Dear readers I have recently encountered a real problem. As many of you know I am not the world’s biggest Robbie Williams fan, in fact I take many opportunities to disparage the Robster. However my problematical dilemma is that I like the new Take That album (Robbie is a member again for now) and I also like the song he recorded with Gary Barlow for his current greatest hits package. I can just about live with all that I suppose. But if I ever tell you that I really love Robbie’s awful dirge “Angels” or that I have become a fan of JLS or Boylife or Westzone (I believe that Boyzone and Westlife are truly interchangeable) then take me to the vet and have me put down humanely!
Take That prepare to become David Haye's next victims!
Whilst talking of Take That, JLS and Westlife they all appeared on this weekend’s light entertainment show (it really, really isn’t a talent show is it?) the X Factor. Take That performed “The Flood” which was a million times better than the dreadful shite that JLS and Westlife performed. The JLS song, “Love You More” is at least raising money for the BBC’s Children In Need appeal, whereas Westlife’s “Safe” is just awful and not for charity. As usual there was a controversial vote, Aidan Grimshaw was booted out, very deservedly so in my opinion, at the expense of Katie Waissel. One has to ask what has she ever done to the people who vote on the show that she regularly receives fewer votes than Wagner (pronounced Vagner except for the old Irish windbag Louis Walsh!) But seriously, how can it be classed as a talent show whilst people like Wagner progress so far?
The real reason Robbie rejoined Take That is that he saw the on stage perks they now recieved! ............ While you're down there indeed!
But by far the biggest controversy about the show this weekend was whether or not Cheryl Cole farted whilst giving her verdict on Cher Lloyd on Saturday’s show. It’s a story carried by many of the UK tabloids, personally I reckon she did, what do you think? Did Cheryl really fart on live TV or is it just another whiff of hype from the X Factor machine. Cast your vote below and remember you will still have to pay me if you try to vote after the poll has closed. 😉
I wonder if that incident will give her new single “Promise This” a little extra wind to take it into the charts? Is it me or do the tights/ stockings she is wearing in the video look like artistic skid marks?
Holy Moly said she was going for a Bram Stoker's Dracula look, personally I think it was a cross between Princess Leia off of Star Wars and Minnie Mouse!
Let me finish with a question for you. How should one describe a Boyband that are no longer boys? I don’t know the answer but I would love to hear your suggestions. I have heard Manband used, but frankly that sounds like something a gentleman of a ‘certain’ age might use in conjunction with Viagra.
This post comes with a strong health warning attached, it contains some seriously CRAP songs!
Last month the AOL Radio Blog published their list of the 100 Worst Songs Ever, obviously this has caused a massive amount of debate. It is all based on opinion after all and there are definitely some entries I don’t agree with. Personally I would have liked to have seen many of Robbie Williams’ songs in there. Click here to see the whole list and if you can’t be bothered I have repeated the top 10 below. I would love to know what your worst songs ever are too? Use the comments function to let me and all the other readers know your choices.
1 “(It’s Time To) Beat Dat Beat” DJ Pauly D – I must confess until I came upon this list I had never heard of this song. Basically this guy seems to be a product of the ‘Jersey Shore’ TV show from the US. Well let’s face it, TV spin offs are often rubbish aren’t they and this is no exception, although I’m not sure it should be in the top ten, there are far worse songs out there. Just picture Anita Dobson singing “Anyone Can Fall In Love” to the Eastenders theme tune or Nick Berry (also off of Eastenders) with “Every Loser Wins“. I wonder what Brian May thought of Anita’s song?
2 “Who Let The Dogs Out?” Baha Men – I certainly agree with this one being in the list, I really dislike this song. Apparently when Victoria Beckham aka Posh Spice went into the players lounge at Old Trafford on one occasion when Goldenballs was still at Manchester United she and her entourage sang this to Jordan who was there because she was dating Andy Cole at the time. I’m not sure what Jordan responded with, but perhaps a mention of the fact that Posh Victoria is the only Spice Girl that has never had a solo number one in the UK would have been good!
3 “Ice Ice Baby” Vanilla Ice– So Ice always claimed that the bass line in this awful song was never ripped off from Bowie and Queen’s “Under Pressure”, does he think we’re stupid? This is the song which could have been the still birth of white rap, thankfully it wasn’t and Eminem rectified the crap that Vanilla Ice put out. Appropriately enough this was recently covered by the equally talentless X Factor pop muppets, Jedward and Vanilla Ice actually guested on it!That surely is some bad Karma isn’t it?
4 “She Bangs” Ricky Martin – I don’t thing I really agree with this one being here. It’s not my favourite song, nor is it as good as “Living La Vida Loca” but it’s ok. Ricky came to prominence as part of a Puerto Rican Boy Band, Menudo. Their policy was to replace the boys in the band when one of the following event’s happened; 1) Their voice broke, 2) They became too tall or 3) they reached the age of 16. As far as I know Ricky is the only Menudo old boy to achieve such massive success.
