With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music reviews, gig reviews, fun trivia and extra added random stuff!

Mayhem’s Before They Were Famous #9 – Simon Le Bon January 15, 2025

Filed under: Before They Were Famous — justwilliam1959 @ 11:15 pm
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Before he became a mega successful front man for Duran Duran, Simon Le Bon was a child actor. He appeared in a Persil TV advert in the UK. Maybe the band should have cashed in on that and changed some of their song titles. How about “Persil Earth”, “Is There Something I Should Wash”, “Hungry Like The Wash”, “The Wash Boys”, “A Wash To A Kill” or “Ordinary Wash”.

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On This Day Coldplay Proved That Mainstream Music Was In Need Of Defibrillation! April 2, 2024

Filed under: On This Day — justwilliam1959 @ 10:10 pm
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On 2nd April 2013 BBC Radio 2 closed a series called The Golden Age Of The Album with a show that ran down the top 100 albums of all time as voted for by their listeners. Having read through the top 100 it looks like only one album per artist was allowed. But for me Coldplay coming top with ‘A Rush Of Blood To The Head’ shows how bland music had become, I am not a huge Coldplay fan, but in my opinion that isn’t even their best album. Keane’s ‘Hopes And Fears’ has some good songs but it is very middle of the road. As for Duran Duran’s ‘Rio’. where did that come from? It is an OK 80s album but by no means a classic. The usual suspects in these lists are all there Pink Floyd (4), Rolling Stones (6), The Beatles (8), Kate Bush (24), David Bowie (61) and many more. I suspect that the list probably said more about the age profile of Radio 2 listeners at the time. But David Bowie is included for ‘Let’s Dance’, come on the 80s was his artistic nadir wasn’t it? Dido’s ‘No Angel’ number 4, that is such a dull record, as is David Gray’s entry at number 67 with ‘White Ladder’. I know that many of these sold loads of copies, but do sales make a great record? Anyway, you might not agree with my thoughts and opinions, but I would love to hear yours. The full list is shown below.

1 Coldplay – A Rush Of Blood To The Head
2 Keane – Hopes & Fears
3 Duran Duran – Rio
4 Pink Floyd – The Dark Side Of The Moon
5 Dido – No Angel
6 The Rolling Stones – Sticky Fingers
7 Pet Shop Boys – Actually
8 The Beatles – Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
9 U2 – The Joshua Tree
10 Queen – A Night At The Opera
11 Fleetwood Mac – Rumours
12 Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin IV
13 The Police – Synchronicity
14 Madonna – True Blue
15 James Blunt – Back To Bedlam
16 Bruce Springsteen – Born To Run
17 Adele – 21
18 Oasis – Definitely Maybe
19 Simon & Garfunkel – Bridge Over Troubled Water
20 George Michael – Faith
21 Dire Straits – Brothers In Arms
22 Electric Light Orchestra – Out Of The Blue
23 Meat Loaf – Bat Out Of Hell
24 Kate Bush – The Kick Inside
25 Kylie Minogue – Fever
26 Bob Dylan – Blonde on Blonde
27 Michael Jackson – Thriller
28 Paul Simon – Graceland
29 Billy Joel – An Innocent Man
30 Kinks – The Kinks
31 Guns N Roses – Appetite For Destruction
32 Pulp – Different Class
33 The Beach Boys – Pet Sounds
34 Stevie Wonder – Songs In The Key of Life
35 Take That – Beautiful World
36 Blondie – Parallel Lines
37 ABBA – Arrival
38 Prince – Purple Rain
39 The Eagles – Hotel California
40 The Human League – Dare
41 Supertramp – Breakfast In America
42 R.E.M. – Automatic For The People
43 Wings – Band On The Run
44 Amy Winehouse – Back To Black
45 Joni Mitchell – Blue
46 Bon Jovi – Slippery When Wet
47 Elton John – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
48 Robbie Williams – I’ve Been Expecting You
49 Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On
50 Neil Young – Harvest
51 Carole King – Tapestry
52 The Verve – Urban Hymns
53 Celine Dion – Falling Into You
54 The Who – Tommy
55 Donna Summer – Bad Girls
56 George Harrison – All Things Must Pass
57 Maroon 5 – Songs About Jane
58 Bob Marley & The Wailers – Exodus
59 Donald Fagen – The Nightfly
60 Gerry Rafferty – City To City
61 David Bowie – Let’s Dance
62 Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young – Déjà Vu
63 Elvis Costello – My Aim Is True
64 Roxy Music – Flesh and Blood
65 Steely Dan – Can’t Buy A Thrill
66 Culture Club – Colour By Numbers
67 David Gray – White Ladder
68 Bryan Adams – Reckless
69 Neil Diamond – Beautiful Noise
70 Phil Collins – Face Value
71 Genesis – Invisible Touch
72 Barbra Streisand – Guilty
73 Frank Sinatra – Songs for Swingin’ Lovers!
74 Simply Red – Stars
75 Van Morrison – Avalon Sunset
76 Rod Stewart – Atlantic Crossing
77 Sade – Diamond Life
78 Buddy Holly & The Crickets – The Chirping Crickets
79 Whitney Houston – Whitney Houston
80 Michael Bublé – Crazy Love
81 Shania Twain – Come On Over
82 Emeli Sandé – Our Version Of Events
83 Elvis Presley – Moody Blue
84 Bee Gees – Spirits Having Flown
85 Eric Clapton – Slowhand
86 The Pretenders – The Pretenders
87 Eurythmics – Be Yourself Tonight
88 The Carpenters – A Song For You
89 John Lennon – Double Fantasy
90 Don McLean – American Pie
91 Chic – C’est Chic
92 Aretha Franklin – Lady Soul
93 Daryl Hall & John Oates – Private Eyes
94 Earth, Wind & Fire – I Am
95 The Doobie Brothers – Minute by Minute
96 Lionel Richie – Can’t Slow Down
97 Diana Ross – Diana
98 Paul McCartney – Pipes Of Peace
99 Dionne Warwick – Heartbreaker
100 Cee Lo Green – The Lady Killer

