With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music reviews, gig reviews, fun trivia and extra added random stuff!

“Aunty Milly, ran willy nilly when her legs they did recede” December 8, 2010

Filed under: Christmas,Trivia — justwilliam1959 @ 6:23 am
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So here we are then ready to reveal what’s behind the cardboard door of my UK Christmas Number Ones Advent Calendar for December 8th. Where the hell does the time go? Anyway today’s choice whizzes you way back through the sands of time to the Christmas of 1968 when “Lily The Pink” was number one for the Scaffold. It held sway at the top for three weeks. There were supported by some big stars although to be fair one of them hadn’t become a star at that point. Backing vocals on the song were provided by our stars and those stars were Elton John, who was not much more than a small stone in the celebrity universe at that time and Graham Nash off of the Hollies and later Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. In fact it is thanks to Mr Nash that the line “Jennifer Eccles had terrible freckles” was added to the song. In reference to the Hollies smash “Jennifer Eccles”

The song was based on a traditional folk song “The Ballad Of Lydia Pinkham” although the band provided most of the new lyrics. The band was from Liverpool and counted Mike McGear, Paul McCartney‘s brother among their members along with Roger McGough and John Gorman. The Scaffold performed a lot of McGough’s poetry in their live shows and they also had two other top 10 UK hits with “Thank U Very Much” in 1967 and “Liverpool Lou” in 1974. The latter was recorded with Paul McCartney and Wings.

Not the Scaffold at all, just an excuse for me to show another picture of the delightful Lily Allen........ Lily In Pink!

The band broke up in the late 70s but have reformed on a few occasions, often for charity and most recently to record a special song to commemorate Liverpool’s year as UK City Of Culture in 2008. Enjoy the band performing the song below.

 

“Pack his raincoat show him out” November 3, 2010

Filed under: News — justwilliam1959 @ 8:54 pm
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A balls up from the Met perhaps?

"You wanna use song titles in your evidence?" "You've got the gun, want me to play piano?"

A Metropolitan Police Firearms Officer has been suspended after giving evidence at the inquest into Mark Saunders. Saunders was a  Barrister who was killed by the police in May 2008 following a threatening standoff involving a shotgun at his Chelsea home.The suspension happened after it was discovered that he planted numerous song titles in his evidence. Among those songs were;

“No More Tears (Enough is Enough)” – Donna Summer and Barbara Streisand

“Point of No Return” – Duran Duran

“Line of Fire” – Journey

“Faith” – George Michael

“Quiet Moments” Chris De Burgh

“Kicking Myself” – As Tall As Lions

“Fuck My Old Boots” – Membranes

Now I have played this game, along with Bullshit Bingo at various meetings over the years, however I would not dream of doing anything like it in such a serious situation. Just what kind of idiot is this copper? To think that he is allowed to carry a gun too! You can read the story at the Guardian and the BBC.

I have played said game on at least two occasions. Firstly back in the 90s when I worked in the Finance team at a large Pharmaceutical company. We decided to see who could get the most Phil Collins solo titles into their working day. I didn’t win. The champion was Dave, who actually managed to get “Sussudio” into a conversation! How did he manage that? Well largely because he always struggled to pronounce the name of one of the director’s PAs, which was Cecilia. As I recall the conversation went something along the lines of “Has anyone seen Ce-Ce-Ce-Sussudio” I also realise that this does not look even remotely funny when you read it, but you really had to be there.

The second occasion was a little more planned and prepared. I was working in the project delivery team at a large electrical retailer in the UK back in 2000. Four of us decided that we were going to liven up our fortnightly status meeting with the IT Director by slipping as many Elton John song titles into the meeting as we could. We could only work from a pre agreed list of 25 songs. Apart from me the other participants were Kim, Phil and Frank. Phil bottled out and refused to take part and Frank was unwell, so that left just me and Kim. We both managed 11 each, however at the AOB stage of the meeting Irene the IT Director turned to Kim and said why do you have a list of what appears to be song titles in front of you and columns headed with four names. Basically Kim bottled it and simply said to Irene, it’s Elton John bingo and it’s all Bill’s idea. ( For the non regular readers I am Bill, but I’m not Spartacus, well not in this story anyway) As it happens I had resigned earlier that week so no punishment was forthcoming thankfully. There is a rather amusing footnote though, Irene the IT Director actually scored three points without even knowing she was playing. So for Kim an myself that meant that we were the winners but that Phil had effectively finished fourth out of three! Confused? probably!

