My true love has given me quite a few things so far to help me celebrate the 12 days of Christmas. I’m not quite sure what to do with todays gift of 8 maids a milking; any suggestions? In reality though the milk maid was replaced by industrial milking machines many years ago. Back in 1995 there were 35,741 dairy farmers in the UK, in 2011 there were only 14,793. Surely we are consuming at least as much milk as in 1995 though, aren’t we? Maybe these farmers just own bigger farms and dairy herds these days. I have a tenuous connection to the UK dairy industry as my Dad was a milkman for nearly 30 years. I worked as his milk boy from 1970 to 1975. 
As for todays songs, well let’s just say I am very satisfied indeed with my choices. Firstly I bring you a classic from what is in my opinion an unsung band, the marvellous Be Bop Deluxe with “Maid In Heaven”. The song featured on the bands ‘Futurama’ album from 1975. It was later used as the lead track on the Hot Valves EP and under that guise it reached number 36 in the UK singles chart. The band was formed in 1972 in Wakefield, Yorkshire and the only constant member was leader and guitar hero Bill Nelson. It was Nelson that wrote “Maid In Heaven”. Paul Jeffreys was the bands bass player for a short time in the mid 70s. He also played with Cockney Rebel, the Warm Jets and the Electric Eels. He sadly lost his life aged just 36 as a passenger on Pan Am flight 103 which was brought down over Lockerbie in Scotland in 1988. 
Today’s second song comes from what I would consider to be another unsung band, although they did shine quite brightly from 1995 to the early ‘noughties’. Butch Vig, producer of the seminal Nirvana album ‘Nevermind’ was trying to put a band together during 1994 and decided that he would like to try things with a female vocalist. He and his friend Duke Erikson were shown a video of Shirley Manson singing with Angelfish and decided that she might be perfect for the band that became Garbage. I believe they were very much correct. The track I have selected is, rather obviously, “Milk” from the bands eponymously titled début album from 1995. (Hmmmmm, 1995 eh? Did Garbage precipitate the demise of the UK Dairy industry?) It was the fifth single to be released from that album, following “Vow”, “Only Happy When It Rains”, “Queer” and “Stupid Girl”. The album made it to number 6 in the UK and number 20 in the US, it did make it to the top of the chart in New Zealand though. The single of the song reached number 10 in the UK in late 1996 but failed to make the top 100 in the USA. It wasn’t the bands highest UK chart placing, they had five other top 10 hits. It did marginally climb higher than their James Bond theme song “The World Is Not Enough” from 1999, which stalled at number 11. The song is Shirley Manson’s favourite from the album and was written by Shirley, Butch Vig, Duke Erikson and Steve Marker. Some versions of the song feature some vocals from UK trip hop maestro Tricky. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P99KwIZlsVY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALuZRsFaXas 
“But I am strong I can use my tears to bring you home” a.k.a. 8 Maids a milking December 20, 2012
“Take a sad song and make it better” October 12, 2012
I always get a bit of a good feeling when a favourite song, or even one that I recognise is mentioned in a story, do you? My favourite author Stephen King does it quite often. Now there is a regularly updated site called Small Demons that have compiled a list of the songs mentioned most often in works of fiction. Click here to read about it in the NME. Here is the top 20;
1. The Beatles – ‘Hey Jude’
2. Elvis Presley – ‘Heartbreak Hotel’
3. Led Zeppelin – ‘Stairway To Heaven’
4. USA For Africa – ‘We Are The World’
5. Abba – ‘Dancing Queen’
6. Carl Perkins – ‘Blue Suede Shoes‘
7. The Beatles – ‘Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds‘
8. The Beatles – ‘Eleanor Rigby’
9. Nirvana – ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’
10. Queen – ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’
11. Los Del Rio – ‘The Macarena’
12. Michael Jackson – ‘Beat it’
13. Creedence Clearwater Revival – ‘Proud Mary’
14. OneRepublic – ‘Apologize’
15. The Beatles – ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’
16. The Beatles – ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’
17. ‘Lili Marleen’ (first recorded by Lale Andersen)
18. Michael Jackson – ‘Billie Jean’
19. Bob Dylan – ‘Like A Rolling Stone’
20. Rolling Stones – ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’
I get why some of these would appear, but USA For Africa, “Macarena” and “Apologize”? What’s that all about? “Hey Jude” has been mentioned in Stephen King’s Dark Tower series. The Beatles have a probably unsurprising five titles in the top 20 with Michael Jackson the only other artist with more than one with his two entries. I suppose an entry for the Fab Four‘s “Paperback Writer” would have been quite apt wouldn’t it? Click here to see a longer and nicely pictorial list.