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Play It Again Mayhem – “Skin Trade” – Duran Duran August 21, 2022

Filed under: Play It Again Mayhem — justwilliam1959 @ 5:19 pm
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This is the fourteenth song in the Play It Again Mayhem series which began back in 2020. Check out the previous entries along with this new one in the Play It Again Mayhem Spotify Playlist, click here to take a listen! This one is from the 1980s, 1987 to be precise, it is “Skin Trade”, Duran Duran’s 15th single. The song is taken from their 1986 album ‘Notorious’, their fourth, which was co-produced with Nile Rodgers. It always baffled me that the single only reached number 22 in the UK. I was never a huge Duran Duran fan, but for me, this is by far their best single. You even get Le Bon singing in falsetto and according to him he was channelling Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stone’s 1980 UK top ten hit “Emotional Rescue”. What do you think of this track?

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Mike Garson’s “A Bowie Celebration… Just For One Day” – Saturday January 9th 2021 January 19, 2021


I have watched a few streamed shows since this awful pandemic kicked in and like many of us I don’t believe that this type of show can ever replace real gigs. But for now this is all we have so let’s use it. As a huge Bowie fan for nearly 50 years I was obviously looking forward to this show. It was curated by the Dame’s long term piano man Mike Garson and included a wonderful range of Bowie alumni and a stack of special guests performing songs (around 40) from across the Starman’s career. It was an “as live” stream but incredibly well put together. The behind the scenes crew deserve a huge round of applause, they clearly did an amazing job, which in turn helped to provide us punters with three hours of classy Bowie themed entertainment.

First up was Duran Duran with their version of the ‘Ziggy Stardust’ album opener “Five Years”, I have never been a huge fan of Simon Le Bon’s voice, but this was a staggeringly good version of an iconic song. Duran Duran really pulled this off with aplomb. Lzzy Hale off of Halestorm was aided and abetted by Tony award winning actress and singer Lena Hall for a wonderfully theatrical cover of “Moonage Daydream”, very much a star performance from Lzzy and Lena. I have been a Smashing Pumpkins fan for many years, so I was looking forward to Billy Corgan’s piano led take on “Space Oddity”. But I felt it wasn’t a great performance, I am really not sure that Billy’s voice suited the song in this setting. Sorry Mr Corgan! Perry Farrell took on “The Man Who Sold The World” partnered by his wife Etty Lau Farrell and it was a perfect spine tingling take on one of Bowie’s finest tunes. Next there was a bluesy run through a somewhat deep cut, “Bring Me The Disco King” by Anna Calvi. This was originally a track released as a part of 2003’s ‘Reality’ album. Regular readers will know that I am not a fan of Take That’s Gary Barlow, so I cringed a little when I saw his name on the list. But to be very honest the boy did good. Barlow didn’t choose an easy option and went with 1975’s “Fame”. A real Five Star performance from Mr Barlow.