I would love to hear your own stories of bullshit bingo experiences!

 

“It’s hard to believe that there’s nobody out there, it’s hard to believe that I’m all alone” November 1, 2010

Filed under: News — justwilliam1959 @ 8:07 pm
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Hardly Wodka from Varrington is it?

This post will be made up of just a random selection of stuff, starting with P Diddy aka Puff Daddy aka Sean Puffy Combs aka Sean Combs etc. etc. Anyway Mr Diddyman has been the face of Ciroc vodka for some time and as an advertising campaign that has been rather successful. Pre Diddy sales were 60,000 cases per year and Post Diddy sales are 400,000 cases per year. Now that is a result! (Thank you to those nice people over at Popbitch for that information.

Some wonderful X Factor news to report. Joe McElderry‘s new single entered the UK chart at number 6 and then dropped to 20 a couple of weeks back! RESULT!

Now for some rather more amusing X Factor news. Did you watch Diana Vickers perform her new single on the show recently? Did you have any idea what she was singing about? No nor did I. But worry no more for help is at hand, click here to see it translated and watch carefully for the blatant steal from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers “Under The Bridge“.

Then there is some really weird news from the world of X Factor. Jedward have spent £3,000 on a bed sheet that was signed by Michael Jackson and MaCaulay Culkin. Whatever you might have thought of Jacko, that certainly seems a strange thing to do. Sleep innocently with a young ‘friend’ and then sign the sheet with them. But for me paying £3,000 for the sheet is even stranger! Read the story in the Guardian here.

Jedward audition for a part in a remake of the Deadly Bees

Meanwhile a final X Factor related story, Elton John has given his opinion of the show. He describes it as ‘boring, arse-paralysingly brain-crippling’ I have to say that I do agree with him, I just wish it wasn’t so bloody addictive! Read his comments in the Guardian by clicking here.

Here’s a great clip from a 1966 movie ‘The Deadly Bees‘ featuring the Birds proto R & B/ Mod band featuring Mr Ronnie Wood off of the Faces and the Rolling Stones. There has to be a joke about the Birds and the Bees here doesn’t there?

Did you ever wonder what kind of backstage riders your favourite bands have? Well check out a Blink 182 rider here at the Smoking Gun website. I guess there are not many bands who want X Rated lesbian porn and boxer shorts are there?

Finally check out this song from an artist that is very new to me, Lauren Pritchard. It’s called “Not The Drinking”

 

“If Adolf Hitler flew in today, they’d send a limousine anyway”

Filed under: News,Trivia — justwilliam1959 @ 4:31 pm
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A collection of randomness awaits you in today’s post. Starting with a rather bizarre picture that was sent to me last week. Now obviously I read a lot of conspiracy theories (I don’t believe most of them though) and I have also read Ira Levin‘s ‘The Boys From Brazil‘ So from all that wealth of knowledge I have gleaned that most of the top Nazis from the 2nd World War disappeared to South America after the war, possibly including Adolf Hitler himself. Personally I never believed that at all and I believe that the picture below, which was taken on a London Bus recently clearly proves that Hitler is not in South America, but that he is in fact residing in Shepherds Bush in London. Is that Eva Braun with him or is it his Mother?

Hitler Hiels a bus!

OK so like I’ve said loads of times this is a music blog so here is a song that mentions Mr Hitler. It’s one of my favourite songs and this is undeniably a great excuse to play it, please enjoy the Clash with “White Man In The Hammersmith Palais”

Some rather sad news now, Sony is finally retiring the Walkman after 30 years of sterling service, I owned one in the early 80s although I can only imagine that a Walkman in a cupboard must feel like Woody in Toy Story when Buzz Lightyear arrives. In this case of course Buzz Lightyear represents the MP3 player or iPod. I read a brilliant post about the demise of the Walkman on the Barely Awake In Frog Pajamas blog. Click here to check it out, you’ll find some top tunes there too! You can also read about it in the Guardians Music Blog.

