With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music reviews, gig reviews, fun trivia and extra added random stuff!

“Aunty Milly, ran willy nilly when her legs they did recede” December 8, 2010


So here we are then ready to reveal what’s behind the cardboard door of my UK Christmas Number Ones Advent Calendar for December 8th. Where the hell does the time go? Anyway today’s choice whizzes you way back through the sands of time to the Christmas of 1968 when “Lily The Pink” was number one for the Scaffold. It held sway at the top for three weeks. There were supported by some big stars although to be fair one of them hadn’t become a star at that point. Backing vocals on the song were provided by our stars and those stars were Elton John, who was not much more than a small stone in the celebrity universe at that time and Graham Nash off of the Hollies and later Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. In fact it is thanks to Mr Nash that the line “Jennifer Eccles had terrible freckles” was added to the song. In reference to the Hollies smash “Jennifer Eccles

The song was based on a traditional folk song “The Ballad Of Lydia Pinkham” although the band provided most of the new lyrics. The band was from Liverpool and counted Mike McGear, Paul McCartney‘s brother among their members along with Roger McGough and John Gorman. The Scaffold performed a lot of McGough’s poetry in their live shows and they also had two other top 10 UK hits with “Thank U Very Much” in 1967 and “Liverpool Lou” in 1974. The latter was recorded with Paul McCartney and Wings.

Not the Scaffold at all, just an excuse for me to show another picture of the delightful Lily Allen........ Lily In Pink!

The band broke up in the late 70s but have reformed on a few occasions, often for charity and most recently to record a special song to commemorate Liverpool’s year as UK City Of Culture in 2008. Enjoy the band performing the song below.

 

“I’ll be your clown or your puppet or your April Fool, cut my hair I’ll even wear a mask” December 7, 2010


December 7th and just 18 days to go now until the big bearded bloke in red arrives on your roof. It’s strange isn’t it that we spend much of our lives telling our children not to speak to strangers but come Christmas we effectively tell them a fat, old, loudly dressed bloke is going to break into their house and leave them presents. It seems a bit strange when you look at it that way doesn’t it? Anyway enough of that nonsense, let’s open the door for december 7th on my UK Christmas Number Ones Advent Calender. Forgive me but this one really is a steaming pile of number twos, but I bet if you listen to it just once you won’t get it out of your head for ages.

Little Jimmy

It still holds the record for the youngest artist ever to have a UK number one, he was just 9 years and 8 months. Laydeez and Gennermen I give you….. LITTLE…… JIMMY……..OSMOND!!! Yes it is time to dust off that bloody awful song (well in my opinion anyway) “Long Haired Lover From Liverpool”. The song was number one at Christmas 1972 and stayed there for 5 weeks and sold just short of 1 million copies. I hope all 998,000 of you still feel guilty! Sadly it went to number one on December 23rd 1972 thus preventing Chuck Berry‘s “My Ding-A-Ling” from staying on top for Christmas!

Big Jimmy

Little Jimmy rode the successful wave of his siblings success, along with the Jackson 5 the Osmonds were one of the biggest pop bands on the planet in the early part of the 70s. In fact the Osmonds first big hit in the UK was “One Bad Apple” which is a very good song, but in my opinion is very much identikit Jackson 5. What do you think?

See You Jimmy

James Arthur Osmond, (for that is Little Jimmy’s real name) went on to become quite a good friend of Michael Jackson. He went on to work for the King Of Pop during the ‘Bad’ Tour in the 80s. The Japanese leg of the tour was sponsored by Pepsi and the Japanese TV Company Nippon TV. It was Jimmy that negotiated the sponsorship deal with Nippon TV.

Here is Master Osmond with that bloody song!

And if you thought that was annoying how about his cover of the Connie Francis song “Tweedle Dee”?

 

” “ December 6, 2010


OK people after last year you know exactly how to stop the X Factor winner making it to the UK number one spot over Christmas this year. Last time around pop muppet Joe McElderry was beaten to the Christmas number one by the brilliant “Killing In The Name Of” by Rage Against The Machine. This year there is another opportunity to prevent the X Factor lording over the charts once again.

This time it is going to be ” 4’33” ” a recreation of John Cage’s most famous avant-garde work. Well ok Emperor’s New Clothes time here, it is in fact 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence. This may sound somewhat mental, however by downloading the piece you will be helping a number of charities including, Calm, a service for young men at risk of suicide, the British Tinnitus Association, Youth Music, Nordoff Robbins Music Therapy and Sound & Music, a charity promoting challenging new music and sound art. On top of that you will dent the next X Factor Muppets progress.

