with last year the event is presented by James Corden. The little clips introducing the best album nominees began with Adele’s ’21’ which is appropriately enough the best-selling album in the UK so far this century. As expected there was a film montage in memory of Whitney Houston which preceded the live appearance of Florence and the Machine. I am always blown away by that girl’s voice and tonight was no exception with a superb performance of “No Light No Light”. She seemed encased in a white light prison at one point. A prism prison if you will!

The first award was for Best British Female, presented by the beautifully proportioned Kylie Minogue. Whilst I would have liked to have seen Kate Bush win it there was really no surprise to see Adele be announced as a very worthy winner. She gave a really amusing acceptance speech including suggesting that she felt like a drag queen next to Kylie. The Best International Male award was presented by Jessie J and Jack Whitehall (who the fuck is he?) The winner was Bruno Mars with a bouffant hair do that seemed to add about a foot to his stature. His thank you speech was probably the blandest and least controversial there has ever been at the Brits.

The next live act was Olly Murs with the Rizzle Kicks. This is a real dilemma for me, I love the Rizzle Kicks but Olly Murs voice makes me want to eat my cats vomit with a side order of fresh road kill. It was a big dance production of Olly’s “My Heart Skips A Beat” including an attempt at Murs robotic dancing. At least his Mum and Simon Cowell would be proud of him.

The Critics Choice award went to Emeli Sande and was known in advance, this was given to the wonderful Jessie J last year. Mr Ed Sheerhan was the next turn to take to the stage with a wonderfully sparse version of his superb song “Lego House”. Just how good was that? The next award was for Best British Single presented by the immensely talented Tinie Tempah. Sadly the winner was the rather insipid attempt at anthemic; “What Makes You Beautiful” from X Factor Pop Muppets One Direction. Did they get dressed in a James Bond costume shop?

Jenson Button was chosen to present the award for International Female, not for his musical talents presumably. Still he’d make a better James Bond than One Direction, probably a better singer too. The award went to Rihanna, possibly one of the sexiest women on the planet in my opinion. To make up spectacularly for Olly Murs Noel Gallagher appeared with his High Flying Birds with the stupendous “AKA What A Life” with Chris Martin off of Coldplay on keyboards. I think it’s now very clear that Noel was and is the more talented Gallagher brother.

Next was a tribute to Amy Winehouse. Quite fittingly interspersing some of her brilliant songs with some great interview clips all shown in black and white. Losing Whitney was very sad but losing Amy was a tragedy. Best British Male was the next gong and it was presented by the sharp dressed and edgy Plan B. The award went to Ed Sheerhan who has now ditched the green T Shirt for a suit and tie.

Huey Morgan and Jo Whiley presented the Best British Group award. This one has been taken home by Coldplay twice before (in 2001 and 2003) and this year they make it a third. It was voted for by BBC Radio Two listeners. A really sincere acceptance speech though. James Corden then interviewed, very briefly, Kylie Minogue. He really should stick to his day job! The stage was owned by Adele for the next live performance, a storming “Rolling In The Deep”. She looked stunning, I wonder if that pretentious twat Karl Lagerfeld was watching.

The International Group award was presented by two of the remaining members of Queen, Brian May and Roger Taylor. The Foo Fighters were very worthy winners and were the first recipients of the evening not able to be there to collect their award. They did supply a great little video clip though. Nicole Scherzinger was joined by none other than musical superstar, sorry I meant football superstar Cesc Fabregas to present the Best Breakthrough act award. It was the second of the night for Ed Sheerhan. An interesting acceptance speech, apparently his manager could do with a new sofa.

Bruno Mars performed “Just The Way You Are” dressed like a tuxedoed James Bond lookalike. Except that the hair is probably an explosive secret weapon presented to this pint-sized warbler by Bond Boffin Q. Then we had another awkward Corden interview, this time with the prepubescent One Direction. A bizarre pairing of Rob Brydon and Will.i.Am presented the Best International Breakthrough act which unsurprisingly went to the talented and somewhat astral Lana Del Ray. She also won the award for blubbiest acceptance speech of the night, but I do love her album.

“We Found Love” from Rihanna was a live performance to be reckoned with. Only she could make a kind of painters smock sexy whilst performing in front of a gang of dancing painter decorators. Her hair had grown immeasurably from her earlier appearance. Has she taken the same follicle elixir as Bruno Mars or was it just a really classy syrup?

Finally it came to Ray Winstone to present the Outstanding Contribution To Music Award to Blur aka Graham, Dave , Alex and Damon. Next was the MasterCard British Album of the year award, presented by the man with talent oozing out of his pockets, George Michael. This had Adele’s name on it months ago didn’t it? That girl will need a bigger shelf for all these awards. How the fuck did they end up curtailing her acceptance speech in such an abrupt way.