5 “Barbie Girl” – Aqua – Does anyone like this song? It’s awful and frankly somewhat pervy in places too. Mattel, who own the rights to Barbie took Aqua and MCA Records to court claiming that the song infringed their copyright and turned Barbie into a sex object. The song’s lyrics refer to Barbie as a ‘blonde bimbo’. Mattel lost the case as the song was deemed to be a genuine parody. The song topped the chart in at least 13 countries worldwide and even made it into the US top 10.
6 “U Can’t Touch This” MC Hammer – Well if you can get past his ridiculous fashion sense with those voluminous trousers then this isn’t too bad is it? The song heavily samples from Rick James’ “Super Freak“. Hammer went on to become a preacher in the 90s.
7 “I Am Woman” – Helen Reddy – Reddy was born in 1941 in Australia. She says that she wrote this song because she felt that there were no songs that reflected what the women’s liberation movements were trying to achieve. It went on to become a massive success in 1972 reaching number 1 in the US Chart. It isn’t one of my favourites, but I fail to see how it ended up in this list. Actually I always loved her song “Angie Baby”
8 “I’m Too Sexy” Right Said Fred – A formulaic disco song, sung by two shaven-headed/ bald well toned brothers; Richard and Fred Fairbrass. They had the classically stereotypical gay man look and I wonder whether this image was partly cultivated to broaden their market. This song smacks to me of being a classic one hit wonder. But strangely enough they went on to have quite a few hits, including a UK number one with “Deeply Dippy“. Meanwhile “I’m Too Sexy” actually reached number one in the US. The guys took their name from the Bernard Cribbins hit “Right Said Fred”
9 “Ebony And Ivory” Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder – Paul was never my favourite Beatle and I’ve always loved Stevie, so when I read about this before it’s release I was quite excited. But then I heard it. Let’s face it, it’s crap isn’t it? Should be filed along with McCartney’s “Frog Chorus – We All Stand Together” and Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called To say I Love You” and these two songs are so bad I think that they are actually bettered by “Ebony And Ivory”
10 “Macarena” Los Del Rio – This is one of those songs that no matter how much you hate it, it gets into your head and you just can’t get rid of it. I really dislike this tune and the stupid dance that goes with it.
In the 70’s Kenny Everett hosted a UK Radio Show called “Kenny Everett’s World’s Worst Record Show” featuring many truly atrocious recordings including “This Pullover” Jess Conrad.
My own worst song ever tends to vary depending upon my mood, however I nearly always goe back to “Billy Don’t Be A Hero” by Paper Lace or “Agadoo” by Black Lace or even “Angels” by Robbie Williams.
Hello once again regular readers and welcome to any new readers, I would love to hear from you via the comments function and also feel free to utilise the ‘rate’ option for each post.
A blue plaque not a blue meanie
A few more bits of music related news for you today. Firstly the house that John and Yoko lived in during 1968 finally gets an English Heritage blue plaque. The Marylebone property (basement and ground floor) was purchased by Ringo Starr in 1965 and before the Lennon’s moved in it was rented out to Paul McCartney and Jimi Hendrix. Read the story on the BBC.
Yoko thanked the builders for converting her former home into the leaning tower of Marylebone
To celebrate take a listen to “Yer Blues” from the Beatles ‘White Album’
Nick Clegg steals food from children as his contribution to the governments spending cuts
Now for some rather disappointing news, well in my opinion anyway. Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrat Leader and Tory Party muppet appeared on the BBC’s Desert Island Discs show this weekend and chose a book, a luxury item and 8 records (actually it’s 8 pieces of music. Why is that bad news? Well he’s only gone and chosen a David Bowie song hasn’t he. I just feel bad when people I don’t like happen to like people who I do like, does anyone else feel like that? The Bowie song he chose was “Life On Mars”, he also selected songs by Prince, Johnny Cash, Radiohead and Shakira. So begrudgingly I might have to credit him with some taste, I’d still never vote for him again though. Click here to read the report on the BBC. You can watch Mr Bowie performing the song below at the Yahoo Internet Life Music Awards in New York City in 2000, very ably supported by Mike Garson on piano.
Nick Clegg contemplates another luxury item to take to his desert island. Let's hope the cuts aren't too sharp eh Nick? Don't want any problems with inflation do we?
In another piece of Bowie related news Cheery Vanilla his one time squeeze from the 70’s has published her memoirs and the book is enticingly titled ‘Lick Me’, which is actually quite appropriate given her name. She is quoted as saying that if you’re given the chance to sleep with David Bowie you do it, even if you have giant carbuncles on your thighs. I’m not sure whether she did have those carbuncles though. Read about the book by clicking here.