If only he'd been clearer about his wish. He hadn't really wished for a 12 inch pianist had he?

Many artists have participated by errr….. recording their silence. Those include;  Fyfe Dangerfield off of the Guillemots, Unkle’s James Lavelle, Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip, some Kooks, Heaven 17, Matty off of the Infadels, Suggs off of Madness, Orbital, Pendulum and Billy Bragg. Pete Doherty apparently failed to turn up. Read the story here on the BBC News site. Join the Facebook campaign here and let’s make Cage Against The Machine the Christmas Number One this year!

By the way, I realise there is no real title to this post, but what did you expect?

 

“The five years we have had have been such good times, I still love you”


Well aren’t those December days just rushing past, this is the sixth day of my UK Christmas Number Ones Advent Calendar and therefore it must be (a bit of an easy one this) December 6th. So go ahead put your fingernail in the frame of the little cardboard door and pull it open carefully. Todays song takes us back to Christmas 1981. It’s those good Sheffield folk, the Human League with a little ditty called “Don’t You Want Me”. It was number one for five weeks in total and became the 30th different UK Christmas number one.

The hair and make-up artist left the country after this job

It was the band’s only UK number one and also reached the top in the US charts as well. They went on to have a further number one in the US with the excellent “Human” in 1986. “Don’t You Want Me” has become a bit af a party staple, I certainly play it at pretty much every mobile DJ gig I ever do. Yet another 80s song that I like, what’s up with me? The 80s was generally crap, wasn’t it?

In the early days Phil could only afford half a haircut

The band released their first single, “Being Boiled” in June 1978. The NME review was quite positive, although guest reviewer John Lydon dismissed the band as trendy hippies. Apparently David Bowie saw them play live at the end of 1978 and allegedly claimed that he had ‘seen the future of Pop Music’. They were even name checked in the Undertones song “My Perfect Cousin” with the line; ‘His mother bought him a synthesiser/Got the Human League in to advise her/Now he’s making lots of noise/Playing along with the art school boys’ An obvious dig at arty music too.

Nowadays Phil (like me) doesn't have any hair to cut

The band originally included Martyn Ware and Ian Craig Marsh who both left in 1980 following a big bust up with Phil Oakey. They went on to form Heaven 17 and thanks to the Human League’s Virgin contract Marsh and Ware also received 1% of royalties from the next League album, which was ‘Dare’ home of “Don’t You Want Me”

The song has been covered a few times, including versions by Alcazar, Mandy Smith and the Farm. Click on the artist names to see and hear those versions.

Enjoy the original Human league video for the song below.

And finally here they are performing the song on Top Of The Pops

 

“Little things I should’ve said and done, I never took the time” December 5, 2010


It’s already December 5th, just less than three weeks before the bearded weirdie arrives on his sleigh, and those little cardboards doors on my UK Christmas Number Ones Advent Calendar a falling like dominoes. Today brings you a veritable treat from the 80s and regular readers will know that’s a decade that is my least favourite in musical terms!

Chris and Neil make a blatant bid for a hit in Russia, either that or they were on the FIFA committee that just awarded the 2018 World Cup to them

Ladies and gentlemen and those gender or species uncertains amongst you I give you the Pet Shop Boys. Their cover of the classic “Always On My Mind” was number one at Christmas 1987 where it stayed for four weeks. Incidentally my daughter Lauren was born that year so that was her first Christmas and just like then she is always on my mind now, even though she may not think so.

Initially the Pet Shop Boys bricked it when asked to cover an Elvis song, but once they had 'Lego' of their anxieties they were fine!

The duo first played the song earlier in the year as part of a TV show to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley. It was so well liked that they decided to record it and release it as a single and the rest as they say, is history! Elvis recorded his version in 1972 shortly after the song had been released as an US single by Brenda Lee. She was one of my Dad’s all time favourite singers. It is believed that the song has been recorded by at least 300 different acts. In addition to Elvis, Brenda Lee and the Pet Shop Boys, my favourite version is probably that by Willie Nelson. His cover was released in 1982 and reached the top spot on the US Country Chart that year.