“You’re not down with who I am, look at you now, you’re all in my hands tonight” March 10, 2012
A white parka? Seriously?
XFM listeners recently took part in a poll to name the greatest front man of all time. So many great blokes to choose from and they went for Liam Gallagher. Now don’t get me wrong Liam has been very good in the past, particularly in the early days of Oasis, but the greatest front man of all time? I don’t think so. The full top 20 was;
1. Liam Gallagher
2. Freddie Mercury
3. Dave Gahan
4. Dave Grohl
5. Matt Bellamy
6. Brandon Flowers
7. Morrissey
8. Jim Morrison
9. Kurt Cobain
10. Alex Turner
11. Paul Weller
12. Mick Jagger
13. Tom Meighan
14. Eddie Vedder
15. Joe Strummer
16. Ian Curtis
17. Caleb Followill
18. Ian Brown
19. Thom Yorke
20. Chris Martin
A white double-breasted jacket? Seriously?
I agree with many of these, but I am surprised Robert Plant and John Lydon didn’t make the cut. Who do you think should have been included? Click here to read the report on nme.com.
Liam wasn't very happy with his dental work
“Stones taught me to fly, love taught me to lie” December 17, 2011
Regular readers of this blog know that I really do despise the X Factor and all it stands for. I chose not to watch it this year and a couple of people said to me “you have to watch it, you write a music blog” my response was “that is true, but first and foremost I am a music fan, not a Saturday primetime TV karaoke fan”
Anyway the festival for those of limited talent is over for another year and has launched a whole troupe of pop muppets on the world in the shape of Little Mix. Their first single is a truly awful cover of Damien Rice‘s “Cannonball”. But the good news is that it is not the current favourite for UK Christmas number one. That honour sits with “Wherever You Are” by the Military Wives Choir the new choir project put together by the immensely talented Gareth Malone. Whilst this is not my favourite type of music it is a really beautiful song and vocally it’s a million times better than Little Mix.
The next two favourites across the UK bookmakers are Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and Damien Rice with the original version of “Cannonball”. So I think you know what to do don’t you? Go and buy the Military Wives song and if you must buy Little Mix make sure you buy Military Wives as well. Anyone who is a music fan should do whatever they can to keep the X Factor muppets from the Christmas number one spot. I hope I can count on you to do this!
“A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido” October 16, 2011
I am pleased to see that someone has kicked off a Facebook campaign to make Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” the UK Christmas number one this year. I posted something of a similar sentiment a short while ago, click here to read it. This new Facebook campaign was kicked off in response to the X Factor naming one of this years crop of average karaoke singers, another insipid, bland girl group, Rhythmix. The name is also the name of a UK charity that uses music as and to help children and young people from difficult backgrounds. It gives many young people the opportunity to make music to help them develop and learn. Check out the charity website here.
Simon Cowell will do anything in his desire to rule the world, including throwing babies to sharks
When the charity contacted the X Factor team they were told to “get a lawyer”. Effectively because they didn’t have the rights to the name for use as a band, basically they held the rights for educational purposes only. That’s within the letter of the law I’m sure, but ethically and morally it suggests that Cowell and his cronies are emotionally bankrupt.
