With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music trivia, useless info, extra added random stuff and the odd rant from me

“You never see the rainbow, you just curse the rain” March 11, 2013


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You may have noticed that a secret selection recently took place to pick a very important figure. A person that we truly hope will be more successful than the previous occupant of the role, who frankly was a little too old for the task. I bet you think I’m talking about the selection of the new Pope don’t you? Well I’m not, I’m talking about the secretive BBC cabal that selects the artist that will represent the UK at the Eurovision Song Contest.

Bonnie Tyler to sing for UK at Eurovision

the recent puff of smoke emanating from Broadcasting House signalled the appointment of Welsh songstress Bonnie Tyler as this years representative. A successor to Englebert Humperdinck from last year. Apparently Bonnie is still ‘very big in Europe’. I’m not sure that is an advantage for the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest. Bonnie’s song is called “Believe In Me” and for me it is an inoffensive ditty that will probably remain towards the bottom of the pile when the votes are cast. If the Beeb were ‘Holding Out For A Eurovision Hero’ I think they will need to hold out a lot longer.

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The song was written by an Anglo US team consisting of Desmond Child (US), Lauren Christy (UK) and Christopher Braide (UK). the contest takes place on 18th May in Malmö in Sweden. Which means at least there will be no newspaper headline puns utilising Bonnie’s first hit “Lost In France“. It may also be the first Eurovision that I fail to blog about on the night. For two reasons; first last years contest was really dull and secondly I will be on holiday 🙂tony-iommi-credit-joby-sessions-450-100-450-70

What do you think of “Believe In Me” and how do you think it compares with earlier UK entries? In more Eurovision news the composer of the Armenian entry “Lonely Planet” is none other than the great Tony Iommi off of Black Sabbath. He is expecting it to be slagged off, but what the hell, he’s in Sabbath right?

 

“If it made you feel angry go ahead and write a letter” February 13, 2013


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So the big news for the year so far would seem to be that the Pope is retiring. It’s only a surprise because it hasn’t happened in nearly 600 years, but frankly isn’t he a bit of an old duffer to be holding such a big role? I mean he was 78 when he took the job on in 2005. I wonder why he chose to go now and did he pontificate much (did you see what I did there)? But clearly the world economy must be in a bad state when even God starts laying people off. Anyway if you are likely to be offended by an opinion of religion which may not be in support of the Pope or the Catholic Church I suggest you stop reading now. You have been warned!

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the conspiracy theorists are probably going into overdrive as I type this; does it relate to unpaid subscriptions for his Hitler Youth membership. is he about to admit to kiddie fiddling with a choir boy or two? If so did he use a condom? The latter would probably be a bigger sin wouldn’t it? Does he feel guilty for the Vatican giving Scumbag Saville a papal knighthood? Is he in fact the Anti Christ or even worse a transvestite; the Aunty Christ anyone? Or is he about to give us the headline the world has waited for and never thought possible? I’m talking ‘POPE ELOPES’ folks.

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I am also really surprised at the length of his notice period. He resigns on 11th February and his last day is 28th February. 17 days? My notice period is 4 weeks and I barely lead one and a half people let alone 1.2 billion. Will the new Pope Bloke be a radical reformer or just another old duffer in a funny hat? I’d like to think reformer, but it’ll be a duffer won’t it? But before I get to the music I’d like to float my conspiracy theory. I believe that Benedict is resigning because the end days of the Book of Revelations are upon us. The four Horseman of the Apocalypse have in fact arrived but somewhere the translation was incorrectly carried out. The Horsemen are in fact the four Horse Meat products; Ladies and gentlemen I give you Bad Burger, Bloody Evil Bolognese, Sinful Sausage and Lousy Lasagna. These are the true heralds of the apocalypse. As for the Anti Christ, that must be Sinead O’Connor right? If it is then she has my full support!

