With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music trivia, useless info, extra added random stuff and the odd rant from me

Brit Awards 2014 – Wednesday February 19th 2014 February 19, 2014


brits 2014The Brits has kicked off well with a storming “R U Mine” from those Sheffield scallywags the Arctic Monkeys. Will it all go downhill from here? Let’s find out shall we? Well at least James Corden was finally on fire for the first time hosting this show. Well the sleeve of his jacket was to set up a lame joke about the Arctic Monkey‘s pyrotechnics. Thankfully this will be his last Brits. The British Female Brit award was presented the shortest man in music Prince Rogers Nelson accompanied by his new band. Corden interrupted for a selfie with the purple one. Ellie Goulding won it and given the nominees deservedly so in my opinion. She was somewhat awed by meeting Prince too.

Katy Perry was next on stage and she went a bit Stargate Cleopatra on us. She sang “Dark Horse” from her new album ‘Prism’. I presume it’s not a George Harrison tribute. Kylie and Pharrell Williams presented the International Male solo Artist award after more inane and unfunny shite from Corden. It was won by Bruno Mars; personally I expected it to go to Justin Timberlake although I would have voted for Eminem.

Tinie Tempah and Fearne Cotton rocked up to present the British Breakthrough Act Award. It was well won by the rather excellent Bastille. I love the ‘Bad Blood’ album. Sadly Corden was back after that with a dreadful interview with One Direction which included some pathetic jokes about Justin Bieber in prison. Then we were subjected to Bruno Mars with “Treasure”. But to be fair I judged him too soon, that was a good performance. Really classy modern R & B.

Next up a welcome return from Lily Allen to present the award for Best British Group. Thank fuck it wasn’t won by Wand Erection. It went to a proper band instead. The marvellous Arctic Monkeys. The previously known winner of the newcomer award was the understated but talented Sam Smith.

Now we have the Global Success Award presented by Rosie double-barreled surname. Who the fuck is she? Was this Award manufactured for the ultimate manufactured band One Direction? Can’t we just sell them to the USA? Is Harry Styles having a wee the most controversial act of this years show? Sadly it probably is. The revolution doesn’t start here!

Beyonce live, now that was bloody good in my opinion. But was she lip syncing “XO”? The nest award was for best British single, presented by Katy Perry. Was she trying an English accent? Won by the fabulous Rudimental which thankfully beat Olly Murs and Wand Erection.

The first collaboration of this years show was Disclosure and Lorde with a really cool and funky take on Lorde’s “Royals”. Followed by a brilliant live rendition of “White Noise” with Aluna. The International Group award was presented by Cesc Fabregas (WTF?) and Nicole Scherzinger. The winners were Daft Punk. Could it really have been anyone else? The legend that is Nile Rodgers collected the award on their behalf.

Ellie Goulding was next to perform. She did “I Need Your Love” and “Burn”. I loved the massed percussion during “Burn”. I have really grown to like Ellie’s music. Noel Gallagher was there to present the best male solo artist award. Let’s hope he has a new album out soon. Fuck me Bowie’s only gone and won it! Kate Moss accepted it on Bowie’s behalf at his personal behest. A brilliant speech written by the Dame too. This has made my night!

Nick Grimshaw that bloke from Radio One who is moderately more talented than Chris Moyles stepped up to present the International Female solo artist award. Lorde was the winner and a bloody good choice too.  Bowie is a Lorde fan. Then we had yet another shite interview by Corden with Nile Rodgers and Pharrell Williams. The British Video award was voted for live on Twitter during the show and was presented by Jimmy Carr. Sadly it was won by Wand Erection with “Best Song Ever”, but it isn’t is it?

Rudimental and Bastille combined on stage to become Bastimental for the night. It certainly made up for a second 1D award for the night. Blimey just how sexy is Ella Eyre? Now we are onto the final award of the night, it’s the one that everyone wants. It’s best album and it was presented by Emilie Sande. It went to the Arctic Monkeys. It is a great album, but I was hoping for a second Brit of the night for David Robert Jones. But well done to Alex and the boys, although their acceptance speech was largely bollocks wasn’t it?

The show was closed by Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers. What a barnstorming performance from two music masters. “Get Lucky”, “Good Times”, “Happy” the hits just kept coming. Overall I think this years show was an improvement on last year. Some marks out of ten from me; James Corden 1/10, Bowie winning a Brit 10/10 and for the overall show 5/10 could do better.

