With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music reviews, gig reviews, fun trivia and extra added random stuff!

“You could be the DJ I could be the dance floor” April 24, 2013


JLSasaurus now extinct....... WOOOO HOOO!

JLSasaurus now extinct……. WOOOO HOOO!

It is with obvious regret and sadness that I have to announce the appalling news that JLS will be breaking up. I would also like to ask is that first sentence true? Well technically the bit about JLS breaking up was, but the obvious regret and sadness was in fact complete bollocks. My only sadness is that this didn’t happen so much sooner. How did we manage to give these useless pop muppets the oxygen of publicity for nearly five years! They arrived via a TV show which is less tasteful than the sulphur discharge from Satan‘s hemorrhoids; that’ll be the X Factor. They didn’t even finish first, that was the equally short on talent Alexandra Burke.

Someone stole all the toilets and toilet doors so JLS were left squatting and unable to go.....is that why they are full of shit?

Someone stole all the toilets and toilet doors so JLS were left squatting and unable to go…..is that why they are full of shit?

In five years they have clearly wrung their teenage audience dry (well technically they have drained the coffers of the parents of their teenage audience); four albums and five UK number one singles? What has the world come to? As if Westlife were not bad enough these boys have taken the worst of them and added a dance beat and more stage dancing. so goodbye to Oritse Williams, Marvin Humes, J.B. Gill and Aston Merrygold. I would love to say I’ll miss you, but that would be a lie. But I guess the ensuing solo albums might be so bad that they’ll be good for a laugh. One will do an album of German oompah style covers of the Dead Kennedy’s back catalogue, another will spit out a concept album about how My Little Pony‘s are made and the other two will collaborate on a re-recording of everything JLS have ever recorded using only flatulence and water! But obviously being the superstars that they are they couldn’t just break up and go away, they have to do the obligatory farewell tour, which has been very imaginatively titled ‘Goodbye; The Greatest Hits Tour’ which as you have probably guessed will be in support of the album ‘Goodbye: The Greatest Hits’. So clearly not a cynical cash in is it? Then there will be the reunion tour in 2023 to look forward to.

By the end of next year our fan base will be about as big as this!

By the end of next year our fan base will be about as big as this!

Finally and just to add a degree of balance I have included a video of one of their UK number ones just in case any of their obviously distraught fans has arrived here by mistake!

JayLS-inbetweeners-JLS-Jay-JayCartwright-1330733694z

 

“Got to be a joker he just do what he please” December 27, 2010


Well I trust that you all had a good Christmas and that your turkey is all used up. Myself and Catwoman certainly ate too much as usual! Anyway I’m back with a couple of snippets of news for you.

Even Simon Cowell can't stand to listen to most contestants

Firstly I am saddened to report that the X Factor was the most watched show of 2010 on UK TV. Some 17.7 million viewers watched Matt Cardle crowned champion on the final show of the series whilst England versus Germany in the World Cup could only muster 17.4 million. But it would be fair to say that the England team showed as much talent as some of the no talent losers that populate the first few weeks of the X Factor. Eastenders and Coronation Street were 3rd and 4th. You can read the story here on the BBC. Matt Cardle has also managed to stay for a second week at the top of the UK charts. The top ten also features Rihanna, Black Eyed Peas, Take That and Katy Perry who have all had major guest slots on the show. Olly Murs, X Factor Finalists and JLS, all former contestants are in the top 40. In addition part-time X Factor judge Nicole Scherzinger has a top 40 place and there are two for X Factor judge and the Nations Sweetheart Cheryl Cole. So many places taken up by X Factor related stuff, how bad is that?