Nirvana's unused sleeve for their cover of the Commodores "Brick House"
So let’s get behind this campaign and spoil this years pop muppets Christmas. Click here to find the page on Facebook. In the meantime enjoy the band doing the song at the Reading Festival in 1992. They even insert a short burst of Boston’s “More Than A Feeling” a song fromwhich Kurt Cobain claimed to have ripped off the riff for Teen Spirit from.
“I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now, entertain us” July 30, 2011
Do you ever feel like Big Brother or simply the Nanny State is watching us or coming to get us even? Are there people and organisations out there that would like to control what we see, hear and read? I believe that there are. I guess the recent phone hacking debacle has gone some way to proving this. If scum tabloid newspapers can get away for years with listening to people voice messages (and who knows what else) then what the hell must the ‘powers that be’ get up to?
Spencer Elden recreates that classic album cover aged 17
So a small part of this kind of state is reflected in the recent action by Facebook. They removed a picture of the iconic cover of Nirvana’s classic album ‘Nevermind‘ from the album’s Facebook page. Presumably because it shows……..shock, horror…. a baby penis! They have apparently rectified what has been described as an administrative error, personally I see it as more of a cock-up. What do you think?
Spencer Elden in a TV appearance around the time he turned 20 earlier in 2011
Click here to read about it in the Guardian. Spencer Elden, now aged 20, was the baby in the picture. In 2008 he was quoted as saying “Quite a few people in the world have seen my penis, so that’s kinda cool.” He is the son of a friend of Nirvana’s photographer.
“I’ve walked for miles, my feet are hurting” May 16, 2011
Yet more Gaga news for you today, she certainly knows how to create a media stir for herself doesn’t she. I guess I’m as guilty as the rest too as she does appear here quite a bit. She has become the first celebrity to reach ten million Twitter followers. She tweeted this message to her followers; “10 Million Monsters! I’m speechless, we did it! It’s an illness how I love you. Leaving London smiling”. She was the first to reach nine million in March having overtaken Britney Spears last year. She has 24 million ‘likes’ on Facebook although in terms of celebrities Eminem is ahead of her as is Texas Hold ‘Em Poker.
She also appeared at Radio 1’s Big Weekend in Carlisle this weekend. She dedicated a song to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (aka Wills and Kate) and played a couple of jazz numbers. In her continuing quest to make an entrance unlike any other star she arrived on stage in a coffin. She was dressed in black and apparently wearing a prosthetic pregnancy. Unless of course it was real! Before Gaga’s super injunction takes effect I would like to state categorically that I am not the father! I would like to thank my good friend Nick Horslen for sending me the clip of her stage entrance. Incidentally Nick also categorically denies that he is the father. Nick also came up with a pun to describe the Gaga entrance that is up there with my worst puns. It went something like this ‘Lady Gaga had a bit of a coffin fit I hear…’ keep taking the tablets Nick!
Now for some non Gaga news. Last week Roger Waters played a few shows at the O2 Arena in London as part of The Wall tour. I would have loved to have gone but I never got around to booking early enough. But a work friend of mine was there and not only was it a great show, but also for the first time since Live 8 in 2005 the remaining members of Pink Floyd (David Gilmour and Nick Mason) joined Waters on stage. To say that I was envious of my friend Grant would be an understatement, being there for that particular performance is one to tell your grandchildren isn’t it? Click here to check it out on the BBC
And finally time for more mondegreens aka misheard lyrics. These were posted in the Rock Of Ages Yahoo Group and there are some real doozies there!
“I bless the rains down in Africa.” (Toto – Africa)
People sing: “I left my brains down in Africa.”
“Might as well face it, You’re addicted to love” (Robert Palmer – Addicted to love)
“Might as well face it, you’re a dick with a glove.” (some people have suggested that they thought this was about Michael Jackson!
“Body’s aching all the time.” (Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody)
“but he’s naked all the time.”
“And as we wind on down the road.” (Led Zeppelin – Stairway to heaven)
“There’s a wino down the road.”