Cherry Vanilla chooses a novel way of promoting her new book
A week or so back Take That revealed the cover to their new album, ‘Progress’. It is yet another take on the Ascent Of Man idea. The worrying thing about it for me is why Gary Barlow is looking up Mark Owen’s backside. Robbie is right in the middle and Jason Orange seems to have been given a real surprise. One which made him leap high. The Guardian analyses the picture here. What do you think of it?
It's a bit camp and a bit yellow isn't it?
Click here to read a list of 10 things that British Sea Power wished they hadn’t done from the drowned in sound website. My favourites are the fans dressed as 10 foot teddy bears and one of the band dressing as some kind of Geordie/ zebra hybrid to commemorate Kevin Keegan‘s appointment as Newcastle United manager.
The British Sea Power Teddy Bear was a bit grizzly that night!
A recent survey undertaken by PRS for Music sought to discover the songs that make us men cry. A total of 1,700 men were polled and the results make somewhat interesting reading I think. The top ten is shown below, with a few comments from me. Click here to read a report on the results in the UK free newspaper, the Metro.
1. Everybody Hurts – REM – A great REM song taken from the classic ‘Automatic For The People‘ album. It was written by drummer Bill Berry, although he didn’t play drums on the track, that was done by a drum machine. He also said that the song was aimed at teenagers. In 2006 the song was voted 4th in a poll by Channel 5 to discover ‘Britain Favourite Break Up Songs’ 2. Tears in Heaven – Eric Clapton – A very sad song in many ways. Clapton wrote it with Will Jennings after the death of his four-year old son Conor in 1991. The boy fell from the window of a friend’s apartment in New York 3. Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen – Now this one is a classic and has been covered by many artists. X Factor winner Alexandra Burke reached number one in the UK with, at best a very mediocre working of the song and at its worst would easily make music purists cry. In my opinion the best version is easily that of the late, great Jeff Buckley and that version can indeed bring tears to my eyes 4. Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’Connor– She will always have my respect for tearing up a photo of the pope on US TV, I bet that made a few people cry with rage though. It reached number one in the UK in 1990. The song is actually a cover version of a song written by his royal purpleness, Prince. It was recorded and released by the Family in 1985, this was simply a vehicle to enable Prince to release more of his material. 5. With or Without You – U2 – This was the first single from ‘The Joshua Tree’ in 1987 and became their first US number one song.
6. The Drugs Don’t Work – The Verve – This was the band’s most successful UK single and reached number one in 1997, having been released the day after Princess Diana died. It was written by lead singer Richard Ashcroft about his own drug habit and also about the death of his father. 7. Candle In The Wind – Elton John – I really do prefer the original version of this song, it was about Marilyn Monroe and was taken from the album ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road‘ However, sadly, in my opinion, the version that most people remember is the rewritten version for Princess Diana’s funeral in 1997, although in its defence it did raise millions for charity. Incidentally I reckon that must be the first time Princess Diana has been mentioned more than once in any of my posts. 8. Streets of Philadelphia – Bruce Springsteen – Bruce wrote this for the first mainstream movie to tackle HIV/ AIDS, ‘Philadelphia’ from 1993. The song won the best original song Oscar. It reached number one in many countries, although not in the US or UK. It has also been known to occasionally open my tear ducts too. 9. Unchained Melody – Todd Duncan – whilst the article lists the Todd Duncan version, which was taken from the 1955 prison film; ‘Unchained’ it is probably the Righteous Brothers version that most people know. That version was recorded in the sixties but became a massive hit again when it was used in the 1990 film ‘Ghost’. It has been recorded by more than 500 artists including, Jimmy Young, Elvis Presley, the Supremes, U2, the Smashing Pumpkins and there was also an excruciatingly bad version by Pop Idol muppet Gareth Gates. 10. Angels – Robbie Williams – As regular readers of this blog know, I am definitely not a Robbie fan and I particularly dislike this song. I really don’t get it, I mean “I’m loving angels instead”? Instead of what exactly?
There are a few songs that can make me blub, many by Johnny Nash, Bob Marley and Jeff Buckley. But perhaps the one that does it the most is “Sailing” by Rod Stewart. It was always my Dad’s favourite song and we played it as his funeral back in 2001. What songs make you cry?
Finally let me finish with a classic video for one of my favourite songs about crying. It’s “Cry” by Godley and Creme
In spite of popular opinion it was now clear that Gary was even shorter than Mark. But now at least he’ll be able to stand on Robbie’s Rudebox
I’m not a big Robbie Williams fan as any regular readers will know, but I couldn’t let the news of him rejoining Take That go without a mention. So rather than simply just mention it I thought I’d have some fun with it. Back in my school days at Bishopshalt in the early 70s myself and a friend (stand up Chris Skinner!) often made up short paragraphs using song titles and some simple words to link them. So that is something I have done here to represent an imaginary conversation between Robbie and Take That. The twist is that Robbie is only allowed to speak using his own hits and Take That with theirs, titles are all in CAPS. Let me know what you think. By my count there should be 20 Robbie songs and 14 from Take That, I’d love to see your versions as well
After Robbie had left the band the cheap arse tattoos didn’t seem such a good idea, for a period they were known as TAKE THA, what a bummer!