Living Colour’s Corey Glover was spot on with his gorgeous run through of “Young Americans”. This was followed by one of my favourite songs from that period, “Can You Hear Me” performed by the obscenely talented Gail Ann Dorsey who played in Bowie’s band for many years. “Sweet Thing/ Candidate/ Sweet Thing (Reprise)” is a tough song to cover but Bernard Fowler, highly regarded backing vocalist who has supplied backing vox to the Stones among many others didn’t just cover the song, he owned it and frankly, blew me away. Possibly my favourite performance of the whole event. Charlie Sexton, a man who has played with an incredible number of music luminaries appeared next with a funky work out of the 1983 classic “Let’s Dance” the first of four songs by him on the night. Judith Hill, a woman who has worked with Michael Jackson, Prince and John Legend to name just a few was next with a haunting rendition of “Lady Stardust” backed by some beautiful piano from Mike Garson. “Changes” as reimagined by Macy Gray was epic, where have you been Macy, the world needs you. Kevin Armstrong who worked with Bowie in the 80s played a rather excellent version of the Mick Ronson arrangement of Richard Rodgers’ “Slaughter On Tenth Avenue” which was dedicated by Mike Garson, to the memory of Ronson, Bowie and all Bowie alumni that have passed away.

Jazz Singer Catherine Russell sang an arrangement of “Conversation Piece” from the ‘Space Oddity’ album that was completely unrecognisable from the original and for me that made it a perfect cover version, I loved it! Next up was the return of Charlie Sexton with a Stones style take on Bowie’s Stones pastiche “Rebel Rebel”. This is one of my favourite songs from Bowie and Sexton did a great job with it. Def Leppard’s Joe Elliot was on board for two songs and I was a little surprised at his first one, “Win” from 1975’s ‘Young Americans’ album. Surprised but definitely not disappointed, Joe’s voice was immaculate and accompanied by the kind of piano heaven we have come to expect from Mike Garson. For the second song in his brace of Bowie Joe Elliott rocked hard through a powerful performance of “Ziggy Stardust”. Taylor Momsen frontwoman of the Pretty Reckless had a film to accompany her rendition of one of my favourite Bowie songs, especially lyrically, “Quicksand”. She really did the Dame proud it was quite moving at times and I love the subtle touches of her film, and to finish having written Bowie’s name in the sand was special indeed. Charlie Sexton returned for two more songs “DJ” and “Blue Jean”. Both of them fine performances and in fact the latter has moved me to reappraise my view of Bowie’s 80s output which is in my opinion mostly his low point artistically. But on this evidence, perhaps “Blue Jean” isn’t so bad after all. I saw Michael C Hall in the lead role of Thomas Jerome Newton in the Bowie musical ‘Lazarus’ in London in 2016, he was rather wonderful in that and his incredibly moving version of “Where Are We Now” here was wonderful too.

