A few of you will know that I am part of what can probably only be described as a jokes syndicate. I receive tons of jokes from friends via text/ SMS and send them on to a select group of 18 people. I presume these 18 send them on to their buddies too. Perhaps this is what the real six degrees of separation is all about!
I occasionally receive a music related joke as I did earlier this week. If you are easily offended I suggest you stop reading now because I am going to publish said joke in this post. You have been warned! I would be interested to know if any of you have already seen this via an SMS/ text message, who knows, we may have mutual acquaintances.
Mick Hucknall of Simply Red has been arrested for shagging a rabbit. Apparently he was holding back the ears and singing bunnies too tight to mention!
And finally to show that I have ill feeling toward Mr Hucknall, it is only a joke after all, here are three Simply Red classics fo you to enjoy
Firstly let me apologise because I have partaken in a few measures of alcohol this evening. But in simple terms I’d been out to a gig, more of which soon, and needed something to eat when I got back to my hotel. So I ordered some pasta, which frankly wasn’t the best. However what struck me was the two rather loud blokes on the table next to me. For the whole of my meal all I heard in their high volume voices was how money was the king and how much they had and would make. I so wanted to confront them, but decided that silence might be a better option.
What I found quite amusing was that for someone who bragged endlessly about his riches the main protagonist was wearing a very cheap suit. He was also sexist and racist and let’s face it, a bit of a twat. He told the guy he was with that money would make women do anything and that it imbued great strength in everyone. But the funniest thing for me was that they were staying in the Britannia Hotel in London Docklands. Now no disrespect to anyone, but if I was rich I would certainly stay somewhere else. But I’m not, so I can’t.
Basically they were both obnoxious arseholes and what I think sealed that for me was that they challenged their bill. It was only £4.50 as they had an allowance to cover the rest! Now tell me is that greed or stupidity?
I won’t finish there, obviously, as this is a music blog. So here are a few related songs that I hope you enjoy;
People of cyberspace, I have some very sad news to share; Reggae legend Gregory Isaacs passed away today aged just 59. He died at his London home after a long illness having been diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago. Many of you regular readers will know that I have always been a big reggae fan and Isaac’s wonderful “Night Nurse” remains a favourite of mine. Mick Hucknall off of Simply Red recorded a cover of the song in 1997 with Sly and Robbie. In my opinion it was just a formulaic cover of a classic and doesn’t hold a candle to the original. Strangely the original was never a UK or US hit although it garnered massive radio and club play in 1982. The ‘Night Nurse’ album reached number 32 in the UK album chart.
He recorded with many Reggae greats including Rupie Edwards, Byron Lee and Prince Buster. He also formed the African Museum record label and shop with Errol Dunkley in 1973. One of his first big solo songs was “My Only Lover” which many consider to be the first ever lovers rock tune. He was a regular at the Reggae Sunsplash Festival, appearing every year up to 1991. His last album was ‘Brand New Me’ in 2008.
Read about him here at the BBC and the NME. Then listen to (and watch in a couple of cases) some classic Gregory cuts below. “Slavemaster” is one of the best.
I was reading the news earlier today and I discovered a fantastic longstanding tradition that I had never previously heard of and yet it appears to have started more than 30 years ago. It is the annual Amtrak Mooning in Laguna Niguel in Orange County California. It took place this weekend and started as some kind of bet in a bar. A drinker in the Mugs Away Bar which is opposite the Amtrak rail line offered to buy a drink for anyone who would go out and moon at the next train. One drinker took the challenge and it has grown since then to a point where thousands of people take part every year. Many people even travel on the Amtrak on that day especially to see it.
Don't look now but there's a crack on the track!
Here is a video of the Amtrak Moon event from 2005
I think this whole idea is bloody hilarious and maybe we should kick something off like it in the UK, maybe on the platform at Baker Street Station or a bridge over the main east coast rail line in York. Who would be up for that?We already have the Annual Naked Bike Ride in York in June, maybe we can combine it with a rail mooning event.
What I don't get is why there are so many clothes on a naked bike ride
Strangely I was considering a train related post having visited the National Railway Museum in York yesterday with some friends and their two children. So when I saw the Amtrak mooning story on the Beeb I thought I’d combine the two. So here are a few songs relating to trains or mooning. If anyone knows of a song that actually combines trains and mooning then please let me know.
The Train Songshttps://justwilliam1959.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=1701&action=edit&message=10
“Runaway Train” – Roseanne Cash. She is the eldest daughter of the late, great Johnny Cash. Her first, self titled album, was recorded largely in Germany. It was released in 1978 although not in the USA
“Downtown Train” – Rod Stewart. Rod has recently turned down the opportunity to tour again with the remaining members of the Faces and his place is taken by Mick Hucknall of Simply Red. Now I just don’t get that, do you? Glen Matlock off of the Sex Pistols replaces the late, great Ronnie Lane.When speaking of his divorces Rod was allegedly quoted as saying “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”
“Long Train Runnin‘” – Doobie Brothers. The fledgling Doobie Brothers were called Pud until a friend noted their fondness for smoking doobies (marijuana cigarettes to those of you who were bypassed by drug culture). So not real brothers at all!