Th boys prepare, rather badly in fact, for their cover of "You Don't Bring Me Flowers"

The Pet Shop Boys version was the third of their four UK number ones, they only reached number one in the US chart once. That was with “West End Girls” which was their first UK number one. They did however reach the summit of the US Dance Charts some nine times between 1984 and 2009. Finally, for the record, the group’s name has absolutely nothing to do with hamsters, guinea pigs, cardboard tubes and insertion into bodily orifices. They were originally known as West End and Chris and Neil felt that the nickname of their two friends who worked in a pet shop would work better than that!

Enjoy the Pet Shop Boys video for the song from 1987 below

Here is the excellent Willie Nelson version

Followed by the former Little Miss Dynamite, Brenda Lee

And finally it’s Elvis Aaron Presley‘s version

 

“I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take” December 4, 2010


After the success of his version of Mad World Gary planned to get a star tattoo for each finger

Are you waiting to open the door for the 4th December on my UK Christmas number ones advent calendar? I hope so. Apologies for being a little tardy with this one, let’s blame the weather shall we? Anyway as you open that cardboard flap very carefully you will be releasing “Mad World” by  Gary Jules and Michael Andrews. The song was originally a hit for Tears For Fears back in 1982 when it reached number 3 in the UK chart. The song was the third single from the band and was written by Roland Orzabal.It was originally the B Side of the band’s second single “Pale Shelter (You Don’t Give Me Love)

Surely Curt's hairstyle was never cool, not even in the 80's. Was it?

The Gary Jules and Michael Andrews version is slowed down and in my opinion almost menacing at times. It was taken from the soundtrack from one of my favourite films, ‘Donnie Darko‘. It was number one in the UK during Christmas 2003 and held the pole position for three weeks. It also reached number one in Canada and Portugal. It has been covered by quite a diverse group of acts including Adam Lambert and Die Toten Hosen. TV shows have used it to great effect on many occasions too including CSI, Smallville and the Vicar Of Dibley.

Success didn't really go to Gary's head, but he was turning into the Incredible Hulk or maybe the Jolly Green Giant (OK that was really corny wasn't it?)

Michael Andrews is well-known for his film scores, including Donnie Darko (obviously), My Suicidal Sweetheart and Funny People. Gary Jules is attributed with what in my opinion is a truly wonderful quote. “I found out that people through the ages are exactly the same as now, they had the same issues, the same desires. One thing that’s clear when you read old literature is that there are some great universal truths – things like fart jokes, guys screwing other people’s wives and the hunger for power.” I have to agree on the fart jokes comment.

Enjoy the Gary Jules and Michael Andrews version below

Here are Tears For Fears performing the original song on Top Of The Pops in 1982

And finally experience Die Toten Hosen playing (or maybe murdering) the song live.

 

“She said she’d like to bathe in milk, he said, ‘All right, sweetheart'” December 3, 2010


So let’s open that little cardboard door for December 3rd shall we? What’s behind it? It’s not chocolate but it might relate to one of the ingredients used in some chocolate, yes it has a link to milk! A milk related Christmas number one? Whatever could it be? Well obviously it’s “Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)” by Benny Hill. It was number one in the UK during Christmas 1971 and stayed on top for 4 weeks. It actually prevented the T Rex classic “Jeepster” from reaching the top.

The song was chosen by David Cameron as one of his Desert Island Discs, he said that it was one of the few songs he could remember all the words to. As many of you regular readers will know my Dad was a Milkman (as was Benny Hill incidentally) . My Dad spent twenty-seven years with Express Dairies serving customers in Uxbridge, Middlesex. I had the great honour and pleasure of working as his milk boy from 1970 until 1975. Oh and by the way he wasn’t called Ernie, he, like me, was called Bill, or William if you prefer to be formal. But there was a milkie at the same depot called Ernie and he really did get fed up of that song. I know it’s a novelty song, but I still like it, I hope you enjoy it too!

 

“I write “I’m sorry” but my letter keeps coming back” December 2, 2010


Here we are on December 2nd and the second day of my Christmas Advent Calendar. As I said yesterday, this year it’s all about UK Christmas number ones, next up is one of my favourite Elvis songs. It may not be classic Sun Records or Elvis or Memphis Sessions Elvis, but it’s definitely not Fat Elvis! It’s a truly classic pop song and it’s “Return To Sender”. It was the UK Christmas number one for 1962, just before my 4th birthday (wow that’s bloody old!) it held the top spot for three weeks. The session player who provided the baritone saxophone sound was in fact Bobby Keys. He has played with the Rolling Stones for years and also played on George Harrison‘s ‘All Things Must Pass’ album.