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“Life is so unpredictable, yeah” January 9, 2014

Filed under: News — justwilliam1959 @ 8:49 pm
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Justin-bieber-funny-justin-bieber-10889956-399-266Have the Beliebers started to lose faith in their pop Muppet Apollo? Certainly in the UK it would seem that the belief level among the once fundamentalist Beliebers has fallen drastically. Justin’s latest album failed to make the UK top 40. Its first week sales propelled it to the less than heady heights of number 46 and the following week it barely managed to stay in the top 100 falling a staggering 48 places to number 94. It is only a fan compilation, however it is also the first time an album of his has failed to reach the UK top 20. However the chart is not necessarily a barometer of quality given that One Direction are now number one and Olly Murs is at number 4. Given that Mr Bieber has 48 million Twitter followers though that chart performance must be disappointing. USA sales figures for the album are unavailable.

justin-bieber-funny-picturesIs this as a result of his announcement that he is retiring? Is he really retiring? His management says that he isn’t. I will continue to belieb believe that he is though, how about you. I think the retirement of the Canadian monkey botherer can only have a positive effect on the world of Pop and music in general. What do you think?

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“I think it went oh, oh, oh, I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah” September 9, 2013


1D bridesmaids

I don’t often issue public health warnings on this blog, in fact this may be the first one that I have ever done. I need to make you aware that something which could severely damage your ears and your hearing will be happening in November. Those with little taste will be most susceptible to damage and there will be millions who are already beyond help. It is with great regret that I announce the release date of the new Wand Erection album. It will be called ‘Midnight Memories’; if only the band were just memories. It will be followed with a stadium tour in 2014 including 5 dates in the UK.

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In other 1D news Aston Villa and England’s Gabby Agbonlahor has received death threats via Twitter from a number of One Direction fans. What dastardly deed did Gabby undertake? He tackled 1D’s Louis Tomlinson in a charity football match and injured the poor little lamb. It shouldn’t have surprised Tomlinson too much, he is after all actually on the books of a UK football club. He is a development player allocated squad number 28 for Doncaster Rovers in the 2013/ 14 season.

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Given that some pathetic internet trolls have previously targeted members of the band with vile and abusive posts I find it somewhat unsavoury and sadly ironic that many of One Direction’s less intelligent fans are resorting to exactly the same bullying kind of language. My advice to those poor deluded souls is to chill out and laugh it off. Gabby has already apologised for upsetting poor little Louis. There are far, far worse things going on in the world. I wish no harm to the members of Wand Erection, although as a music fan I do hope that their career doesn’t last too much longer. Oops…… maybe I just made myself a target! :-0

Of course don’t forget that the One Direction film is now showing at cinemas. It’s called ‘This Is Us’, which is an anagram of ‘Us Is Shit’!

 

Kate Nash (plus the Tuts) – Fibbers, York Wednesday 17th April 2013 April 20, 2013

Filed under: Review — justwilliam1959 @ 8:26 am
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For only the second time in my life I had the honour of being on the guest list for a gig. This came about after the advent of social networking let me get back in touch with an old school friend from Ryefield Primary School in Hillingdon. That friend is Chris Doveton and we left Ryefield School back in 1970 many years before Kate Nash or the Tuts were even a twinkle in anyones eye. But Chris’s daughter Harriet is one of the Tuts. It was thanks to those three wonderful punky minstrels that make up the Tuts that I was able to test my mettle as a roadie and manning a merchandise stand. I also got to watch Kate Nash and her band and the Tuts run through their sound checks. It was the most fun I have had at a gig in years! All that and Chris and I had our own mini school reunion after more than 30 years.

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Anyway enough of me, this is a gig review after all. So first we had a blistering set from Harriet, Nadia and Bev, collectively known as the Tuts. They were only on stage for 30 minutes but boy did they use that time well. Shades of the Clash, the Libertines, the Runaways, the Donnas and the very best of pop punk. But while there were shades of these other influences there is so much originality and energy from these ladies that I would say the rest is 95% pure Tutness. They have some great self penned songs; “Dump Your Boyfriend” and “Tut Tut Tut” are particular favourites of mine and they also do an electrifying cover of the Clash’s “Rudie Can’t Fail“. The acid test for any band is of course would I go and see them again and the answer for the Tuts is of course I bloody would and so should you if you get the chance!

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Kate Nash has been in the business for years now and she is still only 25. Her first big UK chart success came with the wonderful “Foundations” in 2007; it reached number 2. I had the opportunity to chat briefly to Kate before her show and at the end when Chris and I were loading the Tuts equipment into the car. Unlike many other people who have been in the business for so long she is bright, smart, friendly, articulate and really caring and decent toward her fans. She signed my copy of her current album ‘Girl Talk’  too. I think it’s incredible that she has developed her music so much in just 6 years and three albums.