Robbie would remain eternally grateful that the rest of the boys had rescued his drowning career
Let me close with a conspiracy theory, because I know you love them! The lyrics to Back For Good were written by Gary Barlow. The question is though were they written about Robbie, especially the line about a lipstick mark on a coffee cup. Was Gary having an affair with a cross dressing Robbie? I think the world needs to know. (Please note that this last part is complete garbage that I just made up for fun, but even with this statement I suspect someone out there might actually believe it!)
It looks like Snoop has been into Audrey's Salon for a blue rinse and is that Roy Cropper's bag he's carrying?
Just a few random notes for today’s post! Firstly it has been reported that Snoop Dogg is a big fan of ITV’s Coronation Street, the long running UK soap opera. The show will be celebrating its 50th anniversary later this year with a storyline that includes a tram accident on the viaduct which may kill off a lot of major characters. That is not the way I’d like to celebrate my birthday! So how would Snoop come into the show do you think? Maybe he will buy Roy’s Rolls and turn it into a pole dancing club, perhaps called Snoop’s Poles! He could replace Chesney’s dog Schmeichel. I would love to hear your ideas on this one. Meanwhile read the story on the BBC by clicking here.
Audrey and Rita off of Coronation Street certainly scrub up well don't they?
We took Frank Lampard to the World Cup when really we should have taken Frank Sidebottom!
Fans of the late Chris Sievey aka Frank Sidebottom are campaigning to get his single to number one in the UK. It features the song “Who’s Been On Match Of The Day?” Read about the campaign by clicking here.I thought Frank was a great performer, I mean how many other people could have made a career of singing in a lo fi George Formby style while wearing a large papier-mache head? Well Robbie Williams has, although obviously without the lo fi, the George Formby style, the talent or the papier-mache head. Although he does have a large head, not physically of course, he’s just big-headed! Anyway I love Frank’s version of the Sex Pistol’s “Anarchy In The UK” which he retitled “Anarchy In Timperley”. Apparently he sent a tape of this to a record label along with a note which said something like ‘I would like to have a career in entertainment, do you have any pamphlets?’ He was also in a band called the Freshies who had a minor UK hit in 1981 with “I’m In Love With The Girl On The Virgin Manchester Megastore Checkout Desk” They had to switch the Virgin part of the title to’ a certain’ not because Virgin objected, but because the BBC wouldn’t allow advertising.
I'm not sure if that sign is a statement or an instruction
Today I had the iPod on shuffle and up popped the wonderfully talented Scroobius Pip aided and abetted by Dan Le Sac. I am a big fan of Messrs Pip and Sac. The song in question was “Thou Shalt Always Kill” It got me thinking that a post addressing all the Pip commandments might be quite fun. So firstly apologies to Dave Gorman who once did a live show which analysed all the parts of Ian Dury’s “Reasons To Be Cheerful Part 3”, indeed Catwoman actually saw it (and to be fair he probably did it far, far better than I am about to with Pip and Sac). So on with the song!
Thou Shalt Always Kill – Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip
(Feat. Pos Plug Won)
Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim; I totally agree with this one, so I guess this makes it ok to steal from banks right? Maybe some office stationery too
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets; Who the hell would want to worship bloody pop idols anyway, that’d be like ‘All Hail Gareth Gates’ or more fitting with his current life maybe ‘Our Server who art in McDonalds’. As for the Lost Prophets they weren’t a bad band, ok they are Welsh, but that’s not their fault is it?
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain; I totally agree, but who the hell is Johnny Hartman?
Thou shalt not think that any male over 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile, some people are just nice; I am way over 30, I love kids and I’m not a paedo, so I guess that makes me nice, doesn’t it? Incidentally isn’t it strange that those awful swimming trunks are called Speedos? Phonetically just one letter away from Peedo.
Thou shalt not read NME; Nope, can’t agree with this one at all, I’ve been reading NME since I was a young lad, from 1971 to be precise
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they have become popular; How very true, people they are not YOUR band just because you liked them before 99% of the population. Tom, it is ok for you to continue to like the Kings Of Leon!
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry; Yes, because Mr Fry has a brain the size of a planet and has more intellect in his belly button fluff than the collective intelligence of the England Football team
Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover; True, well unless it’s the Playboy Annual or something similar, equally any book with Robbie Williams on the front must, by definition, be rubbish!
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover; So that must mean you judge it by Mel Gibson, but I’m confused, does that make it better or worse?