“And kept her apart from the things that she loved.” (The Beatles – Getting Better)
“And kicked her apartment of things that’s Sheila.”
“Excuse me while I kiss the sky.” (Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze)
“Excuse me while I kiss this guy.”
“See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen” (Abba – Dancing Queen)
” See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen.”
“Like a virgin, touched for the very first time” (madonna – Like a Virgin)
“Like a virgin, touched for the thirty-first time”
“We built this city on rock and roll.” (Starship – We built this city)
“We built this city on log and coal.”
“I’ll never be your beast of burden.” (Rolling Stones – Beast of Burden)
“I’ll never leave your pizza burnin’.”
“Here we are now, entertain us.” (Nirvana – Smells like teen spirit)
“Here we are now, in containers.”
“The answer, my friend,
is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.” (Bob Dylan – Blowin’ in the wind)
“The ants are my friends,
they’re blowin’ in the wind
The ants are a-blowin’ in the wind.”
“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.” (Green day – Time of your life)
“Another turnip boy, the Ford stuck in the road.”
“Got my mind set on you.” (George Harrison – Got my mind set on you)
“Thought my mom sat on you.”
“There’s a bad moon on the rise.” (Creedence Clearwater Revival – Bad Moon Rising)
“There’s a bathroom on the right.”
Just because I love the song and it doesn’t get played too much here is “Beast Of Burden” by the Stones.
“Because she said she love you, love you long time!” March 2, 2011
Nelly shows us how big her booty from Gaddafi was
A random selection of news for you in this post dear readers. In a follow-up to one of my earlier posts about a number of music stars playing some very rich gigs at private parties for the Gaddafi family it has been reported that Nelly Furtado will be given the money she by playing for the Gaddafi’s in 2007 to charity. Top marks to Nelly in my opinion. Click here to read the story.
It was announced recently that the 100 Club has a saviour so it won’t have to close. That saviour, who is now the venues sponsor is Converse. Personally I think that is a great move, I have possessed a pair of Converse All Stars for most of the last thirty or so years. As a teenager I went through a white pair, a blue pair and a red pair. I have now settled on a very safe black pair, which I replace annually. I feel I’m in good company as the All Star was worn by such luminaries as Kurt Cobain and the Ramones.
Lady Gaga meets and eats Baby Gaga
I recently discovered a great clip collection of 101 bad covers of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance“. Click here to see it. In other Gaga news a London company has started to produce ice cream made from human breast milk. Click here to read the story. It has been named Baby Gaga. How many of you Little Britain fans just said or thought ‘bitty’?
Syd's psychedelic Baby Gaga 99 with flake caused his feet to grow incredibly large
Just how big a fan of Syd Barrett are you? Big enough to own the Syd Barrett Colouring Book perhaps? Well they are already extremely rare along with the first in the series which was the Joy Division Colouring Book. Click here to see the Syd book.
First a haunting, now levitation. What next? Exorcist style head spinning and green vomit?
Apparently Pete Townshend off of the Who has had a ghostly visit comparable with Dickens ghosts in ‘A Christmas Carol’. He claims that Les Paul appeared to him in a hotel recently telling him to rethink his guitar smashing which showed he had no respect for the instrument. The ghost of Les told him that if he didn’t do this he would suffer for the remainder of his life. Click here to read the story.
“I was blind, now I can see, you made a believer out of me” February 7, 2011
I was reading an article in last weeks NME in which they listed their view of the 50 druggiest albums ever recorded. Most of the usual suspects are included with Primal Scream‘s ‘Screamadelica’ making it to the top of the pile (or the bottom of this reverse order listing of course). The article also included a number of great little pieces of trivia. The one that really amused me was Fleetwood Mac, included at number 29 with their 1979 album ‘Tusk’. Apparently they were so full of coke they agreed that the album title would be the nickname that drummer and founder Mick Fleetwood called his todger. Whilst most normal people use simple terms like willy or cock, Mr Fleetwood prefers to call his manhood Tusk. Is it made of ivory with a sharp point? You have to hope not for any of his girlfriends or wives. So, and I may well regret this, what do you call yours?
