With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music trivia, useless info, extra added random stuff and the odd rant from me

“I gave you the finger, you took me to dinner” November 12, 2013


Geri meets 3 of the 393 people that bought her new single

Geri meets 3 of the 393 people that bought her new single

Once upon a time she was one fifth of the pop world conquering Spice Girls who sold their songs by the Starship load. Nowadays Geri Halliwell a.k.a. Ginger Spice is selling barely enough CDs (ok I recognise that many are probably downloads these days) for one person to carry. Geri’s new single in Australia, “Half Of Me” sold just 393 copies in its first week. To be fair that is probably 392 more than perhaps a new Victoria Beckham single would sell.

Geri celbrates after the first six copies of her new single had been sold

Geri celebrates after the first six copies of her new single had been sold

Anyway it seems that Geri is taking it reasonably well. She decided not to perform the song on the Australia’s Got Talent Final TV show. Instead she performed a version of the Spice Girls first hit “Wannabe”. She admitted that deep down she was gutted. In contrast the Australian number one single, “Alive” by Aussie X Factor winner Dami Im sold 44,000 in the same period. Click here to read the story on the BBC.

Geri spends all the profits from the sales of her new single on a cab ride across the road

Geri spends all the profits from the sales of her new single on a cab ride across the road

It’s clearly a long way from those heady days of her early solo career where she achieved four UK number ones; “Mi Chico Latino“, “Lift Me Up”, “Bag It Up” and an atrocious cover version (in my opinion) of the Weather Girls disco classic “It’s Raining Men“. The latter was also number one in Belgium, France, Ireland and Italy. She has never had an Australian number one solo single though and with “Half Of Me” only making it to number 281 that seems unlikely to change.  Her biggest solo hit in the land down under was her first  single “Look At Me” which made it to number 3 in 1999. Should we start a campaign to have “Half Of Me” adopted as the anti X Factor Christmas number 1 in the UK this year? No I didn’t think you’d go for that either!

dami_im

 

“Feels like you’re dying, you’re dying” June 2, 2012

Filed under: News — justwilliam1959 @ 6:21 am
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Westlife serve up another steaming pile of shi………. errrr chips!

When I think of bad cover versions I usually think of weak insipid boy band covers from the likes of Boyzone and Westlife. That view was recently confirmed to me when I came across the video of none other than Westlife covering the Kings Of Leon‘s “Sex On Fire“. It’s bloody awful, the usual bland and occasionally out of tune vocal performance and some ridiculous synchronised dancing. Since when was the pogo supposed to be synchronised? the only good news is that Westlife are on their farewell tour, let’s just hope they never reform shall we.

Westlife are arrested for murdering a classic rock song

Laugh at the cover and enjoy the original below.

The man to blame for Westlife. How can he sleep at night for making us endure such shite?

 

“Yes we’re going to a party party, yes we’re going to a party party, yes we’re going to a party party” February 9, 2012


I can hardly believe it really. I started this blog because I was as they say ‘between contracts’ and frankly I was a little bored. But now it’s probably my favourite hobby. Why am I telling you all this? Well the blog is three years old today, 9th February 2012. I have loved every moment and I have met some wonderful people through it too. The most amazing thing is that I would have been knocked out if my viewing figures went into double figures on a weekly basis but now the total for three years is an incredible 1.04 million. I’d like to thank each and every one of you; especially the 51 who have subscribed and the 180 who are following it on Twitter.

I have made close to 450 posts and there have been nearly 530 comments. Some of the more amusing things are the search terms that have landed people here. The top 10 search items for the 12 months to 9th February 2012 are;

lady gaga 10,670

street signs 3,923

esthera sarita 3,555

rod stewart 2,910

imelda may 2,561

bjork 2,019

spencer elden 1,828

michael jackson 1,649

kate bush 1,625

dream catcher 1,385

The Lily Allen Naked experiment clearly still has some residual interest with 368 hits for Ms Allen naked. The naked thing is quite weird; many of you have searched for a favourite celeb naked including; Lady Gaga, Rage Against the Machine, Take That, Bono, Rod Stewart, Kate Bush, Simon Cowell & Louis Walsh. I mean come on people, first it’s not kind of site and second who really wants to see some of those naked? Louis Walsh naked bloody hell that’s perverse!

The largest referrals outside of search engines this year came from;

Facebook.com

williamyoung.org

barelyawakeinfrogpajamas.wordpress.com

pretendinglifeislikeasong.wordpress.com

glasswalking-stick.blogspot.com

A big thanks to all of those. The Will Young one came about after I said some nice things about him in another of my anti X Factor posts.