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Kate is a superb perform and had the largely female audience rocking for most of the night. Old favourites were there in the shape of “Foundations” and a personal favourite of mine, “Mariella”. She also a played a song that is available on the deluxe edition of her current album “I’m A Feminist And You’re Still A Whore” which I thought was a great addition to the set. Apparently a dickhead on Twitter was giving her some grief over that song earlier in the day. Kate responding by tweeting Patti Smith‘s “Rock ‘n’ Roll Nigger” which went down even worse with the poor deluded twat! Kate is a very vocal supporter of women’s rights and played her song “Free My Pussy” in support of the Russian band Pussy Riot who were shamelessly jailed by the Putin Empire. It’s not my favourite song, but it works and the cause is spot on. There are nowhere near enough people speaking up for Pussy Riot in my opinion, so top marks to Kate!

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I really don’t get how she was dropped by her label last year this girl is a supreme talent and her new album is testament to that. She is passionate about adjusting the balance of women in rock given that the majority of songs are still written by blokes. She encouraged her audience to pick up an instrument, write, play and make music. I hope that many people take that lead and do it. She was also very, very supportive of the Tuts too. We need more artists like Kate Nash. I was a kind of ‘I quite like Kate Nash’ fan before this gig, but now I am very big fan of Kate Nash. If you are going to see her elsewhere on this tour I guarantee that you will enjoy the show, you’ll love the Tuts as well. If you can’t make it to see her this time around you’d better make sure you get tickets for her next tour. I expect you to do your duty and if you don’t………………. I know where you live!

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I was unable to get much video footage of any great quality so here are a trio of songs from Kate’s show at the Sebright Arms earlier in the year.

And finally this is me with Kate at the end of the evening.

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Apart from the above picture and the one of the Tuts in action all were sourced on line.

 

“You can turn this world around and bring back all of those happy days” February 8, 2012


Madonna announced her new world tour shortly after her triumphant appearance at the Super Bowl on Sunday. It’s currently 50 dates including two in the UK and kicking off in Israel in May. Interestingly the supposed pretender to her Madgness’s throne HRH Lady Gaga published details of the stage set for her world tour on Twitter shortly afterwards. Was this part of the grand design, pure chance or was it just dance?

The Gaga set seems to feature a large castle with plenty of walkways into the audience. She also describes an area surrounded by those walkways as the monster pit. This is where her most ardent followers, those she calls her little monsters will want to head for. Particularly as some of those will be specially selected by Haus of Gaga to come backstage later to meet HRH Gaga in person. But the monster pit will only be for those fans who have ‘arrived first, waited all night, + dressed to ‘ball”.

Would I want to be penned in with all those who have waited all night? Maybe not, it could be a bit smelly couldn’t it, especially if any of her little monsters decide to copy her meat dress. But then again at least there would be plenty to snack on. As for being dressed to ball; is it just me or does that suggest a sexual interaction? The phrase to ‘ball’ was a 70s phrase for sex wasn’t it? There was even a track on Marvin Gaye‘s classic album ‘Let’s Get It On‘ called “You Sure Love To Ball

So let me rethink. Do I want to spend a couple of hours hemmed in close to a Gaga fanatic (they were the first to arrive don’t forget) dressed in rotting flesh and ready for sex? Well I suppose that just depends on who it is doesn’t it. Are you listening Catwoman? Will you be wearing the ham and bacon when I get home? I hope so, but don’t do anything rash(er) though.

Click here to read about Madonna’s tour and click here to read about Lady Gaga’s tour.

And to finish here’s a little Billy bonus…………”You Sure Love To Ball” from the late, great Marvin Gaye.

 

“If your having girl problems I feel bad for you son” January 20, 2012

Filed under: News — justwilliam1959 @ 5:53 am
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Firstly thanks to my good friend Mr Horslen for pointing this rather strange story out. Mr Fiddy Pence, aka Half A Dollar, aka Little Sense, aka Curtis James Jackson III and finally aka 50 Cent. It is the latter name that many of you know him as. After his latest escapade I would say that this man could also be known as Complete Knob! He posted some rigged pictures of Jay Z and Beyoncé‘s new baby Ivy Blue Carter. Click here to see them. Are they in bad taste? Probably. Are they particularly funny? Probably not. Has Fiddy had much publicity lately? No. Has he had a lot in recent days? Obviously. Is this just a cynical attempt to get him back in the news? You bet your ass it is!

I’ve always felt that 50 Cent is an ok rapper but perhaps lacks the humour and wit of the best, such as Eminem, and often lacks the intelligence of the truly great rappers, such as Jay Z. Fiddy has also sparked bemusement with some other tweets recently. He said that he wanted to be a bird so that he could fly and shit on people. Then you could say that 50 ‘shat on you’. I think this man is a bird; well he is a bit of a cock isn’t he? He has also tweeted that he doesn’t believe that he has much longer to live, but I wonder whether that is a metaphor for his dying career. read the news about those tweets on the NME site by clicking here.

