With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

This post has a very loose transport theme based on a few news stories that I have read over the last couple of weeks. They all relate to a slightly different form of transport too. There are cars (well a lack of them actually), Tube Trains, Buses, a ship and balloons! is that last one just me being full of hot air? Well read on to find out is what I would suggest.

Parker chauffers Lady Penelope and in breach of parliamentary rules presumably her box as well!

Firstly in a very admirable move David Cameron has banned the use of chauffeur driven cars by MPs, ministers have been told that they must use second class rail travel. Well at least they will learn how bad the rail services actually are, like us normal people who use trains almost every day. However it has become it a bit of a farce as instructions are that for security reasons MPs red boxes must travel in a separate car. When some MPs asked if they were allowed to travel with their boxes they were denied. Perhaps Dangerous Dave should get his bag carrier Naughty Nick to carry the boxes. Read all about it in this article from the Guardian

“Cars” – Gary Numan (He could have just as easily fitted into an aeroplane story too)

Nelson looks down on his ship as it takes to the bottle

Next up we have a ship, not just any ship but actually a model of Admiral Nelson’s HMS Victory. But not just any model either, it’s actually in a bottle. But not just any bottle, it’s actually a giant bottle. It’s not on any old mantlepiece either, it’s actually on the fourth plinth at Trafalgar Square. Not just any Trafalgar Square though, well actually it is just the old Trafalgar Square. It is a piece of art by artist Yinka Shonibare. It is a scale model of HMS Victory which uses African fabric for its sails. Read all about it here in another article from the Guardian.

“Ships In The Night” – Be Bop Deluxe (a band led by the appropriately named Bill Nelson)

The new Routemaster, partly designed by Aston Martin. So more James Bond than Reg Varney then!

Thirdly there is the rather excellent news that those bloody awful bendy buses are being phased out in London. They’re being replaced by a new version of the classic Routemaster bus which for me was always a true London symbol. It has been designed by architect Sir Norman Foster and Aston Martin, what a superb combination that is! Does this prove that Boris Johnson actually has some redeeming features? Probably not and definitely not if you’re a Liverpudlian. Read all about it here in an article in the Guardi……….. ok in the interests of impartiality read about it in this article in the Mail OnLine, the newspaper that is more right wing than the BNP. (Well just because I’m trying to be impartial doesn’t mean I have to like it.

“(Are You Ready) Do The Bus Stop” – Fatback Band (It has to be 30 years since I last heard this, what a top tune!)

Jonathan Trappe had said to his wife that he was just popping out

Finally Jonathan Trappe crossed the English Channel in a chair carried by masses of balloons. Apparently this is called cluster ballooning. He flew from Kent and eventually landed in a cabbage patch in France. The whole thing is very reminiscent of the wonderful Disney Pixar movie ‘Up’. Well I suppose it beat’s beardy Branson and all his hot air and balloon escapades. But it made me wonder, what about all the dudes who sell helium balloons in shopping precincts at weekends and in school holidays, do they wear divers boots or something? Read all about it here in an article from the Times (see I’m still doing the impartial stuff)

“My Beautiful Balloon” – Nancy Sinatra (Just how camp are the dancers in this video?)

And let’s end with a song that sums all this up, it’s Sandie Shaw with Burt Bacharach and Hal David’s “Trains And Boats And Planes”