The most viewed YouTube video from my blog in the past 12 months has been Wyclef Jean‘s “Stripper Song”. It’s a great song but there is no stripper in the clip, it’s just audio!

As for the most downloaded pictures from the blog in the last 12 months, that tells a similar story to the naked searches and the Stripper Song. Here they are in order of popularity;

the most downloaded picture on my blog Feb 2011 to Feb 2012

Number 4 and 5 take things to another place entirely!

Who do you think you're kidding Mr Hitler? That bus doesn't go to Poland

Back in the days when he was a laughing-stock.

And finally I also had the audacity to start three new blogs in the last 12 months. Feel free to check them out, rate them, comment on them and stuff.

http://withjustahintoflearning.wordpress.com/

http://withjustahintofamelia.wordpress.com/

http://starsinmyglasses.wordpress.com/

Thanks again for bothering to take a look it’s a pleasure having you here. I’ll close with a few birthday related songs;

 

“Swept away on a wave of emotion, overcaught in the eye of the storm” October 21, 2011

Filed under: News,Rants — justwilliam1959 @ 10:40 pm
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At last Westlife are ready to cash in their chips

After the epic news earlier this week that the Stone Roses have reformed some even more epic news broke yesterday. Westlife are finally splitting up, which I must say that I find really sad. When I say sad I mean I’m really sad that it’s taken so bloody long for it to happen. It hardly registers on the same cultural scale as the Beatles break up does it? But incredibly Westlife have had 14 UK number one singles (that’s not far off the Beatles and Elvis Presley’s tally of 17 and 21 respectively) and have worldwide record sales of 44 million. Unlike the Beatles though these guys aren’t just breaking up, they’re embarking on a farewell tour next year in support of a greatest hits package to be released next month. For me they were all about the easy buck and the dumbing down of the music industry. So no surprise that the most worthless, talentless person to ever appear on TV or find employment in the entertainment industry, Louis Walsh, was behind them!

Personally I'm glad that someone took the stage away!

But of course every Yin has a Yang, every Kit has a Kat, every A-Side has a B-Side, every day has a night, every messiah has a Judas, every rose has a thorn, every Bon has a Jovi and every dog has a Shit. It sadly comes in the wake of a Steps reunion. So just as we lose an insipid, karaoke style hit machine in the guise of a boy band we regain one of pop music’s most annoying manufactured happy clappy combos. As a quick aside check out the BBC’s rather amusing comparison of the reunion of Steps vs. the reunion of the Stone Roses by clicking here. As regular readers will know I will not even be going in sniffing distance for shows by either Westlife or Steps.

Westlife never really mastered Madonna's Vogue dance

But I would like to say something in favour of the genuine fans of all the acts I have mentioned in this post; Stone Roses, Westlife and Steps. This is a message to all you ticket scalpers out there – “Give it up you money grabbing bastards and let the real fans get the tickets!” How come that within minutes of tickets going on sale they suddenly appear on E Bay at vastly inflated prices? Greed that’s how come! As for ticket exchange sites like Viagogo I personally wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole, they’re just like licensed touts. Apologies for that, I needed a bit of a rant, I really don’t like touts and scalpers, especially those who do it in a corporate guise!

 

“Is this just a silly game, that forces you to act this way” October 2, 2011


Regular readers of this blog know that I am not particularly fond of X Factor and all the crap that produces. I have taken a conscious decision to not watch it again. I saw 20 minutes of one episode of the new series and frankly it looks like the same old stuff yet again; a bunch of, at best, moderately talented individuals who might have a chance of a 12 month career in the music industry before being dropped. If you are a true music fan you probably never watch the show anyway. But for those of you who aren’t sure; The X Factor is NOT the future of rock ‘n’ roll. The X Factor DOES NOT produce or nurture great talent. The X Factor WOULD HAVE turned down the likes of Kate Bush or David Bowie. Olly Murs IS NOT rock ‘n’ roll (an appearance on Saturday Kitchen and on the bill at V Festival on the same day! A great reason to boycott the V Festival and go to Reading or Leeds instead) The X Factor IS JUST a light entertainment programme. I really mean all those kind of shows when I say X Factor; American Idol, Britain’s Got Talent etc.)