So onto some better news, the zebra crossing outside the Abbey Road studios which was featured on the cover of the Beatles Abbey Road album has been given listed status. This must be the most famous crossing in the world. How many of you have been there and had your picture taken on it? Send them to me and I’d be happy to post them on the blog! The BBC reports the story here. To celebrate listen to the Fab Four below with “Come Together” from that very album. Below that you can also see two other famous crossings, the Simpsons and the Red Hot Chili Peppers

 

“Where the thunder turns around they’ll run so hard we’ll tear the ground away” November 15, 2010


Dear readers I have recently encountered a real problem. As many of you know I am not the world’s biggest Robbie Williams fan, in fact I take many opportunities to disparage the Robster. However my problematical dilemma is that I like the new Take That album (Robbie is a member again for now) and I also like the song he recorded with Gary Barlow for his current greatest hits package. I can just about live with all that I suppose. But if I ever tell you that I really love Robbie’s awful dirge “Angels” or that I have become a fan of JLS or Boylife or Westzone (I believe that Boyzone and Westlife are truly interchangeable) then take me to the vet and have me put down humanely!

Take That prepare to become David Haye's next victims!

Whilst talking of Take That, JLS and Westlife they all appeared on this weekend’s light entertainment show (it really, really isn’t a talent show is it?) the X Factor. Take That performed “The Flood” which was a million times better than the dreadful shite that JLS and Westlife performed. The JLS song, “Love You More” is at least raising money for the BBC’s Children In Need appeal, whereas Westlife’s “Safe” is just awful and not for charity. As usual there was a controversial vote, Aidan Grimshaw was booted out, very deservedly so in my opinion, at the expense of Katie Waissel. One has to ask what has she ever done to the people who vote on the show that she regularly receives fewer votes than Wagner (pronounced Vagner except for the old Irish windbag Louis Walsh!) But seriously, how can it be classed as a talent show whilst people like Wagner progress so far?

The real reason Robbie rejoined Take That is that he saw the on stage perks they now recieved! ............ While you're down there indeed!

But by far the biggest controversy about the show this weekend was whether or not Cheryl Cole farted whilst giving her verdict on Cher Lloyd on Saturday’s show. It’s a story carried by many of the UK tabloids, personally I reckon she did, what do you think? Did Cheryl really fart on live TV or is it just another whiff of hype from the X Factor machine. Cast your vote below and remember you will still have to pay me if you try to vote after the poll has closed.  😉

I wonder if that incident will give her new single “Promise This”  a little extra wind to take it into the charts? Is it me or do the tights/ stockings she is wearing in the video look like artistic skid marks?

Holy Moly said she was going for a Bram Stoker's Dracula look, personally I think it was a cross between Princess Leia off of Star Wars and Minnie Mouse!

Let me finish with a question for you. How should one describe a Boyband that are no longer boys? I don’t know the answer but I would love to hear your suggestions. I have heard Manband used, but frankly that sounds like something a gentleman of a ‘certain’ age might use in conjunction with Viagra.

 

“If Adolf Hitler flew in today, they’d send a limousine anyway” November 1, 2010


A collection of randomness awaits you in today’s post. Starting with a rather bizarre picture that was sent to me last week. Now obviously I read a lot of conspiracy theories (I don’t believe most of them though) and I have also read Ira Levin‘s ‘The Boys From Brazil‘ So from all that wealth of knowledge I have gleaned that most of the top Nazis from the 2nd World War disappeared to South America after the war, possibly including Adolf Hitler himself. Personally I never believed that at all and I believe that the picture below, which was taken on a London Bus recently clearly proves that Hitler is not in South America, but that he is in fact residing in Shepherds Bush in London. Is that Eva Braun with him or is it his Mother?

Hitler Hiels a bus!

OK so like I’ve said loads of times this is a music blog so here is a song that mentions Mr Hitler. It’s one of my favourite songs and this is undeniably a great excuse to play it, please enjoy the Clash with “White Man In The Hammersmith Palais”

Some rather sad news now, Sony is finally retiring the Walkman after 30 years of sterling service, I owned one in the early 80s although I can only imagine that a Walkman in a cupboard must feel like Woody in Toy Story when Buzz Lightyear arrives. In this case of course Buzz Lightyear represents the MP3 player or iPod. I read a brilliant post about the demise of the Walkman on the Barely Awake In Frog Pajamas blog. Click here to check it out, you’ll find some top tunes there too! You can also read about it in the Guardians Music Blog.