RIP - the Sony Walkman

What better song to play at the Walkman wake than “C30, C60, C90 Go” by Bow Wow Wow which includes wonderful lyrics such as “C30 C60 C90 Go, off the radio I get a constant flow, hit it, pause it, record it and play, turn it, rewind, and rub it away”

Did you know that Tina Turner once advertised Pearl Drops, way back in 1972? She should have sponsored fright wigs, especially at Halloween!

It’s not too late to save the 100 Club, just click here and contribute, I have! There has been live music at the venue since 1942 when it opened as the Feldman Swing Club. In 1976 it hosted the International Punk Festival which featured the Sex Pistols, Siouxse and the Banshees, Buzzcocks, the Damned and the Clash. More recently bands such as Gallows and the Automatic have released tracks recorded at their gigs at the 100 Club. Click here to see a comprehensive list of acts that have played the club. Watch the Jam performing at the 100 Club in 1977 below.

Sir Elton found writing pop songs a real pig these days, so he decided to leave to those X Factor muppets

Sir Elton John has said that he will no longer be releasing singles, he says that he is not able to compete in the singles Pop Charts with the likes of JLS and Lady Gaga. He says he will continue with what he calls fun side projects, like with the Scissor Sisters. He will also explore elements of his own musical heroes, like his current release with Leon Russell. Click here to read details of the story, which is taken from a GQ interview, on the BBC site.

 

“When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on” October 3, 2010

Filed under: News,Trivia — justwilliam1959 @ 11:53 am
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A recent survey undertaken by PRS for Music sought to discover the songs that make us men cry. A total of 1,700 men were polled and the results make somewhat interesting reading I think. The top ten is shown below, with a few comments from me. Click here to read a report on the results in the UK free newspaper, the Metro.

1. Everybody Hurts – REM – A great REM song taken from the classic ‘Automatic For The People‘ album. It was written by drummer Bill Berry, although he didn’t play drums on the track, that was done by a drum machine. He also said that the song was aimed at teenagers. In 2006 the song was voted 4th in a poll by Channel 5 to discover ‘Britain Favourite Break Up Songs’
2. Tears in Heaven – Eric Clapton – A very sad song in many ways. Clapton wrote it with Will Jennings after the death of his four-year old son Conor in 1991. The boy fell from the window of a friend’s apartment in New York
3. Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen – Now this one is a classic and has been covered by many artists. X Factor winner Alexandra Burke reached number one in the UK with, at best a very mediocre working of the song and at its worst would easily make music purists cry. In my opinion the best version is easily that of the late, great Jeff Buckley and that version can indeed bring tears to my eyes
4. Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’Connor – She will always have my respect for tearing up a photo of the pope on US TV, I bet that made a few people cry with rage though. It reached number one in the UK in 1990. The song is actually a cover version of a song written by his royal purpleness, Prince. It was recorded and released by the Family in 1985, this was simply a vehicle to enable Prince to release more of his material.
5. With or Without You – U2 – This was the first single from ‘The Joshua Tree’ in 1987 and became their first US number one song.
6. The Drugs Don’t Work – The Verve – This was the band’s most successful UK single and reached number one in 1997, having been released the day after Princess Diana died. It was written by lead singer Richard Ashcroft about his own drug habit and also about the death of his father.
7. Candle In The Wind – Elton John – I really do prefer the original version of this song, it was about Marilyn Monroe and was taken from the album ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road‘ However, sadly, in my opinion, the version that most people remember is the rewritten version for Princess Diana’s funeral in 1997, although in its defence it did raise millions for charity. Incidentally I reckon that must be the first time Princess Diana has been mentioned more than once in any of my posts.
8. Streets of Philadelphia – Bruce Springsteen – Bruce wrote this for the first mainstream movie to tackle HIV/ AIDS, ‘Philadelphia’ from 1993. The song won the best original song Oscar. It reached number one in many countries, although not in the US or UK. It has also been known to occasionally open my tear ducts too.
9. Unchained Melody – Todd Duncan – whilst the article lists the Todd Duncan version, which was taken from the 1955 prison film; ‘Unchained’ it is probably the Righteous Brothers version that most people know. That version was recorded in the sixties but became a massive hit again when it was used in the 1990 film ‘Ghost’. It has been recorded by more than 500 artists including, Jimmy Young, Elvis Presley, the Supremes, U2, the Smashing Pumpkins and there was also an excruciatingly bad version by Pop Idol muppet Gareth Gates.
10. Angels – Robbie Williams – As regular readers of this blog know, I am definitely not a Robbie fan and I particularly dislike this song. I really don’t get it, I mean “I’m loving angels instead”? Instead of what exactly?