In some related news Jay Z has vowed to drop the word ‘bitch’ from his lyrics after the birth of his daughter. That will take a lot of effort won’t it? “99 Problems” without ‘bitch’ in it? How’s that going to work? Will he replace with a similar word? Maybe ‘I got 99 problems but a ditch ain’t one’ or ‘I got 99 problems but a twitch ain’t one’. Please use the comments box on this blog to submit your own alternatives to ‘bitch’ and maybe we can send a list to Jay Z or Jay Zed as my good friend Karen McP calls him. Read the Jay Z no bitch story by clicking here.

 

“I’ve walked for miles, my feet are hurting” May 16, 2011


Yet more Gaga news for you today, she certainly knows how to create a media stir for herself doesn’t she. I guess I’m as guilty as the rest too as she does appear here quite a bit. She has become the first celebrity to reach ten million Twitter followers. She tweeted this message to her followers; “10 Million Monsters! I’m speechless, we did it! It’s an illness how I love you. Leaving London smiling”. She was the first to reach nine million in March having overtaken Britney Spears last year. She has 24 million ‘likes’ on Facebook although in terms of celebrities Eminem is ahead of her as is Texas Hold ‘Em Poker.

She also appeared at Radio 1’s Big Weekend in Carlisle this weekend. She dedicated a song to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (aka Wills and Kate) and played a couple of jazz numbers. In her continuing quest to make an entrance unlike any other star she arrived on stage in a coffin. She was dressed in black and apparently wearing a prosthetic pregnancy. Unless of course it was real! Before Gaga’s super injunction takes effect I would like to state categorically that I am not the father! I would like to thank my good friend Nick Horslen for sending me the clip of her stage entrance. Incidentally Nick also categorically denies that he is the father.  Nick also came up with a pun to describe the Gaga entrance that is up there with my worst puns. It went something like this ‘Lady Gaga had a bit of a coffin fit I hear…’ keep taking the tablets Nick!

Now for some non Gaga news. Last week Roger Waters played a few shows at the O2 Arena in London as part of The Wall tour. I would have loved to have gone but I never got around to booking early enough. But a work friend of mine was there and not only was it a great show, but also for the first time since Live 8 in 2005 the remaining members of Pink Floyd (David Gilmour and Nick Mason) joined Waters on stage. To say that I was envious of my friend Grant would be an understatement, being there for that particular performance is one to tell your grandchildren isn’t it? Click here to check it out on the BBC

And finally time for more mondegreens aka misheard lyrics. These were posted in the Rock Of Ages Yahoo Group and there are some real doozies there!

“I bless the rains down in Africa.” (Toto – Africa)
People sing: “I left my brains down in Africa.”

“Might as well face it, You’re addicted to love” (Robert Palmer – Addicted to love)
“Might as well face it, you’re a dick with a glove.” (some people have suggested that they thought this was about Michael Jackson!

“Body’s aching all the time.” (Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody)
“but he’s naked all the time.”

“And as we wind on down the road.” (Led Zeppelin – Stairway to heaven)
“There’s a wino down the road.”

“And kept her apart from the things that she loved.” (The Beatles – Getting Better)
“And kicked her apartment of things that’s Sheila.”

“Excuse me while I kiss the sky.” (Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze)
“Excuse me while I kiss this guy.”

“See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen” (Abba – Dancing Queen)
” See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen.”

“Like a virgin, touched for the very first time” (madonna – Like a Virgin)
“Like a virgin, touched for the thirty-first time”

“We built this city on rock and roll.” (Starship – We built this city)
“We built this city on log and coal.”

“I’ll never be your beast of burden.” (Rolling Stones – Beast of Burden)
“I’ll never leave your pizza burnin’.”

“Here we are now, entertain us.” (Nirvana – Smells like teen spirit)
“Here we are now, in containers.”

“The answer, my friend,
is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.” (Bob Dylan – Blowin’ in the wind)
“The ants are my friends,
they’re blowin’ in the wind
The ants are a-blowin’ in the wind.”

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.” (Green day – Time of your life)
“Another turnip boy, the Ford stuck in the road.”

“Got my mind set on you.” (George Harrison – Got my mind set on you)
“Thought my mom sat on you.”

“There’s a bad moon on the rise.” (Creedence Clearwater Revival – Bad Moon Rising)
“There’s a bathroom on the right.”

Just because I love the song and it doesn’t get played too much here is “Beast Of Burden” by the Stones.

 

 
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