Blur were on stage to close the show kicking off their set with “Girls And Boys” and then appropriately “Song 2”. They were then joined on stage by Phil Daniels for a great rendition of “Parklife” Sadly that is where the TV coverage ended, I would love to have seen the whole set from Blur. I hear that they finished off with “Tender” and “This Is A Low”, but somehow I imagine this was quite a high for them!

 

“They think they’ll get to heaven through the universe” – Brit Awards 2011 February 15, 2011


So this years Brits have undergone yet another revamp and moved to the O2 Arena as well. It is now designed to build up to a finale of the announcement of the Best British Album, with each nominee introducing their album in little vignettes throughout the show. I guess it’s based around the Oscars where the whole spectacle concludes with the Best Film Awards. Even the actual award has had a makeover too, thanks to Vivienne Westwood. With Viv involved it seems weird that the Brits effectively started at the height of punk and it was all black ties and very formal and Cliff Richard was the winner of Best British Male Vocalist, oh how times have changed, well mostly anyway.

The show was kicked off by Take That with “Kidz”. I hate to say it but even with Robbie back in the ranks I quite like them. The performance was good and the boys were surrounded by riot police dancers who stripped at the end. Maybe there’s a lesson for the police the next time they are called out to student protests. But did anyone else think that a couple of the ‘That were wearing incontinence pants?

Hosted by James Corden, personally I’m not sure about that choice I have never really found him either funny or exciting. First award was for Best British Male presented by Dizzee Rascal, last years winner, to Plan B. Now that was a good choice, the ‘Defamation Of Strickland Banks’ is a killer album.

Another live performance came next, it was the abundantly talented Adele, boy that girl has got a superb voice. She sang “Someone Like You” accompanied just by a pianist. It’s hard to believe that she is so young. Now that’s what you call real singing, are you listening Cheryl Cole? It was a brilliant example of how talented a lone singer can be, but did they have to shower her with all that silver snow/ confetti?

Now that interlude of James Corden speaking to Justin Bieber was weird. James telling Justin how wonderful he smelled. Is that grooming? (Yes I know you could read that two ways!) It was left to Fearne Cotton presenting the Best British Breakthrough Artist award to take that awful scene out of my mind. The winner was Tinie Tempah, apparently Prince Harry and Prince William are fans!

International Album was presented by none other than German Musical Superstar………..errrr Boris Becker. Anyone for Tennis? It was justly won by Arcade Fire with ‘The Suburbs’. They gave a fantastic name check to British acts; Clash, Bowie, Culture Club, New Order, Depeche Mode.

And now we have Rihanna who started her medley set from behind what could have been a giant shower curtain or giant grass skirt. The hair matched the dress, but did the collar match the cuffs? 😉 We came close to finding out as she removed the dress pretty damned quickly! Maybe not everything but the kitchen sink, but Burundi style drummers and wait……. was that the Olympic flame? Oh and another thing, now that’s what you call real dancing, are you watching Cheryl Cole?

Mark Ronson was there to present the Critics Choice Award, was he dressed like an Accountant or was it just me? I don’t mean that I was dressed like an Accountant, obviously! Don’t you think his hair was like a ski slope? Well even more obviously no surprise that the winner was Jessie J, as this was one of the awards that was announced some while in advance of the ceremony itself. The fourth woman to win that award and she didn’t blub….. but only just!

One of the nominees for best album were the next band on stage, it was Mumford And Sons. It’s no wonder they’re so big in America is it? They look like hicks and hillbillies; mind you they were bloody good at the Reading Festival last year. Who wears cowboy hats or truckers caps in this country, which just puts my flat cap to shame really!

To present the International Male Award we had yet another musical superstar; Lewis Hamilton…..errrr how many albums has he had then? The award gave Cee Lo Green his first ever Brit. Now that’s a big “Fuck You” to all the previous voters, they won’t “Forget You” next time Cee Lo. A brilliant choice in my opinion. He gave a great shout to Boy George too. Nice to see all the Johnny Foreigners thanking the Brits this time around. I’m not xenophobic ok, I’m just an archetypal arrogant Brit! Well actually I’m not really, I am a Brit but I don’t think I’m arrogant or even archetypal, although I’m sure some might disagree!

What was the Best British Single then, it was presented by Alan Carr, is it me or does his voice really grate on you? It was also voted for by fans, so that should mean a good choice right? Well it was a good choice, it was Tinie Tempah with “Pass Out” It could have been so much worse with all those X Factor related nominees.

What the F*ck am I doing here?

Two blokes off of Duran Duran presented the Best International Group award to the magnificent Arcade Fire. What can one say? Flipping heck another good choice, this revamp has done wonders for giving the right people the awards too.