Foo Fighter’s drummer Taylor Hawkins, ably supported by Dave Navarro played a lively and rambunctious “Rock ‘N’ Roll Suicide”. This segued into Corey Taylor doing “Hang On To Yourself” aided and abetted by Dave Navarro, Taylor Hawkins and Chris Chaney. But that segue included a nice little romp through “Little Fat Man” from Bowie’s appearance in Ricky Gervais’ ‘Extras’. Actor Gary Oldman was next accompanied by Mike Garson’s eloquent ivories for “I Can’t Read”. I liked that a lot! Jesse Malin’s “Jean Genie” really was top drawer, he aced it. The return of Gail Ann Dorsey brought with it a touchingly sublime take on “Srangers When We Meet”. The show then rocked out wildly with Peter Frampton on “Suffragette City” duties. This was followed by a brace of songs by a great friend and sometime collaborator of Bowie, Trent Reznor supported by Atticus Roos for “Fantastic Voyage” and “Fashion”. “Fantastic Voyage” which was never played often by Bowie was pretty darned good. Ian Astbury tackle “Lazarus”, he did well and put a lot of emotion into it, but I would also liked to have seen Ian tackle something more rock based, even a Tin Machine track maybe. YUNGBLUD poured his very essence into “Life On Mars” and it payed off in dividends, legendary keyboard player Rick Wakeman supported Mr BLUD. Long time Bowie fan Boy George was on top form for his medley of “Lady Grinning Soul”, “Time” and “Aladdin Sane (1913-1938-197?)”. Mr O’Dowd, great respect from me, you nailed it. I was particularly looking forward to Ian Hunter’s performance and I wasn’t disappointed. He kicked off with his Bowie tribute “Dandy” and finished, obviously, with my favourite Bowie song ever, “All The Young Dudes”. I have never been much of a fan of Adam Lambert but there is no denying that he really did “Starman” well, perhaps enough to make me an Adam Lambert fan, time will tell. Judith Hill returned to support Andra Day as they cranked up “Under Pressure” into something even more anthemic than Bowie and Queen managed originally. Bernard Fowler closed proceedings with a highly charged “Heroes” which included some rather excellent drumming from Nandi Bushell.

The credits rolled with a rather decent “Ashes To Ashes” instrumental. Let us not forget the great band members and Bowie alumni that performed throughout the event too, Mike Garson especially, thank you for putting this together Mr Garson. Other band members throughout the evening, that I haven’t already mentioned, were, I think, Guitar: Earl Slick, Gerry Leonard and Carlos Alomar Bass: Carmine Rojas, Mark Plati, Tony Visconti, Tony Levin, Emir Kasan, Erdal Kizcilcay Keyboards: Richard Cottle, Henry Hey; Drums: Alan Childs, Zach Alford, Sterling Campbell, Matt Chamberlain, Omar Hakim, Mark Guiliana, John Lousteau, Gregg Errico, Andy Newark; Backing vocals: Gaby Moreno, Everett Bradley, Robin Clark, Emm Gryner, Ava Cherry, Simon Westbrook; Percussion: Pablo Rosario; Sax: David Sanborn, Clare Hirst, Stan Harrison. I am sure I have missed some names, but thank you to one and all this was a very special event and Mr Bowie would have loved it!

All the photos and videos were found online. If they are yours and you would like a credit or want them taken down please let me know

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“What about elephants? Have we lost their trust?” August 5, 2014


Irrational-Killers-fan-meme-the-killers-25047452-400-346Weird lyrics are great aren’t they? Often they might be confused with crap lyrics I suppose. Such as Thin Lizzy’s “Jailbreak” contains the line ‘tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak somewhere in this town’. Somewhere? Obviously it will be at the jail won’t it? That for me is a crap lyric. A weird lyric for me comes from Haircut 100’s “Love Plus One” as in ‘where do we go from here, is it down to the lake I fear’. Then of course this little gem from Pharrell William’s wonderful song “Happy”; ‘Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof’. Anyway, maybe there is a very thin line between weird and crap, what do you think? Online music company Blinkbox Music recently undertook a survey to find out the weirdest lyrics. They asked 2,000 people for their opinion and the resulting top 10 weird lyrics were;

  1. The Killers – “Human”- ‘Are we human, or are we dancer?’
  2. The Beatles – “I Am The Walrus”- ‘I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob.’
  3. Michael Jackson – “Earth Song”- ‘What about elephants? Have we lost their trust?’
  4. Lionel Richie – “All Night Long”- ‘Tom bo li de se de moi ya, yeah jambo jambo.’
  5. Carly Rae Jepsen – “Call Me Maybe”- ‘Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad.’
  6. Black Eyed Peas – “Boom Boom Pow”- ‘Beats so big I’m stepping on leprechauns.’
  7. Duran Duran – “The Reflex”- ‘The reflex is an only child, he’s waiting in the park.’
  8. Wham! – “Club Tropicana”- ‘Club Tropicana, drinks are free, fun and sunshine, there’s enough for everyone, all that’s missing is the sea.’
  9. Taylor Swift – “Love Story” -’Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter, and my daddy said stay away from Juliet.’
  10. Oasis – “Champagne Supernova”- ‘Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.