There are a few songs that can make me blub, many by Johnny Nash, Bob Marley and Jeff Buckley. But perhaps the one that does it the most is “Sailing” by Rod Stewart. It was always my Dad’s favourite song and we played it as his funeral back in 2001. What songs make you cry?

Finally let me finish with a classic video for one of my favourite songs about crying. It’s “Cry” by Godley and Creme

 

“Then you take my mind and you play with it all night” July 15, 2010

Filed under: News,Trivia — justwilliam1959 @ 9:57 pm
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Wiley, was that beard drawn on by Etch-A-Sketch?

So if illegal free downloading is killing music, what is legal free downloading to it? Just ask UK Grime Star aka the Godfather of Grime aka Richard Cowie. Last Thursday he gave away 203 unreleased songs, it was such a big giveaway with such a big response that it caused a temporary meltdown on his web forum. But the fans seem to have loved it. Personally I think it’s a brilliant idea, although I suspect that his record company and management might not be so pleased. read the Wiley story in the Guardian by clicking here. This of course is in the same week that Prince gave away his new album for free with UK tabloid the Daily Mirror. Before you ask yes I did lower my standards and buy the tabloid simply to get a hold of the purple one’s new album, 20Ten. It’s actually rather good, especially as it just cost me the price of a tabloid and of course the shame of buying said tabloid. As for giving the album away free I’m sure Prince was paid a more than princely sum by the Mirror. Incidentally the Daily Mirror gave the album a five-star rating, hmmmmmmm I wonder why that was?

This year also sees the 5oth birthday of the Etch-A-Sketch. So why is that in a music blog I hear you ask? Well simply because a number of artists have created some excellent art on them including some music related works including Elvis and the Beatles which you can see below. Click here to read the Guardian story on this topic. The most well-known of these artists are Americans George Vlosich and Geoff Gagliardi. It’s quite amazing that this toy is that old and has hardly changed at all in that time.

Finally for today’s post I have to wish a very happy birthday to one of my favourite female singers of all time, the supremely talented Millie Jackson, she is 66 today. The first song of hers I ever owned was “My Man A Sweet Man” which I brought on 7 inch vinyl when I was about 12 years old. The song was quite a hit on the Northern Soul circuit in the UK. Later I really got into her albums, especially ‘Caught Up’ and ‘Still Caught Up’ If these had been recorded by a rock act they would have been even more highly acclaimed concept albums. The stories revolve around affairs and break-ups. I have seen her live just once, back in 1978 at the Victoria Apollo in London with my good mate Glen Voisey. If you’re reading this do you remember that show?

As a teenager I used to find this quite a sexy and alluring picture, now that’s an admission isn’t it?

Millie is short for Mildred and I definitely prefer Millie, obviously no disrespect for any Mildreds reading this of course. Her first really big hit in the US was “Hurts So Good” in 1973 and was featured in the blaxploitation movie ‘Cleopatra Jones’. There was also a great reggae cover of the song from Susan Cadogan in 1975. The ‘Caught Up’ album came out in 1974 and featured Millie’s superb cover of Luther Ingram’s “(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don’t Wanna Be Right” which became a million selling single and earned a grammy nomination too. In 1979 she recorded an album of duets with Isaac Hayes, ‘Royal Rappins’ which for me was ok but a long way from classic. She also recorded a hit duet with Elton John in 1985, the song was “Act Of War“. She has covered songs by artists as diverse as Merle Haggard (“If You’re Not Back In Love By Monday“), Boney M (“Never Change Lovers In The Middle Of The Night“) and Exile (“Kiss You All Over“). Unsurprisingly this is the first and possibly last mention of Boney M in  this blog.

This one too 😉

Millie was also a forerunner in the early days of rap, which was nothing like todays rap, but more like talking in the rhythm of the song and was normally a featured part of an album or song. One of the classic Millie raps was “Logs And Thangs“. She now has her own record label, Weird Wreckuds and was a radio presenter for many years in Atlanta. Some her album covers often appear in the worst ever covers lists, notably ‘Back To The Shit”. But forget the album covers, for me Millie always will be one of the greatest soul voices the world has ever seen. I hope you had a great birthday Millie!