Plan B was the next live performer. Show stopping set and dancing, a tight band. It was like a modern version of the old Motown or Stax Revues. Were those Police left over from the Take That performance? Of course they were, the Riot Squad were there again. It’s one thing infiltrating eco-activists, but this level of police intrusion is so far beyond subtle it’s off the bloody scale! What about the dude that was set aflame? Was that a tribute to the recently deceased Johnny Storm aka the Human Torch off of the Fantastic Four? Check out issue number 587 of the World’s Greatest Comic magazine for more info on that one people!

Avril Lavigne and Will Young combined to present the next award, now that is a novel but strange pairing. It was International Breakthrough Act and was won by Justin Bieber, well I suppose it couldn’t all go my way could it. Still at least it wasn’t the Glee Cast was it? Still the boy done good bearing in mind he is not quite seventeen yet.

Best British Female Solo award was present by Georg O’Dowd aka Boy George, isn’t it about time he upgraded to Man George? Deservedly won by the beautiful talent that is Laura Marling. She was followed by a brilliant performance from Arcade Fire with “Ready To Start”. Are these guys one of the best bands on the planet right now? I think so and it always looks like they’re really enjoying themselves too.

Now that’s what I call presenting an award, are you watching Cheryl Cole? Ooops no you’re not, you’re actually presenting the damned thing for Best International Female. It went to Cheryl’s ‘Girl Crush’ (hmmmm interesting in a pervy kind of way); Rihanna in a big white dress with roses….. they grow on you!

Tinie Tempah took to the stage next and frankly he did it like he owned the thing. Great performance and bloody good laser show to boot. The stage was full of Tinie lookalikes, how about a spoofed version of Eminem, anyone for ‘The Real Tinie Tempah’? This dude is a really top bloke in my humble opinion. Move over Mr Rascal and make way for Mr Tempah. Are the organisers of the Reading Festival watching? How about Tinie Tempah on the afternoon bill on the Main Stage Saturday or Sunday, it’s worked well for Dizzee before hasn’t it?

Dermot O’Leary off of the X Factor (amongst Others) no less was on hand to present the Award for Best British Group. It went to Take That. It pains me to say that with their current album I actually like some music that Robbie is involved in. I must be ill in the head. Robbie was his usual nonsensical arse with just a couple of shouts of ‘Shabba’ thankfully leaving the other boys to do most of the talking and thanking.

So then came the grand finale the Best British Album Award, presented by Rock God Roger Daltrey off of the Who. He said that he thought that Plan B’s set had made him reminisce of the early days of the Who,(was he serious?) but sadly the award didn’t go to him, it went to Mumford And Sons, still not a bad choice.

The show was closed by the mighty, magnificent Cee Lo Green with “Forget You”. A great tune but I kind of wish he had done the original ‘naughty’ version! A great singer none the less. So that is as they say it for this years Brits. I will be back with other posts before the 2012 Brits so feel free to keep reading my blog now that you’ve found you’re way here. I bet you’re relieved that I have got to the end of a whole post with no mention of Lady Gaga……….DOH!

The good, the bad and the untalented!

 

“She’s Lois Lane, but when it’s bad it’s awful” January 3, 2011


So here we all are in a new year once again. It seems hard to believe that we are now 11 years into the current century and that I have now lived in seven different decades. But then as my Nan once said to me, old age is always 10 years older than you are. So I take this to mean that as long as it’s not my name in the Guinness Book Of Records as the oldest person on the planet then I will never be old, will I? Obviously I’m only saying all this because I turned 52 on January 1st and birthdays make you think of age, longevity, life and stuff don’t they?

Rihanna longed for a deeper bath

Anyway enough drivel about me let’s take a quick look at the best-selling UK albums and singles for 2010. Rihanna has performed amazingly well with one entry in the album top 5 and two in the singles. It was also good to see the X Factor single failing to make the top spot in the end of year sales chart.

I assume that the one in the front next to Gary is Robbie

Top UK albums of 2010

  1. Progress – Take That
  2. Crazy Love – Michael Buble
  3. The Fame – Lady Gaga
  4. Loud – Rihanna
  5. The Defamation of Strickland Banks – Plan B

Worldwide album sales have Lady Gaga at number one with ‘The Fame’, followed by Eminem with ‘Recovery’ in  the number 2 slot.

It looks like Matt is very much a thigh man

Top UK singles of 2010

  1. Love The Way You Lie – Eminem ft Rihanna
  2. When We Collide – Matt Cardle
  3. Just The Way You Are (Amazing) – Bruno Mars
  4. Only Girl (In The World) – Rihanna
  5. OMG – Usher ft Will I Am

To see the more extensive lists click here for the Official Chart Company site.

 

 
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