With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music trivia, useless info, extra added random stuff and the odd rant from me

“You could be the DJ I could be the dance floor” April 24, 2013


JLSasaurus now extinct....... WOOOO HOOO!

JLSasaurus now extinct……. WOOOO HOOO!

It is with obvious regret and sadness that I have to announce the appalling news that JLS will be breaking up. I would also like to ask is that first sentence true? Well technically the bit about JLS breaking up was, but the obvious regret and sadness was in fact complete bollocks. My only sadness is that this didn’t happen so much sooner. How did we manage to give these useless pop muppets the oxygen of publicity for nearly five years! They arrived via a TV show which is less tasteful than the sulphur discharge from Satan‘s hemorrhoids; that’ll be the X Factor. They didn’t even finish first, that was the equally short on talent Alexandra Burke.

Someone stole all the toilets and toilet doors so JLS were left squatting and unable to go.....is that why they are full of shit?

Someone stole all the toilets and toilet doors so JLS were left squatting and unable to go…..is that why they are full of shit?

In five years they have clearly wrung their teenage audience dry (well technically they have drained the coffers of the parents of their teenage audience); four albums and five UK number one singles? What has the world come to? As if Westlife were not bad enough these boys have taken the worst of them and added a dance beat and more stage dancing. so goodbye to Oritse Williams, Marvin Humes, J.B. Gill and Aston Merrygold. I would love to say I’ll miss you, but that would be a lie. But I guess the ensuing solo albums might be so bad that they’ll be good for a laugh. One will do an album of German oompah style covers of the Dead Kennedy’s back catalogue, another will spit out a concept album about how My Little Pony‘s are made and the other two will collaborate on a re-recording of everything JLS have ever recorded using only flatulence and water! But obviously being the superstars that they are they couldn’t just break up and go away, they have to do the obligatory farewell tour, which has been very imaginatively titled ‘Goodbye; The Greatest Hits Tour’ which as you have probably guessed will be in support of the album ‘Goodbye: The Greatest Hits’. So clearly not a cynical cash in is it? Then there will be the reunion tour in 2023 to look forward to.

By the end of next year our fan base will be about as big as this!

By the end of next year our fan base will be about as big as this!

Finally and just to add a degree of balance I have included a video of one of their UK number ones just in case any of their obviously distraught fans has arrived here by mistake!

JayLS-inbetweeners-JLS-Jay-JayCartwright-1330733694z

 

“We can make your wildest dreams come true” December 27, 2010


It is with sadness that I report the death of Teena Marie aged just 54. According to some news reports she died in her sleep and was found by her daughter. Read the news here on Yahoo. Teena was one of Motown‘s most successful white artists and a protegé of funk legend Rick James. Motown were worried that the fact she was white might have a detrimental effect on sales so they kept her image from the cover of her first album. A bit like the way they released some albums by their black artists in the 60s, I recall one Isley Brothers album, where the cover was a picture of a lot of beautiful young white people on a beach! It’s all wrong surely.

Teena also won a landmark legal case against Motown before she joined Epic. It broke the way record companies were allowed to hold artists on contract without them being able to release anything. Although she went on to further success with Epic in the 80s Teena for me will always be remembered for two classic funk songs from her Motown days; “Behind The Groove” and “I’m Just A Sucker For Your Love”. You can listen to them below and also watch an excellent clip of her singing “Casanova Brown” live

She will be sadly missed, my thoughts go out to her family and fans around the world.

 

 
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