Thou shalt not buy Coca Cola products; Absolutely, all that sugar has to be bad for you. Mind you I do like the odd Coca Cola Christmas bauble, so that would be another Pip commandment I have broken
Thou shalt not buy nestle products; Well I can live with this, apart from the fact that my good friend Karen McP works there, but personally I prefer Cadburys anyway
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend best friend, take drugs and cheat on him; Well I am completely exempt from this as I don’t take drugs, oh and I don’t have a boyfriend either!
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily; That is easy to say but bloody difficult to do
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls pants……use it to get into their heads; ok, just as long as I can be forgiven for my teenage years, where I confess I did use music in the former regard quite a lot and the latter regard quite a little. Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” always worked for me
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks; Nor any Aussie soaps either in my opinion
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and then leave as soon as you have done your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick; Well I think that one speaks for itself really!
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in & week out just because you once saw a girl there that you fancied that you’re never going to talk to anyway; Guilty as charged, but only in my teenage years and only a couple of times and on the second occasion I did get to speak to her, but she did make it very clear she wasn’t interested. Just rearrange these letters to understand what two-word phrase she used. kfcfuof, did you work it out?
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were; I did this with David Bowie back in the 70s, but then he recorded in the 80s and that made me see the error of my ways
The Beatles.
Were just a band.
Led Zeppelin
Just a band.
The Beach Boys.
Just a band
Sex Pistols.
Just a band.
The Clash.
Just a band.
Crass.
Just a band
Minor Threat.
Just a band.
The Cure
Just a band.
The Smiths
Just a band.
Nirvana.
Just a band.
The Pixies
Just a band
Oasis.
Just a band
Radiohead.
Just a band.
Bloc Party.
Just a band.
Arctic Monkeys.
Just a band.
The next big thing
Just a band.I can agree with almost all of the above, except for the Clash, these guys were way more than just a band to me
Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries; Too true, how many times has the news reported an earthquake somewhere like Mexico and had it low down the running order because no British people were hurt?
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling where never part of the four elements and never will be; I love rap, but this is sadly so very true
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music; I suspect that this relates to dance music and the Government’s attack on the rave generation, but it could equally apply to the bland crap produced by almost anyone of Simon Cowell’s identikit pop muppets
Thou shalt not pimp my ride; But I assume that it is ok for me to pimp my man-bag though, right?
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster; nor indeed listen to Geri Halliwell whilst in a sober state
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness; well ok, but sometimes that is a really good feeling!
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit; or any other city or town, but then again I am sure that later this year at Reading my good friend Nick H and me will make some noise for Reading
When I say “hey” thou shalt not say “ho”; Say Gabba Gabba instead, in honour of the Ramones
When I say “hip” thou shalt not say “hop”; Say replacement instead
When I say, he say, she say, we say “make some noise”…..kill me; ok then, seeing as you asked nicely
Thou shalt not quote me happy; or like the Go Compare advert
Thou shalt not shake it like a Polaroid picture; Well that’s how I dance bro’ – live with it!
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me; my girlfriend is all the freak I need thank you very much
Thou shalt spell the word phoenix : P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X regardless of what the Oxford English dictionary tells you; Now as far as this one goes I really don’t care
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at the club last night by saying “is it?”; very true, the correct statement is ‘innit’ innit?
Thou shalt think for yourselves; I hope everyone does this already
And thou shalt ALWAYS kill. I certainly can’t agree with this, although Catwoman and I do tend to regularly kill all the plants in the back yard, usually by neglect
I was saddened and angered by the news I read today that Somali militants have banned the playing of music from the country’s airwaves. Well technically the transition government only control a small part of the capital Mogadishu so it is actually the work of the militants that run the rest of the country. There has not been a functioning government in the state since 1991. The militants have closed down five BBC radio relay stations in the south of the country, so now there are just two FM transmitters left in the transition government and UN controlled part of Mogadishu. Is there anything we can do about it? I don’t know, but I doubt it. The waters off Somalia are already full of proper pirates so the chances of setting up a pirate radio station off shore seems unlikely. Can we write to our politicians? Well sure you can, but certainly in the UK at the moment the self-regarding parasites are so far up their own sphincters with the General Election and new ways to fiddle their expenses that they won’t be bothered by something so trifling as this. But if you do believe there is something we could do then please get in touch. If anyone from Somalia is actually reading this I would love to hear from you. You can read the BBC report on this story by clicking here
The ban on music radio in Somalia has led to the discovery and use of many innovative living instruments. I'm not quite sure where you blow on this one though!
This whole sorry episode got me thinking about songs that have been banned from airplay in the UK, so that, my dear readers is what this post is all about!
One of the biggest en masse bans occurred just after 9/11 back in 2001. A Programme Director at one of the Clear Channel Radio Stations produced a list of songs that he felt might be in bad taste after the events of 2001. It was allegedly meant as a guideline and supposedly received no corporate backing. I kind of see where this person was coming from with some of the choices (although I do not agree at all) but how the hell did the following make it on to the list?