memes-killed-itFeel free to add your own weird lyric suggestions to the comments section on this post and then vote in the poll below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASbug4J4kIg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWAdb1vgoik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxcfcuUcBHw

 

 

 

“Can you ignore my faith in everything?” October 20, 2013


Clarke Peters-JLG-000350

Did you know that one of the backing vocalists on Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel‘s only UK number one was Clarke Peters who played Lester Freamon in the Wire?The song in question is “Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me)” which reached the top of the UK charts  in 1975. The song also reached number one in Ireland and Australia. The lyrics are in fact a vitriolic attack on former band members who Harley felt had abandoned Cockney Rebel. The song is still one of my favourites although I would recommend never listening to Duran Duran’s cover version. In my opinion they murdered it!

 

“There’s a fine line drawing my senses together and I think it’s about to break” November 2, 2012


Does anyone fancy some stuffed Anaconda? Really? Well it’s quite mature, maybe 120 years and will only set you back £10,000. That’s a bargain if I ever saw one. Anyway I’m not talking about some strange delicacy to be eaten, I’m referring to Albert the stuffed Anaconda who lives in the Ansel Library at the Foreign Office in London. Well, when I say lives I really mean that he is hung from the wall. He has been dead for some time. He’s not just resting, he is indeed and ex Anaconda.

Albert was a gift to the Foreign and Commonwealth Office some time in the late 1800s after he had received the full services of a taxidermist. Albert was allegedly presented by a bishop, in what is now Guyana, to the Colonial Secretary sometime in the 19th Century. As such he is in fact a Foreign Office asset and therefore need to be maintained. This news came to light following a request by the Guido Fawkes website via the Freedom of Information Act.

In my opinion this money could easily have been spent somewhere else and Albert could have been scrapped, buried or given a seat in parliament. I find it incredible that in these times of austerity so much money could have been spent on a dead snake! We are living in a time where budgets are constricted with venom and politicians are rattled! Did the cabinet hold a COBRA meeting? What do you think of stuffed Albert? Could we not have made a few pairs of shoes for the homeless from Albert’s skin or bailed out our local Greek kebab shop?

Click here to read the story of Albert on the BBC. Of course this is a music blog so please enjoy a few snake related songs;

Ignore the scumbag at the start of this next clip

 

“You can take my name but you’ll never take my heart” October 6, 2012


It is now 50 years since the first James bond filmDr No‘ hit the screens and the new one, ‘Skyfall‘ is due out very soon. This means that there is all the usual interest in the new Bond theme. This time it is the turn of Adele. As is the case with most Bond movie themes the title is the film title; “Skyfall”. I think that this song is a grower. It’s probably never going to be my favourite Bond theme, but it is a long way from being the worst. My least favourite is “View To A Kill” from Duran Duran and my favourite is Carly Simon with “Nobody Does It Better“. What do you think of Adele’s “Skyfall” and what is your favourite and least favourite Bond theme?

 

“We make out in your Mustang to Radiohead” November 30, 2011


Katy does the garden........ shearly not?

I’m sure that you’ve heard Katy Perry’s new single “The One That Got Away” which is clearly yet another slice of perfect perry pop and a great radio song. But what intrigues me about it is the line about making out in the lyrics. It reads ‘We make out in your Mustang to Radiohead’. Firstly we get Katy Perry mentioning Radiohead, which I feel makes for quite strange bedfellows. Secondly, does anyone actually make out to Radiohead? I love the band but they wouldn’t be my choice for a sultry, seductive night in with Catwoman! I would prefer a bit of Marvin Gaye’s ‘Let’s Get It On’ album.

Having listened to the song again though it got me thinking about some of my favourite songs that mention bands or singers. You can enjoy five of them below. Let me know what your favourite songs that mention other artists are;

“Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa” – Vampire Weekend – mentions Peter Gabriel