RIP - the Sony Walkman

What better song to play at the Walkman wake than “C30, C60, C90 Go” by Bow Wow Wow which includes wonderful lyrics such as “C30 C60 C90 Go, off the radio I get a constant flow, hit it, pause it, record it and play, turn it, rewind, and rub it away”

Did you know that Tina Turner once advertised Pearl Drops, way back in 1972? She should have sponsored fright wigs, especially at Halloween!

It’s not too late to save the 100 Club, just click here and contribute, I have! There has been live music at the venue since 1942 when it opened as the Feldman Swing Club. In 1976 it hosted the International Punk Festival which featured the Sex Pistols, Siouxse and the Banshees, Buzzcocks, the Damned and the Clash. More recently bands such as Gallows and the Automatic have released tracks recorded at their gigs at the 100 Club. Click here to see a comprehensive list of acts that have played the club. Watch the Jam performing at the 100 Club in 1977 below.

Sir Elton found writing pop songs a real pig these days, so he decided to leave to those X Factor muppets

Sir Elton John has said that he will no longer be releasing singles, he says that he is not able to compete in the singles Pop Charts with the likes of JLS and Lady Gaga. He says he will continue with what he calls fun side projects, like with the Scissor Sisters. He will also explore elements of his own musical heroes, like his current release with Leon Russell. Click here to read details of the story, which is taken from a GQ interview, on the BBC site.

 

Brits Special “I’m On The Right Track, Yeah I’m On To A Winner” February 17, 2010


It’s February 2010 (the 16th to be precise) and ‘With just A Hint Of Mayhem’ is coming to you live from the Brit Awards 2010. Well ok almost live and actually not really there but just in front of the telly! Just like last year really, if you want to relive my post from last years Brits click here

This years awards were hosted by the rather spiffingly talented Mr Peter Kay (Garlic Bread?) Interestingly the ad breaks featured a Master Card advert which was the story of last years Outstanding Achievement award winners the Pet Shop Boys doing a concert at someone’s house! Who would you choose to do a gig at your house? I would opt for David Bowie or Kate Bush!

First up to perform was the delectable Lily Allen. She sang “The Fear” with quite a strange cast of dancers; Pram Pushers, Men in Bowler Hats, Suits with no trousers and Union Jack Boxer Shorts and also some Umbrella Parachutists (is that a word?) dressed in pink camouflage gear. truly spectacular indeed! Lily was wearing a black hot pants type outfit, which I rather liked but Catwoman definitely didn’t! Hmmmmmmm I wonder why?

The first award was presented by Page 3 and ‘I’m A Celebrity’ veteran Sam Fox. She was introduced by Peter Kay as Sam Fleetwood, Mick Fox, Sam Fox in reference to the debacle that was the Brits presented by Sam and Mick Fleetwood off of Fleetwood Mac in the late 1980s. She presented the Brits Memorable Performance of the last 30 years. It seemed we were expecting a list of nominees, but there didn’t appear to be one. The award was given to the Spice Girls and was collected by Scary and Ginger or Mel B and Geri Halliwell as they prefer to be known these days

The next award was for Best British Male Artist and was presented by Andy Serkis who played Gollum in Lord Of The Rings and most recently played Ian Dury. The award went to the hugely entertaining Dizzee Rascal, thank god it wasn’t Robbie Williams! After this we endured JLS performing “Beat Again” they arrived on stage on strings, which confirmed my suspicions that these pop muppets are indeed puppets!

Mel B returned to the stage to present the next award to Jay Z or Jason Zed as Peter Kay called him. He won Best International Male Solo Artist. He spoke of his Glastonbury appearance and mentioned (tongue in cheek methinks) how he was influenced by the Spice Girls.