Alice In Chains, the Beatles and Metallica have four entries each while AC/ DC are way out in front with six. It seems that almost any song mentioning planes, fire, death, bombs, New York or the middle east was included. Click here to see the whole list. The BBC actually preceded this during the Gulf War of 1991. This list included Abba’s “Waterloo” and also the instruction that Massive Attack would be referred to as Massive during the conflict. Click here to see the BBC’s Gulf War banned list and many other lists referenced in this post
The BBC has quite a long history of banning songs for various reasons and here is just a small selection along with the reasons they received a beeb ban!
“Je T’Aime” – Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg. Obviously the powers that be at the BBC back in 1969 understood french far better than I did then or even do today. personally I think there would have only been a tiny minority of people in the UK in 1969 who would have understood the lyrics anyway. It allegedly wasn’t helped though by the inclusion in the lyric of Serge’s desire to “entre te reins” which I’m told means between the kidneys, or in English probably ‘up the bum’
“The Day After You” – Blow Monkeys (supported by Curtis Mayfield). This was banned for being anti Margaret Thatcher. Since when was that a crime? I always have been and always will be. If you feel the same maybe you should also check out Elvis Costello’s “Tramp The Dirt Down”
“Tribute To Buddy Holly” – Mike Berry and the Outlaws. This was a Joe Meek production from 1961 and was banned for being a morbid celebration of a dead teen idol
“Cover Of The Rolling Stone” – Dr Hook and the Medicine Show. Obviously the BBC were not going to advertise an American publication, which in those days was almost impossible to get in this country anyway. The band tried to help by recording a new version of the song which replaced Rolling Stone with Radio Times, which was and still is a BBC published TV and Radio listings magazine (other listing magazines are available!)
Many other songs, especially more recently have been banned for including swearing. The earliest of these that I am aware of is John Lennon’s “Working Class Hero” in 1970. John Lydon (formerly known as Johnny Rotten remains the only person to have sneaked the ‘C’ word into a song and had it played though. Listen to the Sex Pistols “Pretty Vacant” again and hear how he pronounces ‘vacant’ in the chorus. I understand that this was deliberate. Nice one Mr Lydon 😉
I could go on and on with this post but I will draw it to a close, but I would like to hear your stories of banned songs wherever you are. Personally I think the world would be a nicer place if the likes of Boyzone, Westlife, Robbie Williams and anyone who wins X Factor were to be banned from getting any airplay ever!
I will finish with a story about Michael Logan who recently received an ASBO for singing Bob Marley songs outside his home in the UK from 8 a.m until midnight. (Click here for the link to the story from the Manchester Evening News) Now I don’t condone that sort of thing but it does give me a great excuse to end with a Bob Marley song! This is Bob with a great live segue of “War/ No More Trouble”
Did you know that the lyrics to Marley’s “War” were the words of a speech made by Haile Selassie?
It’s February 2010 (the 16th to be precise) and ‘With just A Hint Of Mayhem’ is coming to you live from the Brit Awards 2010. Well ok almost live and actually not really there but just in front of the telly! Just like last year really, if you want to relive my post from last years Brits click here
This years awards were hosted by the rather spiffingly talented Mr Peter Kay (Garlic Bread?) Interestingly the ad breaks featured a Master Card advert which was the story of last years Outstanding Achievement award winners the Pet Shop Boys doing a concert at someone’s house! Who would you choose to do a gig at your house? I would opt for David Bowie or Kate Bush!
First up to perform was the delectable Lily Allen. She sang “The Fear” with quite a strange cast of dancers; Pram Pushers, Men in Bowler Hats, Suits with no trousers and Union Jack Boxer Shorts and also some Umbrella Parachutists (is that a word?) dressed in pink camouflage gear. truly spectacular indeed! Lily was wearing a black hot pants type outfit, which I rather liked but Catwoman definitely didn’t! Hmmmmmmm I wonder why?
The first award was presented by Page 3 and ‘I’m A Celebrity’ veteran Sam Fox. She was introduced by Peter Kay as Sam Fleetwood, Mick Fox, Sam Fox in reference to the debacle that was the Brits presented by Sam and Mick Fleetwood off of Fleetwood Mac in the late 1980s. She presented the Brits Memorable Performance of the last 30 years. It seemed we were expecting a list of nominees, but there didn’t appear to be one. The award was given to the Spice Girls and was collected by Scary and Ginger or Mel B and Geri Halliwell as they prefer to be known these days
The next award was for Best British Male Artist and was presented by Andy Serkis who played Gollum in Lord Of The Rings and most recently played Ian Dury. The award went to the hugely entertaining Dizzee Rascal, thank god it wasn’t Robbie Williams! After this we endured JLS performing “Beat Again” they arrived on stage on strings, which confirmed my suspicions that these pop muppets are indeed puppets!
