With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music reviews, gig reviews, fun trivia and extra added random stuff!

“Einstein can’t be classed as witless, he claimed atoms were the littlest” November 24, 2010


This will be another short post, I promise. Largely because I have imbibed a few units of alcohol while watching a rather dull Champions League game (Glasgow Rangers versus Manchester United) with some new work colleagues in London. Anyway after travelling back to my hotel in the Old Kent Road (yes that’s one of the cheap brown ones on the Monopoly board) I switched on the TV to catch the BBC news. As expected the main coverage was the student protests in London. Click here to read the story

Now as I have said before I very much support the actions of the UK students although I do not condone the violence and damage to property that a rogue element seem to perpetrate. Anyway there was a rather funny clip shown where at the height of the protests, while some idiots were trashing a police van. Why was it funny? Well largely because the young lady interviewed on camera shouted her protest at the government, it was something along the lines of “they will be charging us £9,000 a year, for three years, that’s £21,000” Forgive me for being cynical but that young person really does need an education in basic arithmetic, doesn’t she?

OK amusement over, let’s get back to some music and for today I thought I’d go for a couple of slightly appropriate songs from the late and very definitely great Mister Ian Dury! Ladies, gentlemen and those of you with both bits, please enjoy “There Ain’t Half Been Some Clever Bastards” and “Clever Trevor” Also as many of todays protesters were in fact school kids I thought that you might also like Alice Cooper‘s classic “School’s Out” from 1972 and performed here on the Beebs sadly missed Top Of The Pops show.

 

“The Charts? Legit. Either work hard or you might as well quit” October 26, 2010


This post comes with a strong health warning attached, it contains some seriously CRAP songs!

Last month the AOL Radio Blog published their list of the 100 Worst Songs Ever, obviously this has caused a massive amount of debate. It is all based on opinion after all and there are definitely some entries I don’t agree with. Personally I would have liked to have seen many of Robbie Williams’ songs in there. Click here to see the whole list and if you can’t be bothered I have repeated the top 10 below. I would love to know what your worst songs ever are too? Use the comments function to let me and all the other readers know your choices.

1 “(It’s Time To) Beat Dat Beat” DJ Pauly D – I must confess until I came upon this list I had never heard of this song. Basically this guy seems to be a product of the ‘Jersey Shore’ TV show from the US. Well let’s face it, TV spin offs are often rubbish aren’t they and this is no exception, although I’m not sure it should be in the top ten, there are far worse songs out there. Just picture Anita Dobson singing “Anyone Can Fall In Love” to the Eastenders theme tune or Nick Berry (also off of Eastenders) with “Every Loser Wins“. I wonder what Brian May thought of Anita’s song?

2 “Who Let The Dogs Out?” Baha Men – I certainly agree with this one being in the list, I really dislike this song. Apparently when Victoria Beckham aka Posh Spice went into the players lounge at Old Trafford on one occasion when Goldenballs was still at Manchester United she and her entourage sang this to Jordan who was there because she was dating Andy Cole at the time. I’m not sure what Jordan responded with, but perhaps a mention of the fact that Posh Victoria is the only Spice Girl that has never had a solo number one in the UK would have been good!

3 “Ice Ice BabyVanilla Ice– So Ice always claimed that the bass line in this awful song was never ripped off from Bowie and Queen’s “Under Pressure”, does he think we’re stupid? This is the song which could have been the still birth of white rap, thankfully it wasn’t and Eminem rectified the crap that Vanilla Ice put out. Appropriately enough this was recently covered by the equally talentless X Factor pop muppets, Jedward and Vanilla Ice actually guested on it!That surely is some bad Karma isn’t it?

4 “She BangsRicky Martin – I don’t thing I really agree with this one being here. It’s not my favourite song, nor is it as good as “Living La Vida Loca” but it’s ok. Ricky came to prominence as part of a Puerto Rican Boy Band, Menudo. Their policy was to replace the boys in the band when one of the following event’s happened; 1) Their voice broke, 2) They became too tall or 3) they reached the age of 16. As far as I know Ricky is the only Menudo old boy to achieve such massive success.

5 “Barbie Girl” – Aqua – Does anyone like this song? It’s awful and frankly somewhat pervy in places too. Mattel, who own the rights to Barbie took Aqua and MCA Records to court claiming that the song infringed their copyright and turned Barbie into a sex object. The song’s lyrics refer to Barbie as a ‘blonde bimbo’. Mattel lost the case as the song was deemed to be a genuine parody. The song topped the chart in at least 13 countries worldwide and even made it into the US top 10.

6 “U Can’t Touch This” MC Hammer – Well if you can get past his ridiculous fashion sense with those voluminous trousers then this isn’t too bad is it? The song heavily samples from Rick James’ “Super Freak“. Hammer went on to become a preacher in the 90s.