“Destroy Rock n Roll” – Mylo – mentions a cast of thousands including Michael Jackson, Prince, Bruce Springsteen, Tina Turner, David Bowie, Van Halen, Madonna, Huey Lewis and the News, The Cars, Herbie Hancock, Bonnie Tyler, Stevie Nicks, Men at Work, ZZ Top, Paul McCartney, Weird Al Yankovic, Cyndi Lauper, Pink Floyd, Pretenders, Billy Joel, Billy Idol, Elton John, Neil Young, Sheena Easton, Patty Smyth and Scandal, Fashion, Big Country, Morris Day and The Time, John Lennon, Apollonia 6, REO Speedwagon, David Gilmour, Rolling Stones, Pat Benatar, Hall and Oates, Wham!, Rebbie Jackson, Adam Ant, Bananarama, Christine McVie, Queen, John Cougar Mellencamp, U2, Fleetwood Mac, The Alan Parsons Project, Rick Springfield, Thompson Twins, Missing Persons, Duran Duran, Police, Eurythmics, Culture Club, Boy George, Band Aid, Stevie Wonder and Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

“White Man In The Hammersmith Palais” – The Clash – mentions Dillinger, Leroy Smart, Delroy Wilson, Ken Boothe and the Four Tops.

“God” – John Lennon – mentions Elvis and the Beatles

“Punky Reggae Party” – Bob Marley and the Wailers – mentions the Wailers, Maytals, Damned, Jam, Dr Feelgood and the Clash

“All The Young Dudes” – Mott The Hoople – mentions T Rex and is easily my favourite song that mentions other bands or artists.

 

“They think they’ll get to heaven through the universe” – Brit Awards 2011 February 15, 2011


So this years Brits have undergone yet another revamp and moved to the O2 Arena as well. It is now designed to build up to a finale of the announcement of the Best British Album, with each nominee introducing their album in little vignettes throughout the show. I guess it’s based around the Oscars where the whole spectacle concludes with the Best Film Awards. Even the actual award has had a makeover too, thanks to Vivienne Westwood. With Viv involved it seems weird that the Brits effectively started at the height of punk and it was all black ties and very formal and Cliff Richard was the winner of Best British Male Vocalist, oh how times have changed, well mostly anyway.

The show was kicked off by Take That with “Kidz”. I hate to say it but even with Robbie back in the ranks I quite like them. The performance was good and the boys were surrounded by riot police dancers who stripped at the end. Maybe there’s a lesson for the police the next time they are called out to student protests. But did anyone else think that a couple of the ‘That were wearing incontinence pants?

Hosted by James Corden, personally I’m not sure about that choice I have never really found him either funny or exciting. First award was for Best British Male presented by Dizzee Rascal, last years winner, to Plan B. Now that was a good choice, the ‘Defamation Of Strickland Banks’ is a killer album.

Another live performance came next, it was the abundantly talented Adele, boy that girl has got a superb voice. She sang “Someone Like You” accompanied just by a pianist. It’s hard to believe that she is so young. Now that’s what you call real singing, are you listening Cheryl Cole? It was a brilliant example of how talented a lone singer can be, but did they have to shower her with all that silver snow/ confetti?

Now that interlude of James Corden speaking to Justin Bieber was weird. James telling Justin how wonderful he smelled. Is that grooming? (Yes I know you could read that two ways!) It was left to Fearne Cotton presenting the Best British Breakthrough Artist award to take that awful scene out of my mind. The winner was Tinie Tempah, apparently Prince Harry and Prince William are fans!

International Album was presented by none other than German Musical Superstar………..errrr Boris Becker. Anyone for Tennis? It was justly won by Arcade Fire with ‘The Suburbs’. They gave a fantastic name check to British acts; Clash, Bowie, Culture Club, New Order, Depeche Mode.

And now we have Rihanna who started her medley set from behind what could have been a giant shower curtain or giant grass skirt. The hair matched the dress, but did the collar match the cuffs? 😉 We came close to finding out as she removed the dress pretty damned quickly! Maybe not everything but the kitchen sink, but Burundi style drummers and wait……. was that the Olympic flame? Oh and another thing, now that’s what you call real dancing, are you watching Cheryl Cole?

Mark Ronson was there to present the Critics Choice Award, was he dressed like an Accountant or was it just me? I don’t mean that I was dressed like an Accountant, obviously! Don’t you think his hair was like a ski slope? Well even more obviously no surprise that the winner was Jessie J, as this was one of the awards that was announced some while in advance of the ceremony itself. The fourth woman to win that award and she didn’t blub….. but only just!

One of the nominees for best album were the next band on stage, it was Mumford And Sons. It’s no wonder they’re so big in America is it? They look like hicks and hillbillies; mind you they were bloody good at the Reading Festival last year. Who wears cowboy hats or truckers caps in this country, which just puts my flat cap to shame really!