Millie goes for the Royal Flush, but did she get to number 1 or number 2?

 

“Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes” June 9, 2010

Filed under: Trivia — justwilliam1959 @ 8:25 pm
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This is a post about kaleidoscopes, the reason for which will become clear later. So let’s start with a definition shall we?

Kaleidoscope (ka – lei – do – scope)
–noun
1. an optical instrument in which fragments of glass, held loosely at the end of a rotating tube, are shown in continually changing symmetrical forms by reflection in two or more mirrors set at angles to each other.
2. a continually changing pattern of shapes and colors.
3. a constantly shifting pattern, or scene.

I could add a fourth here which would say 4. the best Virtual Assistant on the planet with the best Virtual Assistant Website on the planet.

So have you guessed what this post is about yet? Well let me tell you, it’s to introduce you to Kaleidoscope Business Services new website. The home of a brilliant VA service provided by none other than the wonderful Catwoman. OK a confession here, it’s me that calls her the Catwoman, actually this wonderful lady and terrific VA is really called Catherine. Click here to go to the new Kaleidoscope Business Services website and below is one of Catherine’s extremely informative and useful videos

Obviously this is not really a business blog so take some time out to enjoy a few kaleidoscope related songs

“Kaleidoscope” – Boo Radleys

“I Was A Kaleidoscope” – Death Cab For Cutie

“Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” – Elton John and John Lennon

 

“Don’t need a gun to blow your mind oh no, oh no” May 23, 2010

Filed under: Trivia — justwilliam1959 @ 10:53 pm
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I had the pleasure of seeing a terrific new play this weekend at York Theatre Royal. It was called ‘Catcher – Before Chapman Shot Lennon‘. As many of you know, Mark David Chapman, the man who murdered John Lennon was obsessed with J D Salinger’s ‘Catcher In The Rye’ The book was in his possession when he shot Lennon, in fact it is said that after he fired those fatal shots he sat down to read the book until the police came. I think he was obsessed with Holden Caulfield, the book’s principal character as well as with fame itself. Before he killed John Lennon he had previously been photographed with Stephen King and Bob Dylan amongst others. Click here to read a really strange and frankly highly unbelievable conspiracy theory that it was Stephen King that shot John Lennon. Personally I think this is complete and utter tosh!

Anyway, back to the play. It is believed that Chapman hired a prostitute and had her come to his hotel on the night before the killing. This woman has never been found and has never made herself known. The play is based on the conversations that Chapman my have had with his hooker in his room. There are just two actors in the whole play which lasts 75 minutes. Mitzi Jones plays the prostitute, both as her older self narrating past events and as her younger self in the room with Chapman. The way she portrays both characters is phenomenal, with just a few simple changes to her clothes and hair, which for me proves how talented an actress she is. Ronan Summers plays Chapman and he, like Mitzi, is brilliant. Very intense and he really seems to capture the potential madness and imbalance in Chapman’s personality.

Obviously as a music fan I was keen to see this play and I would like to thank Rachel V for booking it for us (Rachel, Catwoman and me). If you get the chance to see it you really should, I am sure you won’t be disappointed. You can read a couple of reviews of the play here; One in the York Press and the other from The Stage

In a bizarre coincidence I finished Nick Kent’s (a former NME scribe) 70s memoir ‘Apathy For The Devil’ the day after I saw the play and he mentions Lennon’s murder. He said that he had read a book which gave details of every Beatles session, quite a weighty tome I believe! He read it a few years after the murder and spotted a strange thing. Apparently in the early versions of “Come Together” Lennon opened his vocal with the phrase ‘Shoot Me’ George Martin changed this to ‘Shoo’ as allegedly he felt this would be more acceptable to the record buying public.