Elvis clearly didn't trust the US Postal Service so he delivered this one directly to President 'Tricky Dicky' Nixon

and here is an extract from that very letter to Nixon

On January 8th 1993, what would have been Presley’s 58th birthday the US Postal Service released a set of Elvis stamps. Apparently many people bought them and used them to send letters to fictitious addresses in the hope that they would be returned stamped ‘RETURN TO SENDER‘!

Here is Elvis performing the song as Ross Carpenter in the film ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’

Here is a later period (Fat Elvis) with a live version of the song

I’d like to finish with two postal related songs for your further pleasure. Starting with “Blame It On The Pony Express” from Johnny Johnson and the Bandwagon. I love that song. After that you’ll get the Box Tops with “The Letter”

 

“Arms that chain us, arms that lie” December 1, 2010


So the X Factor finalists have their own Top Trumps game? In my opinion it's kind of appropriate as trump is another word for fart and this bunch barely have a muppet fart of talent between them!

Firstly this post is NOT in my Advent Calendar series OK? It’s another random selection of music stuff. Firstly and I am saddened to say it in many, many ways a Bowie song is at number one in the UK. It’s the X Factor finalists cover of Bowie’s “Heroes” Thankfully I haven’t been able to hear Wagner on the recording. The singles only other saving grace is that it is raising funds for the ‘Help For Heroes‘ charity which supports those British soldiers that have been injured in the ridiculous wars in Iraq and Afghanistan that we followed the Americans into. But believe me, it is the UK Government I have a gripe with and especially former Prime Minister Tony Blair, I have every respect for all the British troops that are out there right now. Go and buy the single and throw it away if you have to. In the meantime take a look at the classic original below.

You know I always thought that Santa's Elves were a little more cuddly than this!

Next some very good X Factor related news. Corey Taylor off of Slipknot has recorded a Christmas single and he wants it to beat whatever single the X Factor show produces for the Christmas slot. Let’s get behind this one people, let’s make Corey this years “Killing In The Name Of“. Buy it and keep a muppet off the number one spot. The song is called “X-M@$”. Check it out below and click here to read the NME report about the song.

US politics often baffles me, especially where outgoing officials are allowed to grant pardons for previous misdemeanours by various criminals, jailbirds and wrongly accused. However I was pleasantly surprised to read that the ousted Governor of Florida, Charlie Crist, has issued a pardon for Jim Morrison off of the Doors following the singers arrest for allegedly getting his todger out on stage in Miami in 1969. Fair play Charlie and frankly, about bloody time too! It has always bothered me that with all the people and all the police at that concert there was never any evidence to prove that Jim actually did the deed. Read about the pardon by clicking here.

Enjoy “Break On Through” below

Apparently it was the dog's bollocks that Jim exposed, not his own!

 

“R is for the reindeer prancing by the window pane”


Before X factor the race for the UK Christmas number one was often quite exciting, well at least it was for a teenager like me. Well ok I’m not a teenager anymore, but I was…… honest! So to follow-up my Facebook experiment last year I will be undertaking a post a day until Christmas and whereas last years were all about cover versions, this years advent calendar from me is all about UK Christmas number ones over the years. There have been nearly 60 and I promise you that some you will love and frankly there will be some that you won’t.

So to kick things off by opening the little cardboard door on my advent calendar for Decemebr 1st and behind that door is…….. “Christmas Alphabet” by Dickie Valentine. This was Christmas number one in the UK in 1955 and stayed at the summit for three weeks. Dickie’s parents name him Richard Bryce when he was born in Marylebone in London. This song was the first actual Christmas song to reach number one in the UK. It was also his second number one of the year and a further three top ten hits. Being a crooner it was probably the advent of rock n roll that stilted Dickie’s career. Sadly he died in a car crash in Wales in 1971 aged just 41.

Here is Dickie with his Christmas Alphabet

And now a cover of the song from the first Carpenters Christmas Special TV show, sung by Karen Carpenter and Kristy McNichol

And finally here is Dickie once again with “Mister Sandman” hmmmmmmm………I wonder if there is a mash-up out there of this song and Metallica’s “Enter Sandman“?