7 “I Am Woman” – Helen Reddy – Reddy was born in 1941 in Australia. She says that she wrote this song because she felt that there were no songs that reflected what the women’s liberation movements were trying to achieve. It went on to become a massive success in 1972 reaching number 1 in the US Chart. It isn’t one of my favourites, but I fail to see how it ended up in this list. Actually I always loved her song “Angie Baby

8 “I’m Too Sexy” Right Said Fred – A formulaic disco song, sung by two shaven-headed/ bald well toned brothers; Richard and Fred Fairbrass. They had the classically stereotypical gay man look and I wonder whether this image was partly cultivated to broaden their market. This song smacks to me of being a classic one hit wonder. But strangely enough they went on to have quite a few hits, including a UK number one with “Deeply Dippy“. Meanwhile “I’m Too Sexy” actually reached number one in the US. The guys took their name from the Bernard Cribbins hit “Right Said Fred

9 “Ebony And Ivory” Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder – Paul was never my favourite Beatle and I’ve always loved Stevie, so when I read about this before it’s release I was quite excited. But then I heard it. Let’s face it, it’s crap isn’t it? Should be filed along with McCartney’s “Frog Chorus – We All Stand Together” and Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called To say I Love You” and these two songs are so bad I think that they are actually bettered by “Ebony And Ivory”

10 “Macarena” Los Del Rio – This is one of those songs that no matter how much you hate it, it gets into your head and you just can’t get rid of it. I really dislike this tune and the stupid dance that goes with it.

In the 70’s Kenny Everett hosted a UK Radio Show called “Kenny Everett’s World’s Worst Record Show” featuring many truly atrocious recordings including “This Pullover” Jess Conrad.

My own worst song ever tends to vary depending upon my mood, however I nearly always goe back to “Billy Don’t Be A Hero” by Paper Lace or “Agadoo” by Black Lace or even “Angels” by Robbie Williams.

 

“And who needs love when the sandwiches are wicked?” January 3, 2010


It’s January 3rd 2010 and also the first time that the once mighty Leeds United have beaten Manchester United at Old Trafford since 1981. Not only that but it counts as a serious giant killing act in the long traditions and history of the FA Cup. After their financial meltdown a few years back it’s about time Leeds had some great news. They are likely to be promoted this year too. Read all about todays game here. As for the fourth round let’s do the same to ‘Arry’s Spurs!

You're not singing anymore LOL

Leeds were the team I put my faith in when I first got into football, I never lived near the city, in fact I grew up near London. I can still remember the classic Leeds team from the late 60s; Sprake, Reaney, Cooper, Bremner, Charlton, Hunter, Lorimer, Clarke, Jones, Giles, Gray and Madeley (sub). Immortalised in David Peace’s excellent book ‘The Damned United’ the 70s team were hard, tough and dirty. The sad thing for me is that they finished 2nd more than they finished first.

Champions!

Strangely enough January 3rd is also the 40th anniversary of my first ever visit to a football match. It was Chelsea versus Burnley at Stamford Bridge in London in the third round of the FA Cup. I supported Chelsea that day, mainly because my Uncle Ben who took me was a died in the wool Burnley supporter. That game was a 2 all draw and Chelsea won the replay at Turf Moor in Burnley. In another strange coincidence Chelsea went on to play Leeds United in the final and sadly beat them in a replay which was held at Manchester United’s Old Trafford ground (another coincidence indeed). On the way to the final Leeds beat Manchester United in the semi final in the second replay

My Aunt June (Uncle Ben’s wife) was due to go to the Chelsea versus Burnley match with him but she gave her ticket to me after a somewhat traumatic experience I suffered at school. I used to write stories and sometimes read them in class, mostly limited and simple sci-fi with mild horror elements. I was influenced heavily by Marvel Comics (especially the Fantastic Four), the Pan Collections of Horror Stories and Gerry Anderson’s TV work (Stingray, Thunderbirds etc.). At a parents evening my parents were informed by the school that I had an imagination that was much too vivid and that reading American Comics and Horror stories was bad for me. They advised my folks to get rid of all my comics and horror books, so they did. In those days people often did what the ‘powers that be’ told them to, so I have no issues with my parents. However I do take great issue with the school, even now. Why on earth would you deny a child the chance to expand their imagination? It has never made sense to me. I could understand if they had said I should broaden my reading material, but to take most of it away, that just smacks of censorship!

Have any of you experienced anything similar?

I had around 90 of the first 100 Fantastic Four comics, number 3 was the lowest one I owned

Anyway as I often say this is a music blog so here are some appropriate songs

Leeds United & Leeds, Leeds, Leeds” – by the Leeds United Football Team – this single actually made the UK charts in the early 70s. Listen carefully and you’ll hear the names of all the players I mentioned earlier.

Fantastic Four Theme” – taken from the 1967 animated series

The Fantastic Four Song” – Ray Wall Band

Leeds United” – Amanda Palmer – this is one weird song, but I love it!

 

“Hey little sister what have you done?” September 2, 2009


Hello once again dearest readers, this post is something of a news and catch up style post. Largely because apart from my Reading reports last weekend I haven’t posted much of late. So let’s start by clearing out my mail box folder that is titled ‘Blog Stuff’. So just be warned that you may have seen some of this stuff already, but I reckon it’s worth at least a second view anyway!