Probably more talented than most recent winners and finalists of the X Factor

In addition have you heard the new Matt Cardle single? It sounds like a song that Coldplay or Snow Patrol have rejected. Yes I know it was written by Gary Barlow off of Take That; but it is a bit of a dirge isn’t it. As for the stranglehold the show has on the Christmas number one we really need to create another Rage Against The Machine moment to prevent this years Joe Cardle or Matt McElderry (yes I know the names are juxtaposed!) or whatever identikit pop muppet wins. I propose something like the first Public Image Limited single “Public Image”, “White Riot” by the Clash or perhaps the Ramones with “I Wanna Be Sedated” I would love to hear your thoughts on that one. Check out the videos for those songs below.

Simon Cowell; So talented he can make the shape of his signature with his arms

I know many of you will, if you can be bothered, comment with a list of all the major successes these shows have produced. But it really would be a short list wouldn’t it? Personally I would only include Will Young on that list. Also how can a show overhaul its judging panel so extensively and still leave Louis Walsh in place? He’s about as useful as a teapot made of dog turds.

Louis looking remarkably like a dog turd teapot in my opinion

And finally spending four hours or whatever the hell it is each weekend watching such mindless drivel as the X Factor is a whole stack of hours that I will never get back. So why don’t we all do something different, something real. Go to a music venue, even if it’s just live music at a pub. just don’t sit in and allow yourself to become addicted such crap. Let’s start hoisting the flag for real music not puerile, manufactured shite that the X Factor drip feeds you with.

OK hit me with your comments good people! I thought for little while about what song to finish with. It had to be X Factor related yet not X Factor related at the same time. So it had to be Lauryn Hill with “Ex Factor”

 

“Now hold on a minute before we go much further, give me a dime so I can phone my mother” April 17, 2011


Dizzee enjoyed dressing as an 18th Century poet whilst promenading with a powerful female. Thatcher hasnt aged well has she?

Hello people, I have some assorted bits of music related news for you in todays post. Some old, some new and some strange. Beginning with Dizzee Rascal, who according to the UK tabloid press has an addiction. But not to drugs, drink, sex or gambling, but to 18th century poets. He is very much into his Wordsworth, Byron, Blake and Keats. Mr Rascal, formerly known as Dylan Mills, is hoping that classical English poetry will have an influence on his next album. Sounds interesting doesn’t it? Read about it here in the soaraway Sun and be careful your phone isn’t tapped!

Simon makes one last appearance on Page Three before he departs for the USA

Most of you probably know that Simon Cowell will be leaving the UK version of X Factor to launch and take part in the US version. It still seems most likely that he will take Cheryl Cole with him, providing the Americans can understand her one assumes. My only wish is that the opportunity is taken to get rid of Louis Walsh. What do you think and also who would your ideal fantasy X Factor judging panel consist of? My vote would be Lily Allen, Keith Richards, Jeremy Paxman and Nick Clegg. The latter choice is largely because there should always be one idiot on the panel and surely he will be out of a job soon won’t he?

Clearly Liam was buzzing about the new Beady Eye Bee Side

You’ve probably all heard of the post Oasis band Beady Eye, which is basically Oasis without Noel. I have listened to their album and it’s not bad, it’s hardly ‘Definitely Maybe’  or ‘Morning Glory’ but it’s ok. Anyway this isn’t a review but a rather strange piece of news about Liam Gallagher. According to a report in the NME (click here to read it) he likes to warm up before he goes on stage by listening to Rod Stewart’s “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”, let’s pray he doesn’t do a cover version of it! What song do you use to get pumped up before work? For me it’s often “Complete Control” by the Clash or “Do Anything You Wanna Do” by the Rods.

Billie Joe auditions for a part in the new version of Snow White

Tom Hanks is currently preparing to produce a film adaptation of Green Day’s ‘American Idiot’ album. The director is likely to be Michael Mayer who was the director for the ‘American Idiot’ Broadway musical. Could this be this generation’s ‘Tommy’? Only time will tell. Click here to read the NME report. What album would you like to see turned into a film? I would definitely vote for David Bowie’s ‘Diamond Dogs’

And finally how small do you think the world’s smallest working guitar actually is? Well you’re probably wrong. It is in fact no bigger than a human blood cell and obviously impossible to be played in a conventional way. It has to be played by having lasers directed at the strings. Read more about the Nano Guitar in the Guardian by clicking here.

 

“Waters runnin’ in the wrong direction, got a feelin’ its a mixed up sign” December 13, 2010


How the hell do they keep slim with all those calories????