Mel B returned to the stage to present the next award to Jay Z or Jason Zed as Peter Kay called him. He won Best International Male Solo Artist. He spoke of his Glastonbury appearance and mentioned (tongue in cheek methinks) how he was influenced by the Spice Girls.
Noddy Holder off of Slade presented the best album of 30 years of the Brits award to Liam Gallagher for the Oasis album What’s The Story Morning Glory. Obviously Liam swore because the sound disappeared and the ‘audio has been muted’ appeared in the corner of the screen. As he left the stage he threw the microphone into the crowd and allegedly also threw the award into the crowd as well. Peter Kay referred to him, rightly so, as a knobhead when he did leave the stage.
Kasabian then played live and for me they were somewhat lacklustre, what did you think. I thought the flames at the front of the stage were more exciting.
The next award, the Breakthrough Act, was presented by Geri Halliwell (was this a Spice Girls take over?). Geri had to apologise for her earlier failure with Mel B to thank the other Spice Girls! It went to, shamefully in my opinion JLS. Pixie Lott, La Roux and Friendly Fires were all also nominated and missed out to the aforementioned muppets!
Courtney Love presented the Critics Choice Award to the delightful Ellie Goulding, I think I may have to download her album very soon.
Next to perform was the fantastic Lady Ga Ga. In my opinion she is a true star and a real mold breaker. She wore a kind of lace mask, fright wig and a body stocking that seemed to reveal more than it covered. A great performance and someone I would love to see in concert. She also dedicated her first song to the late, great and sadly departed Alexander McQueen.
Idris Elba off of London’s Burning (who he?) presented the Best British Group Award to Kasabian. Personally I felt it should have gone to Muse. Incidentally up to this point I had guessed every winner correctly!
Cat Deeley presented the first of Lady GaGa’s awards for International Breakthrough Artist. This was followed by a fantastic and inspired duet from Dizzee Rascal and Florence off of Florence and the Machine. It was the classic and one of my all time favourite songs; “You Got The Love” which was originally by the Source featuring Candi Staton.
There followed a short film clip of Prince Harry extolling the virtues and wonderful charitable work of the Brits Trust. He came across as quite amusing and very human and showed that one is down wiv da kidz! Which coming from someone like me who is very anti royal is big praise indeed.
über Knobhead Jonathan Ross presented the Best International Female award to (no surprises here) Lady GaGa. her second of the night so far!
Dame Shirley Bassey presented the Solo British Female award, one which she herself actually won in 1977. It went to one of my current favourite singers, Lily Allen. Lily wore a red wig, which she claimed was to make it hard for the cameras to pick her out for that ‘disappointed’ shot had she not won. Incidentally she clearly seemed surprised and very giggly!
Jay Z and Alicia Keys then duetted on a storming “New York State Of Mind”. Mr Z is my second favourite rapper after Eminem and Alicia possess one of the finest soul voices of her generation.
Mika presented the Best International Album Award to Lady GaGa, her third and final Brit of the night. I believe the new Queen Of The Brits deserved every one of them!
Cheryl Cole then performed “Fight For Your Love” amidst a cast of a thousand dancers. For me the dark glasses and dance moves suggested our Cheryl is something af a Janet Jackson wannabe. I didn’t spot Cashley in the crowd though, perhaps he texted her earlier!
Alan Carr had the honour of giving the Best British Single Award to JLS, well that one was voted for by Sun readers so what do you expect?
Tom Ford (is he a fashion designer?) presented the Best British Album Brit to Florence and the Machine for the brilliant album ‘Lungs’. Florence gave a very gracious acceptance speech. ‘Lungs’ is one of my favourite albums of recent years I also loved her set at last years Reading Festival
Finally the winner of the Outstanding Achievement Award who also had the honour of closing the show was Robbie Bloody Williams. He performed a medley of hits, including a song which I really do not like, “Angels” As regular readers might have guessed the appearance of Robbie was definitely not a highlight for me.
So in summary 3 Brits to Lady GaGa and sadly 2 to JLS and in my opinion that is 2 too many!
Hello dear readers I’m back with another post and firstly I would like to say thank you to everyone who has read any of my blog posts. The total number of views reached 100,000 yesterday. Now that gives no clue as to how many ‘regulars’ there are out there so if you are a regular reader I would love to hear from you. (Mickey G you’re welcome to respond to this, but I know you’re a regular!)