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“I guess he’s an X Box and I’m more Atari” September 19, 2010


Hello good people of the blogosphere. The regular readers amongst you may have noticed that I have been posting for a couple of weeks, that is largely because I have been on holiday in Spain. A rather lovely place nestled about halfway between Alicante and Valencia. It is called Javea and is also spelt as Xabia in Spanish, the strange thing is though that it is pronounced with an ‘H’ as in Havea. one of the reasons that I loved the place is that it is not over developed and there are hardly any English Pubs. Is there anyone out there who actually likes the idea of English pubs when abroad? Most of the UK Travel Guides give barely a mention of Javea, possibly because it is quite a popular resort with the Spanish, so maybe it is wise to keep it a secret. Catwoman and I stayed in a villa that we rented at ‘mates rates’ from friends, from there we could walk into town within 25 minutes and the drive took 5 to 10 minutes. It was great to be sitting by the pool or on the beach with the temperature in the 90s whilst the UK was very cold and wet. It was really wet when we arrived back at Leeds/ Bradford airport last night anyway.

I won’t bore you with all the details of the holiday but I will give a special mention to a couple of bars we visited;

Siesta – appropriately named as they let you hire large sun beds with canopies, you almost feel like you’re staying in one of Gaddafi’s tents. Great cocktails, great staff and some excellent chilled sounds.

Jalousie Cocktail Bar – we never sampled their proper cocktails, but the non-alcoholic ones were delicious as were their milkshakes.

Acqua Bar and Steakhouse – Good food, especially the fillet steak

Atalaya – probably one of the most chilled bars in town, you can relax in comfy sofas and look out over the sea and the beach while you drink and eat. The staff were great here too.

Obviously I need to bring this back around to music so here are a few things that happened in the music world while I was away. I haven’t done much research on these, they were in the UK newspapers that I bought or I picked them up from an occasional visit to the BBC site or just spotting other people’s newspaper headlines. I must say though that most of the news revolved around the Pope’s visit, so I’m damned glad I was out of the country.

I wonder what Morrissey thought of it?

Lady Gaga – the lady did wonders for my viewing figures while I was away, just over 30,000 in two weeks including a one day record of more than 6,000. She won 8 of her 13 nominations at the MTV awards and to celebrate she wore a meat dress. I guess she was putting her ‘steak’ in the ground or maybe she was bringing home the ‘bacon’ or giving the ‘cold shoulder’ or simply just ‘hamming it up’. Anyway it appears to have provoked a lot of debate about what meant, frankly though who gives a toss about its meaning? She is a wonderfully talented fruitloop and therefore fully qualified to grab attention in such a way and long may she continue! The BBC report includes a number of interpretations which are quite amusing in their seriousness, click here to read it.

George Michael jailed (and transferred) for driving under the influence (of dope in this case). He started off in Pentonville and was then transferred to a ‘softer’ prison. Pete Doherty and Boy George have both previously spent time in Pentonville. I have so far received many George Michael jokes as I suspect has everyone, but I won’t print those here. However the picture below is a superbly intelligent piece of graffiti. It shows the shop front of the Snappy Snaps shop that George hit with his car.

Apparently Susan Boyle and Michelle McManus were booked to sing for the Pope, although apparently he was already on his way out of the building when Susan was singing. That’s bloody rude isn’t it? Still at least he has now left the shores of our little third world country. Presumably he’s back in the Vatican now drafting a letter telling all those kiddy fiddler priests that they have been jolly naughty and not to do it again or they will be grounded for a week!

Alphonsus Cassell aka Arrow of “Hot Hot Hot” fame has died from brain cancer at his home in Montserrat. Now I reckon a Facebook campaign to get the song to number one should be kicked off, what do you think? Here he is singing the song at a benefit for Haiti in April this year.

Sacha Baron Cohen is chosen to play Freddie Mercury in the Queen biopic. The film will apparently focus on the years leading up to what many see as the pinnacle of Queen’s career, their appearance at Live Aid in 1985. Personally I think that is a great choice, I reckon Mr Cohen will really do the role justice, what do you folks think? Here are Queen at Live Aid with, appropriately for this post, “Radio Ga Ga”

I want to finish with the stupendous new song from Cee Lo Green off of Gnarls Barkley, it’s called “Fuck You” and I love it. there will be a more radio friendly version available soon, called “Forget You”

 

 
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