Hello once again dear readers and we’re passed the halfway mark to Chrimbo on my UK Christmas Number One Advent Calendar. It’s December 13th and todays treat is the first of the reality TV Pop Idol/ X Factor songs to take the Christmas number one spot. It was number one in Christmas 2002 and was begotten by ‘PopStars: The Rivals’ That show formed a boy band and a girl band and then put them into a Christmas chart battle. The winner by a long way was Girls Aloud with “Sound Of The Underground”. Can anyone remember the name of the losing boy band? it was One True Voice and their single was a double A side with “Sacred Trust/ After You’re Gone”. The girls were number one for four weeks that Christmas.

The girls would do anything to get a part in the next Pirates Of The Caribbean movie, even walk the plank!

Personally I kind of like that first Girls Aloud single, it’s still my favourite of theirs. Remember this was back in the days before Cheryl Cole  was Cheryl Cole and before she became the Nation’s Sweetheart and launched her lip syncing solo career. Back then she was just plain (well some would say not so plain!) Cheryl Tweedy. It’s funny how the little altercation in a nightclub toilet from those days seems to have been airbrushed from Cheryl history isn’t it? Anyway check out Lily Allen’s “Cheryl Tweedy” here.

The judges for Popstars: The Rivals were Pete Waterman, Gerri Halliwell and Louis Walsh. Will someone please explain how such a dipstick as Louis has survived so long in the business? I really don’t get it. As for Girls Aloud, whether you love them or hate them you have to admit that they are one of the few reality TV acts with any degree of longevity. Cheryl has now released two solo albums whilst Nadine Coyle has just released her first. Kimberley Walsh, Nicola Roberts and Sarah Harding have all tried their hands at acting as well.

No airbrushing here is there! 😉

 

“Where the thunder turns around they’ll run so hard we’ll tear the ground away” November 15, 2010


Dear readers I have recently encountered a real problem. As many of you know I am not the world’s biggest Robbie Williams fan, in fact I take many opportunities to disparage the Robster. However my problematical dilemma is that I like the new Take That album (Robbie is a member again for now) and I also like the song he recorded with Gary Barlow for his current greatest hits package. I can just about live with all that I suppose. But if I ever tell you that I really love Robbie’s awful dirge “Angels” or that I have become a fan of JLS or Boylife or Westzone (I believe that Boyzone and Westlife are truly interchangeable) then take me to the vet and have me put down humanely!

Take That prepare to become David Haye's next victims!

Whilst talking of Take That, JLS and Westlife they all appeared on this weekend’s light entertainment show (it really, really isn’t a talent show is it?) the X Factor. Take That performed “The Flood” which was a million times better than the dreadful shite that JLS and Westlife performed. The JLS song, “Love You More” is at least raising money for the BBC’s Children In Need appeal, whereas Westlife’s “Safe” is just awful and not for charity. As usual there was a controversial vote, Aidan Grimshaw was booted out, very deservedly so in my opinion, at the expense of Katie Waissel. One has to ask what has she ever done to the people who vote on the show that she regularly receives fewer votes than Wagner (pronounced Vagner except for the old Irish windbag Louis Walsh!) But seriously, how can it be classed as a talent show whilst people like Wagner progress so far?

The real reason Robbie rejoined Take That is that he saw the on stage perks they now recieved! ............ While you're down there indeed!

But by far the biggest controversy about the show this weekend was whether or not Cheryl Cole farted whilst giving her verdict on Cher Lloyd on Saturday’s show. It’s a story carried by many of the UK tabloids, personally I reckon she did, what do you think? Did Cheryl really fart on live TV or is it just another whiff of hype from the X Factor machine. Cast your vote below and remember you will still have to pay me if you try to vote after the poll has closed.  😉

I wonder if that incident will give her new single “Promise This”  a little extra wind to take it into the charts? Is it me or do the tights/ stockings she is wearing in the video look like artistic skid marks?

Holy Moly said she was going for a Bram Stoker's Dracula look, personally I think it was a cross between Princess Leia off of Star Wars and Minnie Mouse!

Let me finish with a question for you. How should one describe a Boyband that are no longer boys? I don’t know the answer but I would love to hear your suggestions. I have heard Manband used, but frankly that sounds like something a gentleman of a ‘certain’ age might use in conjunction with Viagra.

 

“Fire in the Disco, fire in the Taco Bell” November 9, 2009


Hello once again good people of blogworld. I felt that it was about time I posted again as it’s been nearly a month, my excuse if you’re interested is that I started a new job just about a month ago and I have been just a little busy. But enough of that and on with the post!