Anyway as the number of views has hit six digits for the first time I thought I’d include a few statistics, wow how exciting does that sound……..NOT! But I’m going to do it anyway. Firstly the artists that most people have searched for and found there way to my blog are;
Kate is in fact top of the class and definitely not a dunce. She is just borrowing Robbie Williams' hat 🙂
1 Kate Bush, 2 Pink Floyd, 3 Lily Allen, 4 Jackson Five, 5 Slipknot, 6 Iggy Pop, 7 Beatles, 8 Catwoman, 9 Michael Jackson and 10 Green Day This ranges from more than 10,000 hits for Kate and the Floyd and 1,400 for Green Day
Lily uses her new eco friendly banana microphone
Of course some of you may be familiar with the ‘Lily Allen Naked’ experiment we undertook here (if you’re not then check out the tags). The principle was not to lower the tone far enough to show any tabloid style naked pictures of the wonderfully talented Miss Allen, but simply to see how many people arrived here by using Lily Allen Naked as a search term. I can confirm that 220 people have done that. In a couple of strangely related incidents though 253 have searched for Ronan Keating Naked and a further 205 people for Eminem naked. There were also a handful of searches for Kate Bush naked and perhaps I shouldn’t mention the 4 people who searched for Meatloaf naked! (But for those who did search for Meatloaf Naked check the picture below, it’s just for you 😉
Meatloaf Naked, well there's no gravy on it is there?
And finally for the stats the most viewed links from the blog have been Steal The Smile (my son’s excellent band – click their name to check them out!), Kate Bush’s “Wuthering Heights” video and Wyclef’s “Stripper Song” video with 34, 26 and 19 views respectively. Catwoman asked me to point out that she loves statistics or maybe she said that she didn’t 😉
OK I’ve bored you enough withnumbers so let’s move on to some hopefully more interesting stuff. Firstly an item from yesterdays newspapers in the UK. A 46 year old Alice Cooper fan was fined £250 and also received a suspended jail term and a 3 month curfew order. He apparently removed his prosthetic leg and waved it around at Alice’s gig in the Southampton Guildhall. One member of the audience tried to stop him and was beaten up. To me this almost sounds like it could have been part of the one time Vincent Furnier’s act. Here is the link to the story in the Daily Telegraph. Let me know what you think of it.
Alice warns the unruly fan that if he hits anyone else with his false leg he'll cut the other one off too!
Also in the news yesterday was the legendary (in my opinion) Mick Jones off of the Clash. He has opened a library/ exhibition of a stacks of his Clash memorabilia, clothing and various other personal items. He calls it ‘one big living artwork’ Read about it here on Spinner.com. I would love to visit but I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it
Either Mick now runs a newspaper stand or this is some of his collection
Morrissey played at the Brixton Academy a few days ago and this is the film and music he played before he came on stage, bloody brilliant in my opinion! Did you guess the music? It’s “Lighten Up Morrissey” by Sparks! And for the hell of it here are the excellent Flaming Lips with a wonderful cover version of Madonna’s “Borderline” I would like to thank those wonderful folks at Mojo Magazine for pointing me to those two
Here’s a great blog for you, I know it’s not music related but I thought it was bloody funny it’s called Kemp Folds and features pictures of Ross Kemp off of Eastenders (aka Grant Mitchell) that have been folded. OK I know that sounds stupid but check it out by clicking here
Let’s finish today July 24th with a few ‘onthisdays’. firstly on this very day in 1967 all four of the Beatles and their then manager the late great (l’s & g’s are back ra ra ra) Brian Epstein signed a petition printed in The Times newspaper which called for the legalisation of cannabis. Well it seems like no one listened doesn’t it? Where can you use marijuana legally now apart from Amsterdam Coffee Shops?
On this day in 1997 Liam Gallagher off of Oasis was given a caution by police after admitting he had caused criminal damage following an altercation with a cyclist in Camden, London. Liam was travelling in a chauffeur-driven car (it’s a tough life being a rock star isn’t it?) when he grabbed the cyclist through the car window and broke his Ray Bans. Do you remember when Ray Bans were THE fashion item? There not as big these days are they? Anyway sticking with Oasis, when Noel Gallagher was the guitar tech for the Inspiral Carpets. The Carpets used to call him “Cot Death” because he slept so much.
I thought this was quite amusing. Thank you to Snipes.com
And finally for the ‘onthisdays’ today we go back to 2002. A garden centre was sued by the late great (l & g’sback with a vengeance) Freddie Mercury’s former partner Mary Austin. the law suit accused Clifton Nurseries of killing a collection of Freddie’s prized Koi Fish. Austin had inherited the collection on his death. The claim was that 84 fish died when a the electricity which supplied power to the fishes environment (a temporary pond apparently) was accidentally turned off by a worker at the Garden Centre in Maida Vale, London. Apparently by the time he died Freddie had built up one of the biggest Koi collections in the UK. These are not the sort of fish you’d find in your local fish and chip shop, one Koi can be worth as much as £250,000.
Imagine that Battered Koi, Large Chips and Mushy Peas ...... mmmmmmmm 🙂
To finish let me say thank you once again to everyone who has stopped at this blog occasionally, visited regularly, read it, commented, clicked on the links or simply looked at the pictures! And as this has been a statistics lead numbers post here is a link to the wonderful “Living By Numbers” from New Musik
With Just A Hint Of Mayhem 