“Chattanooga Choo Choo” – Glenn Miller Orchestra. Mr Miller was born just two months before my wonderful Nan, Rosie Lavinia Schofield in March 1904. She died aged 93 back in 1998. Glen Miller was recorded as missing presumed dead on 15th December 1944 after his plane ditched into the English Channel
The Moon Songs
“Blue Moon” – Marcels. The group who formed in 1959, were named by Fred Johnson’s (who sang bass)Priscilla, after a popular hair style of the day (the Marcell wave)
“Under The Moon Of Love” – Curtis Lee. Curtis had a US hit with this song and “Pretty Little Angel Eyes” in 1961, both were produced by Phil Spector and both were covered in the 70s by UK band Showaddywaddy who had a UK number one with “Under The Moon Of Love” in 1976
“The Whole Of The Moon” – Waterboys. This song was a minor UK hit in 1985, its progress was hampered by singer Mike Scott’s refusal to appear on the BBC’s Top Of The Pops where he would have had to lip sync the song.
“Man On The Moon” – REM, The song is about US comic performer Andy Kaufman. This video is a live performance at a Rock The Vote show and has Michael Stipe duetting with Bruce Springsteen
Hello dear readers and those of you who just like to look at the pictures. This post is a little random and maybe in the spirit of all of my earliest posts. Today is the 14th January 2010 and it marks 32 years since the last proper Sex Pistols gig. Certainly the last one to feature Sid Vicious and not one of those reunion shows. That show was at the Winterland Ballroom in San Francisco and Johnny Rotten’s last words from the stage were “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? Good Night” I actually have the bootleg of that gig and judging from the bass playing it was clear that, as Rotten later observed, Sid was out of his brains. Here are the Pistols with “Bodies” from that very gig
As for Mr Rotten, or Lydon as he is known nowadays I was disappointed when I saw him advertising British butter (click here to see it). However he was recently quoted as saying that it paid him enough to put up the initial funding for the PiL tour he is currently undertaking, so now I feel very relieved.
Sid dry humps a lamppost and johnny dresses as a Hasidic Jew, just another boring day for the Pistols then!
Today we also received the sad news that Teddy Pendergrass had died. Teddy (or Theodore to his parents) was the voice of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes. Ha! I bet plenty of you thought Harold was the singer didn’t you? They had some massive hits in the early 70s with wonderful songs like “Wake Up Everybody” and “If You Don’t Know Me By Now“. The latter was covered in a somewhat mediocre way by Mick Hucknall with Simply Red. Teddy went solo later in the 70s and had another string of hits including “Close The Door” and “Turn Off The Lights” Hey those titles fit together nicely don’t they? Teddy was involved in a road traffic accident in 1983 which left him a paraplegic, but he continued to perform in spite of that. His rich and distinctive voice will be sadly missed by those of us who love such sublime soul music.
In his youth Teddy always like pussy............cats!
Finally and perhaps most importantly I experienced a really bizarre coincidence yesterday. Just as I opened my newspaper to read about the awful earthquake in Haiti, Steely Dan’s “Haitian Divorce” popped up on my iPod. So I thought that I would give you the link to the BBC report of the disaster and also a link where you can donate to the relief effort. Pay whatever you can, because even if your day has been pretty shit it cannot be anywhere near as bad as those affected by the quake. Do it, you know it makes sense 🙂
Thank you for all you banking song suggestions following my original banking rant yesterday. In fact there were five new songs suggested by Marcy, Mickelodeon and Catwoman. I might have guessed that Catwoman’s would be from a musical. Anyway I will keep this one very short and I will end it with a poll including the five from yesterdays post and your suggestions. Get voting good people, obviously the bad people and anyone in the banking industry is also allowed to vote too. Personally I’m torn between the Clash and the O’Jays
Welcome back dear readers, I thought I’d throw in a free bonus post for you today. I was just thinking about the latest published horror stories from the banking industry, notably that bunch of bwankers at RBS and I thought how about a list of top 5 songs relating to the banking industry;
I can think of plenty more but I would love to know what songs you guys would include
Let’s think about it as well, these banking and finance companies run up some of the biggest debts in history and then come cap in hand to various governments for a bail out. Fair enough so far, I wouldn’t want to see hundreds of employees who toil honestly lose their jobs. But then the bank big wigs decide that they should be still allowed to take their enormous bonuses. The guy who got RBS into this position has a bigger pension that most can even dream of. Hold on a cotton pickin’ minute here, I’m a taxpayer that is MY damned money he and others are getting! OK some perspective if I committed benefit fraud to the tune of just a few hundred pounds I might well be spending some time in prison, oh I’m sure I could ask for a bonus but I would imagine the response I would get would be more painful and embarrassing than dropping the soap in the prison showers
With Just A Hint Of Mayhem 