OK as this is very much a John Lennon related post here are three of my favourite Lennon songs

“Instant Karma” – Without doubt my most favourite Lennon song ever

“Whatever Gets You Through The Night” – Perhaps not his most popular song, but I loved it from when I first got the ‘Walls And Bridges’ album on cassette back in the mid 70s. Elton John also plays piano, organ and provides backing vocals on the track. This is a live version recorded at an Elton gig from Madison Square Garden in 1974

“Woman Is The Nigger Of The World” – This is taken from the underrated ‘Sometime In New York City’ album. The song is based on a phrase first coined by Yoko Ono in the late 60s to describe the oppression of women, which is indeed what the song is all about. The use of the word nigger had the song banned from many US radio stations. This clip has Lennon explaining the song to Dick Cavett

 

Cemetery Junction April 21, 2010

Filed under: Film — justwilliam1959 @ 11:25 pm
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I was at the cinema at the weekend, in fact it was York City Screen, a truly wonderful venue. I popped out with Catwoman to see the new Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant movie ‘Cemetery Junction’ It’s essentially about three young guys growing up in Reading in the early 70s in a real dead-end part of Reading (Cemetery Junction! …….. geddit?). It resonates quite well with me because I entered my teens around the time the film was set; 1973.

In my opinion it was a good film, but not a great film. I would watch it when it is shown on TV but I doubt that I’d buy the DVD. The acting is pretty good though, especially the three lead characters and Ricky Gervais also makes a cameo appearance as the father of one of them.

The funniest line for me was when one of the lads says to his parents that he is going to Paris and his Mum responds with this “Paris? There’s parts of Reading you haven’t seen yet!” Classic!

I did really love the soundtrack though. Click here to see what Ricky Gervais had to say about the film and the soundtrack in a recent interview in the Guardian.

And to finish here are a couple of songs from the soundtrack.

“Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting” – Elton John filmed live in 1974

“Amazona” – Roxy Music – Taken from their third album ‘Stranded’

 

“When we had simplicity and we had warm toast for tea” March 25, 2010

Filed under: Trivia — justwilliam1959 @ 11:20 pm
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This is Ryefield School in Hillingdon a great place where I was a pupil from 1965 to 1970

Once again it’s been a long while since my last post, but not as long ago as the last time I attended Ryefield Junior School in Hillingdon. I was just a little boy called Billy in those days. I attended the school from 1965 until 1970 up until I was 11 years old. I discovered this week that it is Ryefield School’s 50th birthday celebrations this year, I hadn’t appreciated that I was just one year older than the school. One year and three days to be precise as it opened on January 4th 1960. So how did I find out about this auspicious occasion? Well I have mentioned Ryefield in a previous post and the present Headmaster Mr Dodd was doing some research and chanced upon my blog. Serendipity huh?

Anyway it got me thinking about those good old school days and for me Infant and Junior School was so much more fun than Senior School. I will remember Ryefield for many things. But the two that spring to mind immediately are the wonderful headmaster from my days there, Mr Yates. I don’t know much about him other than the fact that to me he was a wonderful man and although I didn’t realise it at the time he was probably my first mentor from outside my family circle. He encouraged me to learn by reading and indeed writing too. I also loved all those mental arithmetic tasks he set. The second thing that is in my mind about those years is my first ever foreign trip. It was a school trip to Paris and it was my first ever flight too. One of the things we were asked to do was write a postcard on the first day to send back to our parents. I did write my postcard, but I left it in my case and gave it to my Mum and Dad when I came home. I can only assume that they weren’t too worried about me

And so on to the music, for that is the purpose of this little blog. And obviously todays choices are all school related, I hope you enjoy them and as usual your school song suggestions would be welcomed

Schools Out – Alice Cooper. OK I know this was an obvious choice, but it is good isn’t it. For me it was one of the defining moments of early 70s music television

Remember The Days Of The Old School Yard – Cat Stevens. Just how talented was this man? Still just as talented these days now he is known as Yusuf. I believe the additional female vocal on this track is Elkie Brooks. Linda Lewis also recorded an excellent cover of this song, although sadly I can’t find it on line

Teacher I Need You – Elton John. A classic slice of Elton and Bernie from the wonderful 1973 album ‘Don’t Shoot Me I’m Only The Piano Player’

Teach Your Children – Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. This is accompanied by a photo montage that shows the Iraq war through the eyes of children

Don’t Stand So Close To Me – Police. Written by a former teacher, Gordon Sumner aka Sting and probably the only lyric which manages to rhyme cough with Nabokov, albeit it rather clumsily! This is the original version which is so much better than the 1986 remake

Be True To Your School – Beach Boys. This one says it all really doesn’t it and with added cheerleaders too.