Noddy Holder off of Slade presented the best album of 30 years of the Brits award to Liam Gallagher for the Oasis album What’s The Story Morning Glory. Obviously Liam swore because the sound disappeared and the ‘audio has been muted’ appeared in the corner of the screen. As he left the stage he threw the microphone into the crowd and allegedly also threw the award into the crowd as well. Peter Kay referred to him, rightly so, as a knobhead when he did leave the stage.

Kasabian then played live and for me they were somewhat lacklustre, what did you think. I thought the flames at the front of the stage were more exciting.

The next award, the Breakthrough Act, was presented by Geri Halliwell (was this a Spice Girls take over?). Geri had to apologise for her earlier failure with Mel B to thank the other Spice Girls! It went to, shamefully in my opinion JLS. Pixie Lott, La Roux and Friendly Fires were all also nominated and missed out to the aforementioned muppets!

Courtney Love presented the Critics Choice Award to the delightful Ellie Goulding, I think I may have to download her album very soon.

Next to perform was the fantastic Lady Ga Ga. In my opinion she is a true star and a real mold breaker. She wore a kind of lace mask, fright wig and a body stocking that seemed to reveal more than it covered. A great performance and someone I would love to see in concert. She also dedicated her first song to the late, great and sadly departed Alexander McQueen.

Idris Elba off of London’s Burning (who he?) presented the Best British Group Award to Kasabian. Personally I felt it should have gone to Muse. Incidentally up to this point I had guessed every winner correctly!

Cat Deeley presented the first of Lady GaGa’s awards for International Breakthrough Artist. This was followed by a fantastic and inspired duet from Dizzee Rascal and Florence off of Florence and the Machine. It was the classic and one of my all time favourite songs; “You Got The Love” which was originally by the Source featuring Candi Staton.

There followed a short film clip of Prince Harry extolling the virtues and wonderful charitable work of the Brits Trust. He came across as quite amusing and very human and showed that one is down wiv da kidz! Which coming from someone like me who is very anti royal is big praise indeed.

über Knobhead Jonathan Ross presented the Best International Female award to (no surprises here) Lady GaGa. her second of the night so far!

Dame Shirley Bassey presented the Solo British Female award, one which she herself actually won in 1977. It went to one of my current favourite singers, Lily Allen. Lily wore a red wig, which she claimed was to make it hard for the cameras to pick her out for that ‘disappointed’ shot had she not won. Incidentally she clearly seemed surprised and very giggly!

Jay Z and Alicia Keys then duetted on a storming “New York State Of Mind”. Mr Z is my second favourite rapper after Eminem and Alicia possess one of the finest soul voices of her generation.

Mika presented the Best International Album Award to Lady GaGa, her third and final Brit of the night. I believe the new Queen Of The Brits deserved every one of them!

Cheryl Cole then performed “Fight For Your Love” amidst a cast of a thousand dancers. For me the dark glasses and dance moves suggested our Cheryl is something af a Janet Jackson wannabe. I didn’t spot Cashley in the crowd though, perhaps he texted her earlier!

Alan Carr had the honour of giving the Best British Single Award to JLS, well that one was voted for by Sun readers so what do you expect?

Tom Ford (is he a fashion designer?) presented the Best British Album Brit to Florence and the Machine for the brilliant album ‘Lungs’. Florence gave a very gracious acceptance speech. ‘Lungs’ is one of my favourite albums of recent years I also loved her set at last years Reading Festival

Finally the winner of the Outstanding Achievement Award who also had the honour of closing the show was Robbie Bloody Williams. He performed a medley of hits, including a song which I really do not like, “Angels” As regular readers might have guessed the appearance of Robbie was definitely not a highlight for me.

So in summary 3 Brits to Lady GaGa and sadly 2 to JLS and in my opinion that is 2 too many!

 To finish here are a few Brit News links for you;

Sky News

The Guardian

 

 
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