Have you read in the press about the celebrations accompanying the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall? I can’t believe that it was 20 years ago, can you? Anyway part of the celebrations involved a concert near the site of the old east-west barrier which included a twenty minute set from U2. The whole shebang was promoted and I believe set up by MTV. I assume that they have some highly paid and highly skilled PR people working for them. Highly paid maybe but highly skilled I doubt very much. Why do I draw this conclusion? Well largely because in their infinite wisdom MTV decided to ensure that the 10,000 ticket holders were going to be the only people that would see the stage. How did they do this? Well they built a wall of course! Did no one see the irony in this? Many German Radio Stations with tickets to give away in competitions sent them back in protest and I must say that I don’t blame them. You can read about it here

U2

Even the combined weight of the giant members of U2 couldn't crush MTV's Berlin Wall

It’s been a while since I last posted any criticism of the banking industry, but now those poor impoverished bankers (apologies I should have started that with a W rather than a B shouldn’t I?) are getting close to their bonus levels of old the time is surely ripe. What I will never understand is how a bunch of people who came close to destroying the whole industry and have caused serious damage to the world economy should be paid any form of bonus? What the f*ck is that all about. Anyway if that wasn’t bad enough it has been brought to my attention that Wall Street Banks Goldman Sachs, Citigroup and Morgan Stanley have bullied their way to the front of the queue for the swine flu vaccine H1N1. At the same time many health care workers, pregnant women and people at risk are still waiting. Click here to read the story. It used to be said that in the event of a nuclear catastrophe in the world the creatures that would survive and thrive in post apocalyptic times would be rats and cockroaches. I believe that is still essentially true, however I think that bankers should also be added to that list although perhaps they are just rats and cockroaches already! What do you think? OK as I have said many times before that this is essentially a music blog so let me bring so music into it, something relevant to the story of course.

Rat In Mi Kitchen” – UB40. The band bought their first instruments with £4,000 compensation that former lead singer Ali Campbell received from injuries he received in a bar fight as a 17-year-old. Compensation people, not a bonus ok!

Reward” – Teardrop Explodes. One of the bands early singles was “Bouncing Babies” which actually had its own tribute song released by the Freshies, “I Can’t Get Bouncing Babies By The Teardrop Explodes

fatcat-banker

A banker with swine flu.........'nuff said!

Another story in yesterdays newspaper was about yet another failure in the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Cerne. It has just been returned to service after nearly a year out of action and £23 million of repairs following a serious electrical fault in September 2008. The LHC in simple terms is trying to recreate conditions that existed just before the Big Bang that created the universe billions of years ago. The search for the elusive ‘god particle’ was stopped this time by another power cut. How was this caused? Well when an LHC support worker found the source of the outage he found a piece of bread being eaten by a bird! I wonder if the bread was the remains of an LHC workers lunch or was it manna from heaven? I thought I’d include the last comment to placate any creationists that might be reading this, you’re wrong but at least I placated you! You can read the Guardian’s article on this incident by clicking here. I must add that this is also one of the headlines of the year too! Big Bang Goes Phut As Bird Drops Baguette Into Cern Machinery!

bird bread

This time those boffins at the large hadron collider in Cern had made sure that their plans for a big bang would not be upset by some bird brained idea. Crustice had to be seen to be done

Danger High Voltage” – Electric Six. A rather excellent song and listen out for the counter point vocal from none other than Jack White off of the White Stripes, Raconteurs and Dead Weather

And finally I simply have to mention ITV’s X Factor, sadly I have been hooked beyond the point where all the no hopers have gone (well except for john and Edward, although more about them later). Finally this week John and Edward (or Jedward as the tabloids have christened them) made it into the bottom two this weekend. I would have expected Simon Cowell to use his casting vote to cast them out, but he chose to put it to the public vote which meant that Lucie Jones leaves the show. I never have had any respect for Louis Walsh but I used to maintain a degree of respect for Mr Cowell. However that has completely gone now. Given the opportunity to rid us of Jedward he copped out, or did he simply want to get rid of the act most likely to beat one of the acts he is mentoring. At this point I really hope that Jedward win the competition, not because I think that they have any talent or deserve to win, but simply because that would mean Mr Cowell would have to give these two walking toilet brushes a £1 million recording contract. Perhaps that would finally kill off awful TV shows like X Factor. Big Brother is dead now let’s kill the X Factor!

Toilet-Brushes

John and Edward

jedward

Two toilet brushes

 

 
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