First up was the news from two weeks ago that Mr Robert Zimmerman (aka Bob Dylan) is to release a Christmas album this year. A number of commentators have suggested that this may damage his credibility. Somehow I don’t think so, many supposedly credible artists have recorded Christmas songs with no damage to their credibility. I mean how about the Dame’s (that’ll be Mr Bowie to the non regular readers) duet with Bing Crosby back in 1977 on “Peace On Earth/ Little Drummer Boy” Anyway the ‘DYLAN TO RELEASE CHRISTMAS ALBUM’ headline prompted the Independent newspaper in the UK to put together a top ten worst rock n roll career moves. It includes things like marrying your 13 year old cousin (Jerry Lee Lewis), showing your potential Nazi leanings (Clapton, Bowie et al), getting your non musical spouse/ girlfriend involved in your music a la John & Yoko, Paul & Linda, Pete & Kate, Pete & Jordan, er well ok the last one probably helped Peter Andre’s career really and that one isn’t in the article anyway, but I thought it was worth a mention. Anyway now you get the drift read the whole thing by clicking here. Incidentally Bowie’s supposed Nazi salute at Victoria Station on his return to London by train in 1976 was in my opinion just a wave, that looked just like a Nazi salute when captured in still photograph form. Why do I believe this you may ask? Well largely because I was there. I’m not usually the sad kind of fan who does things like that, but I only worked 5 minutes walk from Victoria at the time so I thought it was worth going, well that and the fact that I am a massive Bowie fan too!

Bob really got into the Christmas spirit by designing and using enormous candle shaped drumsticks.

Bob really got into the Christmas spirit by designing and using enormous candle shaped drumsticks.

Just about a week ago Living TV ran a report on the most expensive wedding singers, I have reprinted the top 12 and their prices below (the original source was in fact the New Zealand Herald);

1. The Rolling Stones – up to £5 million

2. Sir Elton John – up to £2 million

– Kylie Minogue – up to £2 million

4. Christina Aguilera – up to £1.5 million

5. George Michael – £1.3 million

6. Amy Winehouse – £1 million

– Sir Paul McCartney – £1 million

– Leona Lewis – £1 million

– Jennifer Lopez – £1 million

10. Barry Manilow – £750,000

11. Rod Stewart – £600,000

12. Duran Duran – £500,000

You could book me and my mobile disco for much less than any of those! I reckon that Gareth Gates and Leon Jackson would be up for paying you to appear at your nuptials celebration, what do you think? Why no Billy Idol? He could make some money by turning up at half a dozen weddings each weekend just to sing “White Wedding” at each one. Incidentally I found a wedding songs site, click here to check it out. Interestingly enough none of the above top 12 seem to feature much on any of the song lists, maybe that’s why they have stooped to playing weddings themselves methinks!

Back in my day the couple didn't get bare until the wedding night! Oh that's a different type of bare is it :-)

Back in my day the couple didn't get bare until the wedding night! Oh that's a different type of bare is it 🙂

Many of you will have seen the many different subtitled versions of the clip taken from a film about Hitlers last days in his bunker in Berlin. The first one I saw was Adolf talking about the Chelsea versus Manchester United Champions League Final in 2008. Now that was very good, but one which I think is even better is as usual the same clip of film, but this time Hitler learns that Michael Jackson has died and will be unable to perform at the Fuhrer’s birthday celebrations. Click here to see it and let me know what you think of it as well.

"hello mikey wikey it's adolfy wolfy here" - "why isn't he waving back? Am I too old for him or something?"

"hello mikey wikey it's adolfy wolfy here" - "why isn't he waving back? Am I too old for him or something?"

If you have read any of my posts from the Reading Festival will know from the anguished comments added by my good friend Nick H that we managed to miss the appearance of Them Crooked Vultures a band (although back in the day the moniker would have been supergroup) that has John Paul Jones off of Led Zeppelin, Dave Grohl off of the Foo Fighters and Josh Homme off of Queens Of The Stone Age amongst it’s membership! So for all the rest of you that may also have missed them here is a video from their appearance at the Brixton Academy just before the Reading and Leeds festivals. Click here to see it and take comfort in the knowledge that they will be touring in the UK later this year.

And finally for today let’s end with some sad news, it has been reported today that Charlie Watts has left the Rolling Stones, just three years before their 50th Anniversary. 68 year old Charlie took a massive amount of persuading largely from KeithRichards to take part in the last Stones Tour and it seems that with the possibility mooted by Mick Jagger of more Stones activity next year the oldest member of the band has decided to quit. Now that is BIG news, let’s face it though Noel leaving Oasis doesn’t even begin to compare does it?

So until the next time dear readers, ain’t it a shame that Charlie Watts won’t be appearing at a wedding near you soon! 😉

Charlie is an excellent drummer but he was pretty crap with chopsticks

Charlie is an excellent drummer but he was pretty crap with chopsticks

 

 
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