As for the list, I’d like to know why the Eagles aren’t included, notably ‘Hotel California’
50 The Libertines – The Libertines
49 Oasis – Be Here Now
48 MGMT – Oracular Spectacular
47 Sex Pistols – Never Mind The Bollocks
46 Dr Dre – The Chronic
45 Klaxons – Surfing The Void
44 The Doors – The Doors
43 Brian Jonestown Massacre – Methodrone
42 Missy Elliott – Miss E…So Addictive
41 Guns ‘N’ Roses – Appetite For Destruction
40 Royal Trux – Twin Infinitives
39 Tricky – Maxinquaye
38 Jane’s Addiction – Ritual De Lo Habitual
37 The Birthday Party – Junk Yard
36 Pavement – Wowee Zowee
35 13th Floor Elevators – Easter Everywhere
34 Black Sabbath – Master of Reality
33 Neil Young – On the Beach
32 Babyshambles – Down In Albion
31 Bardo Pond – Bufo Alvarius
30 The Chemical Brothers – Exit Planet Dust
29 Fleetwood Mac – Tusk
28 Snoop Doggy Dogg – Doggystyle
27 Lou Reed – Metal Machine Music
26 Butthole Surfers – Locust Abortion Technician
25 Jefferson Airplane – Surrealistic Pillow
24 Ol’ Dirty Bastard – Nigga Please
23 Spacemen 3 – Taking Drugs To Make Music To Take Drugs To
22 Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers – L.A.M.F
21 David Bowie – Station To Station
20 Factory Floor – Untitled
19 Happy Mondays – Yes Please!
18 My Bloody Valentine – Loveless
17 Elton John – Madman Across The Water
16 Suede – Dog Man Star
15 The Stooges – Raw Power
14 Spiritualized – Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space
13 The Jesus and Mary Chain – Psychocandy
12 Cypress Hill – Black Sunday
11 Marilyn Manson – Antichrist Superstar
10 Pink Floyd – The Piper At The Gates of Dawn
09 The Jimi Hendrix Experience – Are You Experienced?
08 Lil Wayne – Tha Carter III
07 Miles Davis – Kind of Blue
06 The Beatles – Revolver
05 Nirvana – In Utero
04 Sly and the Family Stone – There’s A Riot Goin’ On
03 The Velvet Underground – White Light/White Heat
02 The Rolling Stones – Exile on Main St
01 Primal Scream – Screamadelica
“Howling in shadows living in a lunar spell” December 14, 2010
Well there really isn’t a great deal to say about this fantastic album cover animation other than it is truly brilliant. It’s called Battle Of The Bands and it truly is a fight to the death!
If I have noted it correctly it contains album covers from all the following artists, if you see any I have missed just let me know!
Foreigner, Yazoo, Billy Joel, Shaun Cassidy, Violent Femmes, Rick James, Eminem, Joe Jackson, Beastie Boys, 50 Cent, Roxy Music, King Crimson, Scorpions, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, Duran Duran, Velvet Underground, Pink Floyd, Coldplay, Rush, Boston, AC/ DC, Def Leppard, Replacements, Jane’s Addiction, Love And Rockets, Depeche Mode, Ozzy Osbourne, Weezer, B 52s, Dead Kennedys, Van Halen, Dio, Iron Maiden, Night Ranger, Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark, OMD, Nirvana, Asia, David Lee Roth, Black Flag, Cars, Michael Jackson, Beatles, Journey, Green Day, Hermans Hermits, Madness, Phil Collins, Lou Reed, Madonna, Tom Petty, Bob Seger, Lionel Richie, Devo, Jimi Hendrix, Quiet Riot and Metallica.
My favourites are Michael Jackson and Roxy Music, what are your favourites? Can you find the hidden Ozzy track?
With Just A Hint Of Mayhem 