To present the International Male Award we had yet another musical superstar; Lewis Hamilton…..errrr how many albums has he had then? The award gave Cee Lo Green his first ever Brit. Now that’s a big “Fuck You” to all the previous voters, they won’t “Forget You” next time Cee Lo. A brilliant choice in my opinion. He gave a great shout to Boy George too. Nice to see all the Johnny Foreigners thanking the Brits this time around. I’m not xenophobic ok, I’m just an archetypal arrogant Brit! Well actually I’m not really, I am a Brit but I don’t think I’m arrogant or even archetypal, although I’m sure some might disagree!

What was the Best British Single then, it was presented by Alan Carr, is it me or does his voice really grate on you? It was also voted for by fans, so that should mean a good choice right? Well it was a good choice, it was Tinie Tempah with “Pass Out” It could have been so much worse with all those X Factor related nominees.

What the F*ck am I doing here?

Two blokes off of Duran Duran presented the Best International Group award to the magnificent Arcade Fire. What can one say? Flipping heck another good choice, this revamp has done wonders for giving the right people the awards too.

Plan B was the next live performer. Show stopping set and dancing, a tight band. It was like a modern version of the old Motown or Stax Revues. Were those Police left over from the Take That performance? Of course they were, the Riot Squad were there again. It’s one thing infiltrating eco-activists, but this level of police intrusion is so far beyond subtle it’s off the bloody scale! What about the dude that was set aflame? Was that a tribute to the recently deceased Johnny Storm aka the Human Torch off of the Fantastic Four? Check out issue number 587 of the World’s Greatest Comic magazine for more info on that one people!

Avril Lavigne and Will Young combined to present the next award, now that is a novel but strange pairing. It was International Breakthrough Act and was won by Justin Bieber, well I suppose it couldn’t all go my way could it. Still at least it wasn’t the Glee Cast was it? Still the boy done good bearing in mind he is not quite seventeen yet.

Best British Female Solo award was present by Georg O’Dowd aka Boy George, isn’t it about time he upgraded to Man George? Deservedly won by the beautiful talent that is Laura Marling. She was followed by a brilliant performance from Arcade Fire with “Ready To Start”. Are these guys one of the best bands on the planet right now? I think so and it always looks like they’re really enjoying themselves too.

Now that’s what I call presenting an award, are you watching Cheryl Cole? Ooops no you’re not, you’re actually presenting the damned thing for Best International Female. It went to Cheryl’s ‘Girl Crush’ (hmmmm interesting in a pervy kind of way); Rihanna in a big white dress with roses….. they grow on you!

Tinie Tempah took to the stage next and frankly he did it like he owned the thing. Great performance and bloody good laser show to boot. The stage was full of Tinie lookalikes, how about a spoofed version of Eminem, anyone for ‘The Real Tinie Tempah’? This dude is a really top bloke in my humble opinion. Move over Mr Rascal and make way for Mr Tempah. Are the organisers of the Reading Festival watching? How about Tinie Tempah on the afternoon bill on the Main Stage Saturday or Sunday, it’s worked well for Dizzee before hasn’t it?

Dermot O’Leary off of the X Factor (amongst Others) no less was on hand to present the Award for Best British Group. It went to Take That. It pains me to say that with their current album I actually like some music that Robbie is involved in. I must be ill in the head. Robbie was his usual nonsensical arse with just a couple of shouts of ‘Shabba’ thankfully leaving the other boys to do most of the talking and thanking.

So then came the grand finale the Best British Album Award, presented by Rock God Roger Daltrey off of the Who. He said that he thought that Plan B’s set had made him reminisce of the early days of the Who,(was he serious?) but sadly the award didn’t go to him, it went to Mumford And Sons, still not a bad choice.

The show was closed by the mighty, magnificent Cee Lo Green with “Forget You”. A great tune but I kind of wish he had done the original ‘naughty’ version! A great singer none the less. So that is as they say it for this years Brits. I will be back with other posts before the 2012 Brits so feel free to keep reading my blog now that you’ve found you’re way here. I bet you’re relieved that I have got to the end of a whole post with no mention of Lady Gaga……….DOH!

The good, the bad and the untalented!